Living in Your Afterglow
by singsongsung
Summary: Season three. Twenty-four episodes. Serena/Nate. Carter Baizen. Some Chuck/Blair. This time, they're going to get it right.
1. 3x01: Summer, Like it Hot

**A/N: **One season. Twenty-four chapters: some longer, some shorter, as not every episode can be dedicated to NS goodness. I'm going to try really hard to keep things canon, because this story is basically what I wish to happen in season three of GG. The chapters (episodes) will be named after movies. Everything that's happened on the show has indeed happened in this. It's centered around Serena and Nate, because god knows us NS fans deserve it, put it will also feature Carter Baizen, Chuck & Blair, as well as Erik and Dorota and Lily from time to time. The idea and plotlines of this story come from a late-night effort to kill a thread at FF by making up a season three wish list, so I've got to give Rui and Jacquelyn credit for their ideas, too! :)

And now, my fellow NSers, welcome to season three…

**3x01**

**[Summer, Like it Hot]**

She whirls back into his life, as she always does. She's a tornado, swirls of blonde hair, long legs, pretty dresses, perfect smiles, and something that's not allowed to be love.

"_Hey_!" she squeals delightedly, rushing toward him for an exuberant hug that's got her legs wrapped around his waist for a moment. She releases him, laughing at herself, the kind of laughter that's contagious. She leans in and they are hidden away by a moment by the curtains of her hair that fall on either side of their faces. She kisses the corner of his mouth and breathes, "I missed you, Natie."

He pulls her into another brief hug, relishing the sound of the nickname that has always been hers for him. "It's good to see you, too," he answers jokingly, dropping a kiss on top of her head. A friendly kiss, platonic kiss, an it's-been-too-long kiss – it could even be a brotherly kiss, but he hates that thought so he chooses not to use that particular descriptor.

"Babe."

She steps away from him and they both turn toward the door of the building, where Carter Baizen is, walking toward them. He steps up next to Serena and rests his hand at the small of her back in an incredibly familiar way, a move that makes Nate uncomfortable and angry. Since when does Carter fucking Baizen call _anyone_ babe, never mind Serena?

"Hey, you," she says, speaking to him with a tenderness that shocks Nate. She looks back and forth between the boys, resting her palms gently against each of their chests. "Can you two play nice while I run upstairs?" she teases.

"Of course." Carter pulls his hand from his pocket and flips his wrist with practiced, casual elegance. "Our reservation's in five minutes – be as fast as you can, I beg of you," he adds teasingly.

She winks at him, flirtatious and adoring. "I promise," she says, throwing Nate a quick smile before she hurries upstairs, a couple men rushing after her with all of her bags.

Carter stands there wearing a knowing smirk similar to the ones Chuck tends to sport, watching Nate watch Serena go. "She looks good, doesn't she?"

Nate turns back to him so fast that his neck makes a disturbing cracking sound. Wincing, he reaches up to massage his neck. He regards Carter warily before he finally agrees, "Yeah, she does." She's all tanned, her hair naturally highlighted by the sun, eye sparkling blue, her dress revealing just enough. "Where, uh…where have you two been?"

"Fiji," Carter says casually. It seems that he and Serena always run into each other in crazy, exotic destinations. "The sun agrees with her. Summer's her season."

Nate can do nothing but stand there and glare. He knows all of that, he knew it sooner than Carter ever did, and he knows it better. Of course the sun agrees with her, she's practically it's living embodiment. One of the first serious things he ever said to her when they were little kids was _you've got hair like sunshine, or maybe a halo_. And summer is not _her_ season. It belongs to them, Serena and Nate, doing nothing and everything and pretending that none of it matters once the leaves begin to fall even though it meant the world on hot, summery nights. Summer is theirs, not Serena's alone, and certainly not Serena and Carter's.

She reappears in a white dress with a pale blue sweater thrown on overtop, breathless and beautiful. "Hey, no fist fights!" she teases happily, touching both their arms. "I'm so proud of my boys."

Plural. He hates plurals. Two boys, sure, but one's got to be more important than the other.

"Hey!" she cries once more as if she's just gotten a brilliant idea. "Where's Vanessa? Why don't you two come to lunch with us?! I'm absolutely dying to here about your European adventure! I know how excited she was about it." Her smile is bright and encouraging.

"Vanessa and I are…I mean we _aren't_…we're not together." Something changes in her eyes that shocks him; it's clear that she hadn't known that. "The trip was good, and we're friends, I guess…but we're both a lot different than we thought we were. We don't know each other like we thought we did. She's home in Brooklyn, her crazy rockstar lesbian sister's in town."

Serena grins at that description, but there's still something different about her eyes. He could never read Vanessa's eyes like that. "I'm sorry, Nate," she says softly.

"Yeah, that sucks, man," Carter inputs, and Nate really wants him to disappear.

He shrugs, speaking only to Serena. "We went as friends, we came back as friends. It's how it's supposed to be."

"Yeah," she whispers sympathetically.

"Our car's here, sweetheart," Carter says. He sounds sincere and kind and like he actually cares about her wellbeing, but Nate has many reasons to distrust the other man. Serena's probably the most precious thing in his life. He's not really ready to admit that to anyone, especially not himself or the couple he's standing with, but he's not going to risk her like this.

By some miracle, or maybe because she feels the same way, she understands. "I'll meet you outside, okay?" she asks Carter softly. It sounds like a question but all three of them know it's really an order.

He glances back and forth between them for a moment before he nods. He leans in to speak close to her ear: "_You look amazing in that dress_."

Her hand finds his and she gives it a squeeze as she leans in to give him a quick kiss. "Thank you," she murmurs, and she means it for more than just the compliment he's given her.

As Carter leaves Serena reaches out to touch Nate's arm, her hand cupping his elbow and skimming downward. "Are you really okay?"

He nods. He doesn't want to talk about himself. "Are you?"

Her smile is sweet but puzzled. "Yeah, of course."

"Serena…" He sighs. "Carter is not a good guy."

"Nate." Her tone tells him to stop right there but he ignores it.

"I don't…I don't think this is a good idea. I know you guys have got some history but…" He trails off, shaking his head.

"Nate." She tilts her head, trying to meet his eyes. "I can take care of myself, I promise. I _know_ him."

Stubbornly standing his ground, he says, "I don't want you to get hurt. He'll hurt you."

She sighs heavily. "He won't," she finally says. "I love you for this, Nate, but…I know him. I know what we're doing, what he's doing for me. He actually…he cares."

He stops thinking for a moment, struck speechless by those three words. He shakes his head a little to clear it and reminds himself how she means them. "What next then?" he demands. "What happens next?"

"Nate, really –"

"Are you going to go off with him somewhere? Disappear off to some island and do whatever the hell it is you two do? Give up on college? Never come home?"

"Nate!" she cries, shocked at his outburst. She's standing there in her white dress looking sun-kissed and drop-dead gorgeous and very much like she's got a thing going on with some other guy, and it only fuels him onward.

"What the fuck are you thinking, with _him_? Dan, I understood. Dan was kind of good for you. But Carter's no different than that Gabe guy you dated. Carter's no different from all the guys before that. Hell, _Chuck_ I could understand, but _not_ Carter! _You_ can't get close to a guy like that!" He's ranting and he knows it, but he's angry and he's just starting to realize that he's hurt, and he can't stop.

Serena gives him a long, hard look with those startled blue bedroom eyes of hers. "I don't know you right now," she murmurs, but she doesn't move away, she doesn't even look away.

"You can't leave with him," Nate blurts desperately.

"We have a reservation!" she cries helplessly.

"No, not now! I mean, I don't want you to go now, but you can't just disappear somewhere with him!"

"And who says that's going to happen? I have no plans to disappear."

"Because you _never_ plan," he shoots back. "It's not who you are. You never plan and you _always_ disappear. And I'm tired of it. I am fucking tired of it, Serena."

"Wha…why…" she splutters. She furrows her brows and her nose scrunches up adorably. "Why are you…"

"Because I don't want to lose you again, okay?" he asks sharply. "You never plan, you disappear, and I am always left behind."

"Nate," she breathes out, a tortured look in her eyes. It's a moment painfully reminiscent of the day she kept insisting that she didn't come back for him. She glances down, sniffling, before she meets his eyes. "Damn it, I can't do this now, we have a freaking reservation for lunch! Nate, I…"

His anger evaporates. Her eyes are pleading with him and that's all it takes. He waves her words away and turns to go. Maybe if Chuck isn't busy with Blair, they can hang out and smoke something and Nate can whine and Chuck can pat his shoulder and tell him to _tap that ass_, or something equally stupid. He can't be near her anymore, not when she's hurrying off to be with some other guy. "Go. Whatever. Go."

"_Natie_," she says in a small voice.

He plasters smiles at her to tell her it's okay. "Carter's waiting for you."

She doesn't want to go. She shifts her wait from foot to foot and frowns at him. "Can we hang out?" she asks quietly. "Some time this week, can we spend time together? I'll bring lattes, you turn on the History channel, and we'll just…hang out? Summer's always been _our_ thing."

And just like that, she melts his heart, and his smile becomes a real one. "Yeah, sure." She nods and turns slowly to go, and he sighs. "For the record, Serena," he says, because he feels like he has to: "I missed you, too."


	2. 3x02: What Happens in Fiji

**A/N: **Thanks for your feedback! You're wonderful. :) The problem with making this as realistic as possible, as if these events could actually occur in an episode, is that my chapters can't be very long. I guess that's not a bad thing, but it's different than what I'm accustomed to writing. If you read it, please review it!

**3x02**

**[What Happens in Fiji]**

"Nate." Blair's smile is surprised but casual, easy contentment, when she steps out of her apartment building to find him outside. "You're back!" she exclaims lightly.

"Yeah…" They do that awkward thing for a moment where they're both uncertain, and they're not sure if they should just smile or maybe shake hands or possibly hug, and then they laugh at themselves and wrap their arms around each other for a moment. When they pull back she's still beaming and it makes him smile, too. "You look happy."

Her smile changes, private and sweet, the meaning of which can only be understood by another guy. "I am happy," she says. She sounds so sugary, but earnestly so. She never sounded like that with him. She's radiating joy, so much that he absorbs it and smiles as well as they fall into step with one another.

"So…what brings you by?" she asks, shooting him a knowing look even in her peripheral vision.

"I was just, uh…" He lifts a hand to rub the back of his neck nervously and Blair may or may not giggle at that – by the time he glances at her to check her face is neutral and she's blinking at him with innocent curious. "I was wondering if Chuck was around," he finally says. Lame, and they both know it.

"Uh-huh," she says slowly, and she really giggles, he hears it for sure. "Well, Chuck is actually eating brunch at home with his family this morning." Her hand rests just below her neck, fingers lingering over her pearls, ever the society girl. She glances at him out of the corner of her eye. "I could wave sworn that he told me he mentioned that to you."

"I, um, don't think he did." He winks at her. "He's been a little distracted lately."

Blair rolls her eyes. She's pleased, but she's not buying it for a second. "Well, sweetie…" She used to use terms of endearment with him all the time, so it's not weird, but it definitely sounds a little condescending, "Why don't you just go by there? I'm sure they'd all be happy to see you. Lily's always adored you." She meets his eyes and beams evenly like she's not speaking in code.

"I don't know," he mumbles.

"Why don't you just go, Nate?" she asks seriously, giving him a probing stare.

He shakes his head. "I don't want to interrupt their family meal. They haven't seen much of each other this summer." He stops walking and sighs. "I think I'm going to go home; change and go for a run." He reaches out to hug her again. "It was good to see you."

Blair rolls her eyes when they pull apart, exasperated with his denial. It makes him feel bad – she dealt with it, somewhat unknowingly, for years. "You too, Nate," she says mutedly.

[xo]

"Hey," Serena says miserably, wearily as she flops down onto Chuck's bed next to her stepbrother, who's lounging as he lazily flips through the latest issue of some business magazine she could never be bothered to read. She finds it impressive, this more serious side of him.

"Hey," he says, a laugh hidden away in that single syllable he speaks. "How're you doing, sis?"

She's too exhausted and confused to remind him that she doesn't like to be called that. "I don't know." She lets her eyes flutter closed and sighs. "I'm tired. Maybe I have jetlag."

"Or maybe you've been busy with Carter," Chuck smarms.

Serena groans, grabbing one of Chuck's many pillows and placing it over her face, burying her head in it. "I don't want to have this conversation, Chuck. Seriously."

"You sought me out, S.," he reminds her – almost gently.

"And I'm beginning to regret it," she mutters, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"You and Carter Baizen," he muses as though she never spoke. "I have to say, I never really saw that coming – but you always were unpredictable, weren't you?"

She moves the pillow, hugging it to her chest, and sighs. "It's more complicated than that."

"Hmm…" He regards her, amused. "I wonder how long it's going to take you to _finally_ admit to yourself how you really feel."

Serena throws him a glare. "_What_ do you think I'm talking about?"

"Oh, sweetheart," Chuck says lazily, that ever-present smirk of his causing his lips to curl upward. "You _know_ what I'm talking about."

Her nose get all scrunched up as she continues to frown at him. Sitting up, she says, "Don't even talk to me about…whatever it is you think you're talking to me about. Who are you to judge me? You couldn't tell Blair that you loved her for _months_!"

"And it's so nice to be the observer for once," he agrees with a grin, folding his hands behind his head and sighing contentedly.

"You know nothing," she snarls.

"So explain it to me, then," he challenges her. And while Chuck is actually one of the people she trusts most to help her and understand her, she just can't. And in that, he wins. She can see it in his eyes.

Instead of giving him a real reply, she flings her pillow at his face, splutters, "You're _infuriating_," and slams his door on the way out, hurrying to her own room to call Carter. Chuck's chuckling follows her all the way down the hall.

[xo]

Carter opens the door for her when they pull up in front of her building after an afternoon spent at the movies. It was just what she needed: relaxing and sweet, the most predictable yet enjoyable kind of date.

"Thank you, kind sir," she teases him adoringly, resting her hand against his cheek momentarily as she steps out. She tilts her head toward her building. "Wanna come up?"

He rests a hand on her hip before sliding it around to the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. Their noses brush as he smiles at her. "I'd never say no to _that_." She giggles and he holds up a manila envelope. "But first, I wanted to give you this."

His writing is on the front, her name scribbled there – she loves his writing, rough and mysterious. She places a hand over her heart and shoots him a grin. "Did you write me a love letter?" she asks in her most enamoured voice. Even though she's teasing him, she realizes that her voice is soft, intimate.

Carter rolls his eyes. "You know what's in there," he murmurs.

She nods, swallowing hard as she accepts it from him – information of some sort about the father she has yet to locate or contact. "Almost _better_ than a love letter," she says, glancing down at the envelope shyly. She meets his eyes again and smiles. "You take such good care of me."

[xo]

Nate decides to make an effort. He feels bad for arguing with her the day before – part of him feels that everything he said was legitimate, but he hates to be mad at Serena, and he hates the thought of Serena being mad at him.

So he goes to her favourite coffee shop and gets iced mocha frappucinos and chocolate-filled croissants like they used to eat when they were little, getting their fingers and lips all sticky with sugar. He figures he'll surprise her by dropping by her apartment with treats, and they can sit on the couch or on top of the blankets on her bed and watch documentaries on the History Channel and talk about their lives, and if she's happy and she really see the good in Carter, he'll try to be happy for her and he'll try to see it, too. At least then he'll have her as his friend, his Serena, full of the warmest hugs and the greatest laughter, the best smiles and so much liveliness.

Pleased with his idea and his initiative, he walks to her house, sweating frappucinos in hand, brown paper bag full of croissants under his arm. As he's approaching, he sees her standing outside by a car and he grins.

Then he realizes she's with Carter and both his smile and his heart fall. Together again. She's been at his side since they returned and it's driving Nate crazy. He wants to talk to Serena about her. Nate wants to say that maybe Carter can give her the world, but it's not enough. She deserves more than that.

Carter hands her an envelope and she says something soft and tender to him. Carter's hand is resting at the small of her back again – she's got a birthmark there, and it occurs to Nate that he's definitely not the only one with that piece of knowledge, and it makes his blood boil. Nate watches with his jaw clenched as Carter pulls Serena close to him and kisses her.

It's a real, serious kiss. Emotional and passionate. Nate hates that he has to notice this, but there's tongue, there's definitely tongue. Serena's leaning in to him, eyes closed, and when they pull apart for air she rests her forehead momentarily against Carter's and whispers something that Nate can't hear. Both Carter and Serena smile, then she leans in for one last kiss before tugging the envelope into her monstrosity of a purse and heading inside her building, winking at him over her shoulder.

He's not entirely sure what he's thinking – it's actually fairly possible that he's not thinking at all – but he finds himself charging toward Carter Baizen. He balances the tray that holds his frappucinos in one hand and uses the other to shove Carter. "_Hey_," he says sharply.

"Nate. What the hell is your deal?" Carter asks. Somehow, he still sounds calm and collected, even as he frowns.

"She thinks you like her, okay? Maybe she even thinks you love her, and she seems some sort of good in you that I have yet to see any evidence of. I don't know what happened between you two in Fiji and I'm pretty sure I don't _want_ to know, but she thinks you're good for her. And what's more than that: _she_ likes _you_. And Serena doesn't get attached to people all that easily, okay? She's got some abandonment issues from childhood, and she and I, we…what I mean to say is that she got her heart broken. By Dan. Last year. Because he was her boyfriend. And so, if she likes you – and she does, because she did that forehead thing with you – it _really_ means something. So you better like her in a way that really means something, too?" He gets right in Carter's face, nothing but serious. "I know you've got everything in the world at your disposal, and you're a 'bad guy', and she falls for that. I know you can charm your way into anything. And if you really like her, and maybe you do, then I know you'd give her absolutely anything she could ever ask for. But it's not _enough_. She's more complicated than that; she needs more than that. She _deserves_ more than that."

He takes a step back and inhales deeply, brushing off his shirt as if they'd been physically fighting or something. "Sorry," he mutters as Carter gapes at him. He shoves the tray of iced-coffee treats and the bag of croissants into the other man's hands. "Here. Those are her favourites. Have a good day."

And with that, he walks off, going home to wallow in his undeniable infatuation with a girl he's about two years late to have, and to watch the History Channel on his own.


	3. 3x03: Accepted

**3x03**

**[Accepted]**

His fingers tangle in her hair, winding strands lightly around his fingers, and he kisses the crown of her head. "When do you leave?"

"Mm," she murmurs, burying her head against his shoulder and hooking one of her legs over one of his. "Soon. Way too soon." She sighs sadly and kisses his skin, the dip in his body between his shoulder and his collarbone. "I'm going to miss you so much…"

"You won't have to. I'll come with you."

She tilts her chin upward so that she can look him in the eye, her smile sceptical. "You? You're going to go to _college_?" She shakes her head fondly. "You'd be bored out of your mind; you can't stay in one place for that long."

He shrugs and smirks at her. "I could stay with you for that long."

"Stop," she giggles, blood rushing to her cheeks and making them pink. She pauses, giving him a serious look as a thought begins to form in her mind. "But…you could stay in the city for a while, couldn't you?"

Carter nods. "I plan to."

"So…maybe I could, too," she murmurs thoughtfully.

"Hey, no," he says gently. "You can't do that for me."

"I'm doing it for _me_," she replies, grinning cheekily. "So I get to be with you. And all my friends are staying in the city, too. Blair and Dan are going to NYU, Chuck's got Bass Industries, Nate's going to Columbia…it'll be good. Besides," she adds in a quieter voice, glancing up at him through her eyelashes. "This is where _he_ knows he can find me."

[xo]

"Mom?"

Lily Bass glanced up from her morning paper to regard her daughter. "Yes, darling, what is it?"

She wrings her hands, locking her fingers together by the knuckles, and then takes a seat next to her mother at the kitchen table, where a colourful, generous breakfast is laid out.

"Eat something," Lily says, dishing watermelon, kiwi, and orange slices onto a plate along with some pancakes and eggs before handing it to Serena.

"Thanks," Serena says laughingly, but she doesn't pick up her fork to begin eating. "Listen, Mom, I was kind of hoping to talk to you about something."

Her mother looks alarmed. "Uh-oh," she says calmly, teasingly. She sets her newspaper aside and looks at Serena seriously, with her full attention. "Alright, what is it?"

"I don't think I want to go to Brown," she says softly.

Lily's jaw drops – just barely, and she closes her mouth instantly, but it does happen. "What?" she asks softly, as if she hadn't heard her daughter.

"Crazy, right?" she asks, wincing nervously as she awaits more.

"Well…_yes_, honey," Lily can't help but agree with her. "You've changed so much; you worked so hard for this. I was so proud of you. I thought you were proud of this, too, I thought you were excited about it. You were, weren't you?"

Serena nods.

Lily drums her fingers against the tabletop and gives her a weary, concerned look. "Serena, did something happen this summer? Can you please explain to me your sudden need not to attend university?"

"I _want_ to attend university!" she insists, "Just not in Providence."

"Sweetie –"

"_Please_, Mom," she interrupts forcefully. "Can I just go to NYU? Blair's going there," she adds convincingly, as if that makes NYU the very best school in the world.

Lily grimaces, reaching out and laying one of her hands over Serena's. "Darling, do you _really_ want to go to NYU?"

Serena laughs at the expression on Lily Bass' face at the thought of her beautiful , rich daughter slumming it with a bunch of middle-class kids, reading novels from Oprah's Book Club. "No," she admits, making a face of her own.

Her mother sighs and pats her hand. "You know that I can get you into any school," she says with a sigh, raising one eyebrow pointedly.

"Thank you, Mom," Serena says softly, flipping her hand over to squeeze her mother's fingers.

"But Brown…" Lily laments with a small shake of her head.

"I'll always be proud of getting into Brown," she says quietly. "I'm really, really glad that I did." Shrugging, she adds, "But I just can't go there."

"Alright," Lily says. She gives her daughter's hand a gentle squeeze and releases it, reaching for her newspaper and her reading glasses again. "I'll make some phone calls."

[xo]

Lily walks up to her, resting a hand on Serena's back and kissing the top of her hand. She hands her an envelope, bursting with papers. "It's done," she says with a small smile. "And you're sure?"

Serena accepts the thick envelope from her, smiling. "I'm sure," she says, kissing her mother's cheek and turning to go into her bedroom to rifle through all this new information.

"Serena," her mother calls after her, wearing a contemplative frown. "Is this about Carter?"

She shakes her head slightly, realizing for herself that it actually isn't, not at all.

[xo]

"_Nate!"_

He turns around on the busy New York City sidewalk to see Serena van der Woodsen rushing toward him. She's wearing a dress he remembers from last summer when they spent all that time together and she's taken off her heels so that she can move more easily, and her hair is up in one of those lazy-but-intricate ponytails that he loves.

"What're you _doing_?!" he asks laughingly as she barrels over to him, so unsteady on her bare feet that he reaches out to hold her up, and it's then that he notices she's got a gash on one of her big toes. "Wow, are you okay? Why don't you have shoes on? That's going to get infected." He kind of hates himself for sounding like his mother in that moment, but he cares about her.

"Whatever," she says dismissively, clinging to him, her hands on his biceps, thousand-dollar strappy wedges dangling from her fingertips. "Listen, I have to tell you something. You know how you get news sometimes, and you need to tell someone because it's _great_, but there's one person you just really need to tell before anyone else?" She sucks in some air and grins at him. "I needed to tell you."

He grins back at her; her smiles have always been infectious. "Okay, so tell me."

Her smile is adorable, smirky-sweet, dimples in her cheeks and wrinkles around her eyes, and God, has she always been quite this beautiful? He can't help but wonder as she leans in and whispers the best secret he could have asked for into his ear, her teeth tugging teasingly at its lobe. She pulls back and keeps smiling at him, that same smile, her hands still on his arms.

"You're what?!" he asks laughingly.

"I'm going to Columbia!" she tells him delightedly.

"You are not."

She hits his arm and laughs. "I am too, you idiot," she says fondly. "So, does that mean you're happy? You think it's a good decision?"

"I think it's a _great_ decision," he says emphatically.

They stand there for a minute, just smiling at each other, and her foot's bleeding onto the city sidewalk and she's breathless but she's clinging to him and she's all his for the next four years, so really, the moment is pretty perfect.

[xo]

"You…are disgusting," he tells her, bluntly but not unkindly, as they stroll around Columbia's campus late that evening. She's got his hooded sweatshirt on over her dress and a big bandage on one of her feet, and she's eating the icing she managed to convince him to buy for her on the way to the university.

Icing. Just icing. Straight from its container.

She rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "It's delicious. You know you want some." She dips her spoon back in and holds it out to him. He pretends to gag and shakes his head. She laughs. "So, are you excited about…all of this?" she asks, gesturing to the campus. "About going here?"

"Yeah, I really am," he tells her honestly. Even more so, now that she'll be with him, but he leaves that part out.

"Of course you are," she says with a grin. "You'll join the crew team and the lacrosse team and say _incredibly_ intelligent things in class and get sexy reading glasses…all the girls will adore you."

He doesn't care if all the girls adore me. He doesn't want all the girl to adore him. He wants _one_ girl to adore him, and she's the one who's talking like she's looking forward to all his crazy hook-ups in the future. He sighs and manages to match her smile, teasing, "I'm sorry, what was that? You lost me at _sexy_."

Giggling she shoves gently at his arm before digging her spoon back into her icing. They don't say anything more for a minute. The facts linger in between them. He loved her. She loved him. They got drunk. There was an empty bar. She was beautiful. He wanted her more than anything. The truth, the feelings they'd held back for long, bubbled up like the champagne did from the bottle they cracked open. They had sex. They've been together. There is a history between there, brief but so very significant.

He clears his throat and tries to move on to safer topics. "Really, Serena…you're not going to eat all of that, are you?"

"Well, when we bought it, I thought we'd share, but for some crazy reason you don't want any."

"Icing's too sweet on its own."

"Too sweet?" she gasps. "No such thing." Their footsteps slow down and they come to a stop on Columbia's campus, surrounded by buildings, under the stars. She turns to face him as she flips the spoon around, putting it in her mouth so that the back of it will make contact with the roof of her mouth. She pulls it out of her mouth slowly, licking the icing off, and blinks at him innocently. "You're _sure_ you don't want any?" she asks quietly.

"I'll try," he finally concedes, just as softly, and she scoops up some more icing with her spoon and holds it out, fully intending to feed him. He smiles and closes him mouth around the spoon, watching her watch him. As he swallows, they just look at each other. She sticks the spoon back in her little tub of icing and holds it in one hand.

Impulsively, he reaches down and takes her free hand. His movement is hesitant and probably stupid, but she grasps his fingers and slips each other hers between one of his, intertwining their hands.

"Good, huh?" she asks, and she sounds breathless for some reason.

Nate nods. "Very good," he murmurs.

She sighs and grips his hand a little tighter. "It's getting late. I should probably go home." She laughs lately. "I'm not sure how my living situation is going to work when school starts. You're not living in residence, are you?"

"No, I thought I might –" He stops short. "I, uh, I've been looking at apartments."

"Oh, cool, that sounds good. Anything close to here?"

"Yeah, actually…I found a really great one. It's big, but not huge. It's got great windows and a good view, and…I like it. It's different than what we're used to, obviously, but I really like it."

Serena giggles. "Since when do we like what we're used to?"

He laughs, too. "Point taken."

"That sounds _great_, Natie," she says earnestly, using her nickname for him. "I'm happy for you. I wish I could get that lucky."

He stares at her for a moment, trying to decide what to say. He thinks he should just agree with her and grab a cab to drive her home, but then he feels the way her hand is perfectly linked with his, remembers that she didn't pull away from him earlier. He remembers the smile on her face when she sought him out that afternoon, insisting that she had to tell him first, and he takes the plunge:

"So move in with me."


	4. 3x04: An Apartment in Manhattan

**A/N: **You guys know I spoil you, right? ;) Your reviews have been wonderful; thanks very much and keep 'em coming!

**3x04**

**[Once Upon a Time in an Apartment in Manhattan]**

"So move – what? Nate. What?" She's making that cute face of hers that she always made when she was doubtful in an amused sort of way, all scrunched up but still gorgeous. She laughs lightly. "What?" she repeats, unable to come up with anything else to ask.

"Move in with me," he repeated even more strongly, giving her hand a squeeze.

"I can't just…move _in_. With you," she says haltingly.

"Why not?"

"Nate," she breathes uncertainly, almost like a warning, but not a serious one.

"You _can_. We're going to the same school. It'll be great. I've got the space. You need somewhere to live. We're friends. It makes all kinds of sense."

"But…" She trails off because she doesn't have any excuses. In fact, it seems like one of the best ideas she's ever heard. Living with Nate. It would be sort of perfect. Nonetheless, she feels like she should protest – maybe some of those decorum classes she was forced to take year after year actually made an impact after all.

"But nothing. Unless…" He pauses, his eyes twinkling with mischief even though he feels a momentary sense of discomfort.

"Unless what?" she asks quietly, as if she's hurt by the fact that he's admitting there's a flaw in this plan of his.

"Unless Carter would have a problem with it." He's goading her but he's also a little bit petrified of her answer.

But she's the same as she's always been; he knows her just as well. He's flooded with relief when she juts out her chin in the same stubborn move she used when she was a little girl. "So _what_ if he has a problem with it? He's not in charge of me or my decisions."

"So he won't care that you'll be living with your…" He trails off. He has absolutely no clue what he is to her.

"It doesn't matter," she says decisively. "We're friends. We've always been friends." She smiles. "I would love to move in with you, Nathaniel Archibald."

They hold on to each other's hands for an extra moment as they smile at one another, and when they let go she eats another spoonful of icing, licking her lips and smiling at him afterward, and he wants to tell her that she had him at _love_.

[xo]

"Your mom said what, exactly?" Nate asks laughingly as they trudge up the stairs to their new, shared apartment.

Serena shrugs, adjusting her grip on the box she carries. "She thought I was crazy, but that's nothing new. I think she'd rather have me at home where she can keep an eye on me, but of all the people I could live with, I'm pretty sure she's glad I picked you. Besides," she huffs, setting the box down in front of the door and shaking out her arms, throwing him a bittersweet smile. "She can always sic a PI on me if she feels it's necessary."

He returns her smile with a gentle one of his own. "Lily wouldn't do that."

"Yeah, I hope not," she sighs. Glancing at the door, her smile grows wider. "Is this it?"

"Yeah. I'll find the key in second," he replies, still trying to catch his breath. The day of their move in, would, of course, coincide with the day of elevator repairs. They've got hired movers who will have to deal with bringing their larger items up the stairs, but for some crazy reason, they both thought it was important to bring their first boxes into their first apartment, like a right of passage or something. It doesn't really matter why, it just matters that it was what they both wanted.

As Nate searches his pockets for his key, he asks, "So, uh, what was Carter's reaction?"

Her lips twist slightly. "He wasn't exactly…pleased. But he wants me to do what's right for me, and I think this is it. He really is a good guy, Nate, I promise you. And it's not like we'll be sharing a bed," she jokes, and then hurriedly, adds, "And it's not like it would matter if we were. Because we're not…" She trails off and smiles breathily. "Wanna let us in, already?" she teases, moving the conversation back into more comfortable territory.

"I kind of have a confession," he admits nervously.

"Kind of?" she asks sceptically, one of her eyebrows flying up as she plants a hand on her hip. She's so cute in her little moving outfit, one of his old t-shirts tied in the back so that it fits closer to her body and a pair of bright red shorts, her hair windswept and sticking to her cheeks. "Okay, let's here it."

"I bought this place a while ago, and I couldn't get a hold of my realtor, and I honestly don't know…if there's one bedroom or two." He winces as he awaits her reaction.

She giggles and he realizes that he's forgotten who he's dealing with. Maybe she's no longer the party girl she once, maybe she's got a boyfriend, maybe she's a bit more serious, but she's still his Serena, and she doesn't give a damn about how many bedrooms there are. She just shrugs. "So we'll get two beds. Or hell, we can share a bed, Nate. It's not like we haven't been doing it since we were about two years old." She punches his arm affectionately, just because. It feels a little bit like she needs to touch him.

He chuckles hesitantly. "Yeah, I guess that's true." He sticks the key in the lock and twists, covering the doorknob with his hand. "You ready?"

Serena nods excitedly, her eyes sparkling. She looks like she did right before the ninth birthday surprise party that she knew about, because it's kind of hard to keep a secret from this girl. He swings the door open and gestures for her to step inside first.

She walks around slowly, taking it all in. The windows are big and beautiful, letting lots of light in, the way she likes it. It's spacious but not overwhelmingly so. She notes the door open doors which reveal empty rooms and her heart sinks just a little bit. She doesn't know why she's disappointed that there are two bedrooms; they're friends, she and Nate, nothing more. And it should stay that way. They will, however, have to share a bathroom, which promises to be interesting. The kitchen looks like it's the right size for however much cooking they'll do, and she's sure they'll spend most of their time in the main room. She can see it already, filled comfortably with their things and clothes and books.

She turns to face him, smiling brightly, and hugs herself. "I love it," she tells him, exuding honesty. "It's _home_."

[xo]

Carter calls and asks her how the place is. She babbles on about its perfection and he sounds happy for her. He asks if he can take her out to dinner, but she tells him that she should probably unpack all evening. He accepts that graciously and even offers to come help. Jokingly, she tells him to stop being such a perfect guy and go to a strip club or something. She promises that she'll be all his tomorrow night and blows him kisses through the phone.

When she hangs up, she's smiling, but Nate isn't.

[xo]

"Darling," Blair greets her boyfriend when she finds him in his office at Bass Industries. It's probably the last thing she never thought she'd call him, but it slips from her lips easily, like it's the way it was always meant to be. She hands him a cup of his favourite coffee and leans down to give him a lingering kiss.

He smirks at her when she pulls away because he's Chuck Bass and says simply: "Not enough."

Blair rolls her eyes and takes the coffee from his hands, setting it on his desk, and perched on his lap, legs crossed in the red tights she knew he loved. "_Speaking_ of my…wonderful…stepfather, he and my mother wanted to know if you'd be interested in coming over for dinner tonight."

He arches a single eyebrow. "Dinner with your mother and Cyrus?" he asks, and it is unclear what, exactly, he thinks about that.

She touches his face tenderly as his hand lands on her thigh. She smiles in the way that always gets to him, sweet with sultriness underneath. "I promise dessert with be sinfully good," she tells him mutedly, and then he's kissing her again.

"Count me in," he murmurs when they broke apart for air.

"Yeah? I know Erik's in the Hamptons with his grandmother this weekend, but I thought you might be spending some extra time with Lily and Serena before school starts up."

He smiles slowly. "You don't know?"

"I don't know what?" she asks hurriedly, hating to be without crucial information – and this is exactly that, she can read his facial expression with the ease of familiarity. He didn't speak, just kept on smiling at her, and she rolls her eyes fondly. "I love you," she tells him, because those are the magic words.

"Serena…is moving in with Nate."

"_What_?" Blair squeals, insulted that her best friend would not bother to tell her this juicy piece of information. "But she came back with Carter!"

Chuck nods. "She's still with Carter. Nathaniel told me that it's just because they're both going to Columbia. And that it's strictly on a friendship basis."

"They're both going to Columbia?!"

He nods once more. "Apparently Serena didn't want to go to Brown."

"She is such a _spaz_," Blair seethes, but there's something affectionate in her tone. Though Serena drives her crazy sometimes, she's Blair's best friend for a lot of reasons that are ingrained in that multi-faceted personality of hers. "I cannot _believe_ she didn't tell me…" She stops short and shakes her head. "I'm sorry – did you say they're _living together_ just as friends?"

"I did."

Blair rolls her eye dismissively. "When are those two going to get it together?" she mutters. She's sick of them and their denial. It's been going on for years. She's been trapped in the middle of it, for God's sake. She glances downward and sighs before hesitantly meeting Chuck's eyes. "Do you think there was ever a day that Nate didn't love her?"

He pulls her a little closer, letting her rest her head against his shoulder. "Honestly, no." He lets those words sink in for a moment before he kisses her forehead like an apology for something he didn't do and says, "But there was also never a day when I didn't love you."

And there they are, those three little words that she will never, ever get tired of hearing from his mouth, and they make everything okay.

[xo]

"_All the riches, baby, won't mean anything. All the riches, baby, won't bring what your love can bring…don't need no other, baby; your lovin' is better than gold and I know!_"

Nate laughs, unable to stop, as he and Serena collapse back on the air mattress laid out on the floor and both reach for the pizza box. This was not how he expected the evening to go, but he's definitely not complaining. There's something unbeatable about it. Their things are unpacked all around them, they're sitting on the mattress they bought that afternoon and blew up themselves with a bicycle pump, they're listening to Gwen Stefani turned up nice and loud, signing along. They're eating takeout and dancing around their brand new living room in their pyjamas and this is exactly why he's always loved her best.

Her long legs are exposed by her shorts she wears and her hair is loose and he's missed her and her off-key singing so much. He's just wearing a pair of boxers and the camisole she wears is kind of lacy, but he's managed not to stare too much and even though it probably looks like a lot more, things are completely innocent between them.

"I'm glad we decided to stay here tonight," she says as she catches her breath and takes another bite of her slice of pizza. They could have easily gone home to their massive apartments with lots of furniture and not-so-ratty clothes and bathtubs with actual shower curtains, but they're free and they're with each other and they just want to enjoy it.

"Me too," he agrees quickly as _Hollaback Girl _begins to play in the background.

Serena looks at him for a moment, his boyish smile, pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth, his perfect face, his incredibly toned chest which she's been trying hard to ignore. Maybe they missed their chance. They _did_ miss their chance. But Nathaniel Archibald is _something_ to her, and she'll never escape that. Blair always threw around the word _always_ when she was talking to him about love, but Serena thinks it belongs to her, to them: Nate and Serena. Then, now, and probably forever, and possibly even after that, if any such thing exists. That's _always_.

Impulsively, she leans across the space between them, the air mattress squeaking in protest as she shifts her weight too quickly, and presses her lips to his cheek. It was meant to be sweet and friendly and simple, but it feels more intimate than that. There are sparks between them, undeniable sparks that make her ache for more than just kissing his cheek.

She takes a deep breath as she pulls away from him, trying to get her bearings, and plasters on a cheerful expression. "Welcome home, roommate," she says as casually as she can, trying to re-establish that fact that this is a friendship, just a friendship.

He grins at her, almost like he understands what she's feeling, and blurts, "This shit is bananas."

Serena bursts out laughing and they fall into that easiness again; unspoken, just-barely-touched love. "_B-A-N-A-N-A-S_," she sings.

[xo]

They watch _The Lion King_ on his laptop because it was the only DVD they could find and they loved it when they were little kids. They're sprawled out on the mattress wrapped up in mismatched sheets and each other, and she laughs in all the right places and cries when Scar kills Mufasa. Nate pulls her into his arms, wrapping her up all securely, and that's how they fall asleep before the movie's even over. Her whole body feels tingly and her whole self feels safe and she wonders why everyone she knows has so much material crap if this is all that happiness really is.


	5. 3x05: The Gift of You

**A/N: **This chapter pretty much wrote itself and wouldn't stop, so it's a little longer, which makes me happy. :P I've always been wordy. Your feedback has been great, I adore you for it and I hope you keep it up! Enjoy.

**3x05**

**[The Gift of You]**

"This is it!" Serena says proudly as she and Blair walk in through the door of her new home, their arms loaded down with shopping bags.

Her tone screams _ta-da!_ but Blair Waldorf is even less than unimpressed. Her lips twist into a grimace as she looks around. "S., you're really going to live…_here_…for the next year? _Really_?" She looks so concerned that it's almost maternal.

"Yep," Serena says calmly, hiding her smile.

Blair tip-toes through the mess in her heels, hesitantly plucking at the occasional item. "Serena," she says delicately, like she doesn't want to insult her friend but she doesn't see how _not _to. "There is _stuff_ everywhere," she hisses, eyes wide.

"I know, B.," Serena replies patiently. "Nate and I _put_ it there."

"You need a Dorota," Blair says seriously, her face the picture of devastation.

"We do not," she scoffs even as she laughs, leading Blair over to the couch to sit down. "It's brand new. Free of vermin. I promise," she teases when she sees her friend hesitate.

Blair rolls her eyes and takes a seat at Serena's side. "Listen. I'm really glad we're going to be in same city this year. But you'll be at Columbia and I'll be at NYU and we won't see each other as often, so can I please do one last thing for you?"

"No one's dying here," Serena says lightly, reaching for her friend's hands and giving her a soft smile.

"I know…but it'll be different. It'll be me and Chuck. And you and Nate. Separated for the first time. And you're my sister and I love you…so just let me do something for you." She smiles prettily. "Okay?"

"Of course, B., anything."

Blair grins and squeezes her hands. "Let me throw you guys a housewarming party."

Serena pulls her hands back so that she can bury her face in them. "Oh, B., _no_," she groans as she resurfaces.

"But _Serena_," Blair whines. "You just said I could do _anything_!"

"Anything _but_ that. Blair, I can think of a million things I'd rather do than invite those crazy mean girls and our snobby families over here!"

"I'm doing this for your _own good_," Blair insists.

"Buh-_lair_," Serena cries, but she knows it's too late. Blair's set on this, and her attentions are, at heart, good.

"Don't worry about anything." Blair pats her knee. "I'll take care of invitations and flowers and caterers –" she scowls at the face Serena makes " – and all you have to do is…clean!" she finishes brightly.

"This isn't formal! This is just…we're going to university together! We just happen to be living in the same place! Who cares where that place is? Who cares what it looks like?" She's rambling, but she's desperate.

"I do this because I care," Blair promises her primly as she stands. "And so everyone can bring you some presents that'll actually make this place look…well, not good exactly, but _better_." She leans down, planting a kiss on the crown of Serena's head as they defeated blonde stays slumped on the couch. "I'll call you with the details, S."

[xo]

Nate arrives home from his run not long after Blair leaves, and Serena's still stuck on the couch. When he walks through the door, turning his ipod off, he sees her pouting on the couch and frowns. "What is it?"

She looks at him with those big blue eyes that he can't resist and asks plaintively, her voice very small: "Do you think our apartment's ugly? Do you think it's a disaster zone?"

He shakes his head emphatically. "I think it's great."

Serena's lips curve upward and she stands from her curled-up position on the couch, walking over to him slowly and throwing her arms around him without preamble. He mumbled something about being sweaty but she didn't care as she buried her head into his shoulder. He didn't smell bad. He smelled like Nate-after-running, and it was comforting, as were his words, which were exactly what she'd needed to hear.

[xo]

"I've been waiting for you," Chuck tells Blair as she walks into his suite.

She glances over at him, assesses the look in his eyes, and shakes her head regretfully. "Well, you're going to have to wait a little longer, because I have a party to plan."

"What party?" he asks, intrigued, walking over to her and kissing her forehead, his lips lingering against her temple.

"Serena and Nate's housewarming party," she tells him. "Their place is a disaster."

He chuckles. "It's Serena and Nathaniel," he says, as if that makes it obvious, and it does.

"It needs to be more…home-y. It needs to represent them both, rather than just being a mess of their stuff." She's watched all of their parents renovate enough to have a fair amount of knowledge in interior design.

Chuck observes her for a moment before he finally says, "You're treating them like a couple."

"And hopefully they'll learn," she says dryly, scrolling through the contacts in her phone to find her favourite caterers and florists.

"So, do I need to buy a gift for this housewarming party?"

Blair shakes her head, winking at him. "Leave that to me."

He gives her a long, hard look. "What do you have planned?"

"Something utterly, disgustingly cheesy that will push them in the direction of finally effing realizing that they're never going to be over one another."

Chuck nods. "That's my girl." Leaning in close to her, he places a hand on her hip and says, "You're so sexy when you scheme."

Blair smirks, batting his hand away as she holds her phone up to her ear. "Good things come to those who wait," she whispers, and hurries out of the room to plan the perfect party.

[xo]

Lily kisses both Nate and Serena's cheeks when she arrives, easily slipping into the crowd of Upper East Side residents dressed in autumn colours. "Nate; Serena, darling. I am _so_ glad you decided to have this little house-warming party." She smiled serenely at them both. "You needed it."

Serena sighs and reminds herself to be a good hostess. She laughs lightly and kisses her mother's cheek. "Thanks, Mom," she says as Lily hands a lace-trimmed envelope to Nate. Serena's got no doubt that it contains the receipts for the many things her mother purchased for them, all of which will undoubtedly be delivered promptly within the next two days.

"Thanks, Mrs. Bass," Nate echoes with his sweetest smile.

She's charmed instantly – Lily has always loved him. He's always been the good boy, always adored her daughter, even when he was with Blair or Serena was off doing something crazy. "It's Lily," she tells him gently, and the she spots someone she knows and expertly weaves her way away from them, through the crowd.

"Hey," someone says through a cough.

She whirls around to see Dan standing there, looking a little bit awkward but more comfortable than he would have been in the same situation a year ago, Vanessa at his side and a brightly-wrapped gift in his hands.

"Hey," she blurts at the same time as Nate does, and they exchange quick, private smiles that don't go unnoticed by the Brooklyn residents facing them.

Dan holds out the gift to Serena, arms stiff. "Happy…house," he says lamely, his lips curling up at one corner in what's almost a smile.

"Thanks!" she chirps earnestly, accepting the box.

"It'll probably be our best present," Nate contributes, smiling at both Dan and Vanessa like the moment is completely normal.

It occurs to Serena in that uncomfortable, not-normal moment how very, very _couple-y_ this all feels. She and Nate are hosting this unwanted get-together with all the perfection of a young, upper-class, Ivy League couple just waiting to get out there and conquer the world, hand in hand. She feels a little like the girl Blair used to be, and in a way it makes her happy because when Nate was with Blair Serena had always wished it'd been her instead, but it also horrifies her, because she's not _that girl_.

Frantically, she searches for brown hair in the crowd, short black dress, trademark headband. She stares at Blair until the brunette feels the pressure of her gaze and turns around. Blair tilts her champagne glass in a congratulatory gesture, smiling sweetly, her eyes sparkling. Chuck's hand is resting on her back and they look pretty couple-y themselves.

Serena continues to glare at her best friend. "Excuse me," she murmurs, handing the gift over to Nate and leaving Dan behind without a second thought, because she's now come to terms with the fact that just because he loved her when she was lonely and a little lost, he's not her soulmate or anything.

She greets her guests politely and thanks them before dragging Blair off. "Is this a set-up?" she demands.

Blair rolls her eyes, yanking her arms out of Serena's grasp. "It's a _party_. For you, might I add."

"For me and Nate," Serena corrects her.

Her best friend _beams_, even though the corners of her lips are turned downward. "Yes," she says, as though she's proud of Serena for some reason. "For you _and_ Nate. Now have fun, okay?"

"But –" Serena stops short; Blair is heading back toward Chuck before she can say another word. She sighs.

"You okay?"

She starts, her shoulders jumping upward, and lays a hand over her heart as she turns around to face Nate. "Yeah, fine. I'm fine. I just…" She reaches out and touches his wrist, pulling him a bit closer to her. "I'm sorry, but does this feel like it's our…engagement party…or something?" she questions him, wincing.

Nate glances around, careful not to give anything away in the way he looks. He's well aware of how easily she can read him. "Kinda, yeah," he laughs, but his smile fades into a more neutral expression as he looks at someone behind her. "Less so now that your boyfriend's here," he says gently.

Serena spins around, releasing his wrist. "Carter!" she calls, softly and warmly, and darts across the room toward him. He's carrying a classily wrapped gift and wearing the smile she thinks he might just reserve only for her.

She's never been one for social etiquette, and so there's nothing stopping her from going over, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissing him languorously. She's missed him. It's felt strange without him, like she's been pretending to be Nate's girlfriend again.

Whether she's fooling Gossip Girl or she's fooling him or she's fooling herself, pretending to be Nate's girlfriend always break her heart in some way. (There it is again: _always_.)

"I have been neglecting you lately," she says with an apologetic pout, arms still wrapped around him as she meets his eyes.

"You've been busy," he shrugs, but she can tell that it's been bothering him a bit.

"Not anymore," she promises, looking him straight in the eye. She leans in and gives him another quick kiss before stepping away from him and slipping her hand into his. "Come sit down with me."

Blair gives them a dismissive look as they walk past her. "PDA, S., really?" she murmurs.

Serena scowls at her but that doesn't deter Blair one bit – Blair has never been one to be deterred. She calls out to all the guests and directs Nate to sit next to Serena and announces that she's going to make a toast.

"_Blair_," Serena hisses. Carter's got his arm around her and she's leaning into him and why, why, _why_ is her best friend acting like she's her maid of honour or something?

"Relax, S., I won't tell any embarrassing stories or anything," she says with a sugary-sweet smile, and all of Serena and Nate's guests laugh appreciatively. Blair pauses for dramatic effect and then says, "Or maybe I will." She winks at Serena and continues, "I've known Serena and Nate – and Chuck – for a really long time. My earliest memories include all three of them. We're really great friends, all of us, even though we've had our ups and downs and some relationship mix-ups." She allows a moment for polite tittering. "I wanted to have this party for them because I know I won't be seeing as much of them next year when we've got busy lives and separate sides of the city, but I want them to know how much I – _we_, Chuck and I – care about them both. We always will. To give them a little something to remember us by, if you will."

Blair rolls the stem on her champagne flute between her index finger and thumb lazily, still wearing her perfect smile. "We used to have sleepovers, when we were really young, all four of us. We'd all just collapse into someone's bed like puppies and our parents always laughed at us, but we loved it that way. And I always woke up first." She hesitates for a split second before forging on, "I remember one morning, I opened my eyes, and I saw that Serena and Nate were cuddled up together, sharing a teddy bear." Everyone coos over this statement and Serena feels her cheeks heating up. "And I thought, even then, though maybe not at the same level, that they had something really precious in one another. Because Chuck and I wouldn't have shared our teddy bears if you'd threatened us," she says with a sage shake of her head, and everyone laughs once more.

Blair raises her glass. "What I mean to say is that even if this year sees our foursome split into two pairs for a majority of the time, I feel safe in knowing that they have each other. Because whatever that precious thing was…it's still there." She quirks her eyebrows in an intentionally adorable gesture. "To Nate and Serena, their new home, and their year together at Columbia!"

Everyone applauds and drinks and Blair preens as Chuck sidles up to her and whispers something in her ear and just as Carter kisses her, Serena feels Nate's hand touch her knee, and all of a sudden she wonders if _always_ is the most precious version of _love_, because the thought jumps to her mind and she's not sure who that heart-racing feeling is meant for.

[xo]

After most of the guests have left and it's just their closest friends lazing around their new space, Nate stands in the kitchen doing tequila shots and laughing with Chuck. Blair's around somewhere, and Carter and Serena are alone in the living room, cuddled up close together on the couch and kissing in between whispers. Nate's positioned himself so that he doesn't have to look that way.

[xo]

"I missed you," Carter murmurs, kissing her hair, her forehead, her nose, and then her lips. "Every bit of you."

"Careful, Baizen," she warns him quietly, her eyes sparkling as her fingers trace the line of his jaw. "You might be turning into a romantic."

"Maybe, for you," he concedes with more ease than she would have expected from him.

She can feel herself beginning to blush. "You've been perfect to me this summer. Better than anything I could have asked for."

"It's not just about that," he says seriously. "I mean, I'm so glad to help you out, but…it's not just about finding your father. It's about more than that for me, you know?"

"I didn't really know," she admits carefully. She's a little bit fearful of where this is headed, but it's the good kind of fear, the sort that's mostly composed of excitement.

"Now you do," he says mutedly, tucking her hair out of her face so tenderly that it makes her heart melt. "I…" He sighs, takes a deep breath, and starts again – she understands that this is difficult and waits patiently.

"I think I might be falling in love with you, Serena."

She doesn't know what to say. She just stares at him with lustful-but-adoring eyes and tries to form a response. She doesn't know if she can say the same, or less, or more. She just knows that it feels pretty amazing to hear.

It turns out that she doesn't have to respond, because he leans in and kisses her, and she just melts into him.

[xo]

Blair shakes her head when she sees Serena and Carter lip-locked on the couch. She's tired of it already. Carter Baizen is not necessarily a bad guy, and he's great in bed (she hates that she knows this, but fact is fact), but he is not _the_ man for Serena. Serena has probably always known who she's meant to be with, but she won't admit it for some reason. She's scared, is Blair's best guess, and it fits so well. Serena and Chuck are so similar. Fearless and reckless in the face of absolutely everything but those three little words. It baffles Blair. She, so scared of so much else, can say _I love you_ without all the internal conflict and suffering.

She doesn't want Serena and Nate to wait. They've been waiting forever. Blair knows from experience how awful waiting is. She wants this to be the year of joy, of discovery, of love, love, love. She does _not_ want this to be the year of Carter Baizen or, God forbid, Dan Humphrey take three hundred and seven. She realizes in the back of her mind that she might be taking out some of her previous exasperation and angst from everything with Chuck out on her best friend, but she's Blair Waldorf, and she doesn't care where she gets her revenge as long as the status quo is re-established in the end.

She marches over to Serena and Carter, arms crossed over her chest, and stares at them for a moment – there is definite tongue; she didn't need to see that – and clears her throat pointedly. When they break apart Serena's cheeks and pink and Blair knows that's not good because Serena's not a girl who blushes all that easily.

"I need a moment with my BFF, C.," she tells Carter snippily, waiting impatiently for him to move. "Go play with the boys," she says dismissively, and settles in next to Serena.

"_Blair_," the blonde practically growls.

"Oh, please. It's not like he won't be back. Once they're under your spell, they can't let go. Haven't you learned that by now?" she asks, arching one of her eyebrows pointedly.

"B.," Serena sighs, "I am _with_ him. Happily. It's a choice, and it's one that I'm satisfied with."

She groans. "You _cannot_ be falling in love with Carter Baizen. That's not…acceptable!"

Serena rolls her eyes. Blair wants everything to work out like the perfect storylines in a romantic old movie. "He's _good_ to me, Blair. We are…so good," she murmurs, marvelling at it. "And I really want you to stop interfering okay? I swear that he's _good_."

Blair looks at her with puppy-dog eyes and a sneaky smile. "But I'm better.'

She laughs in spite of herself and pulls the brunette into a bear hug. "Yes, you are," she agrees as their cheeks press together. "That toast was incredibly manipulative, but also incredibly sweet," she says, and they both giggle. She regards Blair for a moment before she asks quietly, "Was that the truth? Do you honestly remember that? Me and Nate and the teddy bear?"

She nods seriously. "I really do," she says solemnly, and then cracks a grin. "I was jealous as hell. I wanted that boy. _And _the bear."

Serena laughs and pulls her into another hug. "Thanks for this, Blair. It was kind of bitchy –"

"But you love me that way, and you loved this day," she brunette supplies knowingly. She fishes through her purse and hands Serena her gift. "This is from Chuck and I. Hang it up somewhere, okay?"

She nods. "Okay. Thanks, B."

Blair stands. "Chuck and I are going to head out now. I'll call you tomorrow, we'll have lunch soon."

Serena smiles. "Okay. You two have fun," she adds with a wink.

The brunette nods slowly. "You have a good night, too," she replies, adding mutedly, "With whomever you choose to spend it."

And then she's off, heels clicking against the floor in a rhythmic, dominating pattern, yelling for her boyfriend.

[xo]

Carter kisses her when her back's pressed up back against her bedroom door, and he murmurs something that sounds suspiciously like _love_ against the skin of her cheek, then her neck, and it's got her heart fluttering. Her room is fairly clean, she's got a bed now, complete with sheets, and here is this guy who has been terrific to her over the past couple months and every moment since, someone who's confessed that he's falling for her, and she's fairly sure she could be falling for him, too.

There shouldn't be anything holding her back. It's not like she and Carter haven't slept together before. It's not like falling for someone is truly anything new to her. And she's got her room all set up, her bed just waiting.

In another lifetime, even on another day, she'd ask him to spend the night.

But tonight she just can't. She tells him this and he looks hurt and she hates that, but she glosses it over as best she can with excuses about getting some sort of cold virus and how she and Nate have a million presents to unwrap, and she swears that she'll show up at his hotel room bright and early the next day, and they can go swimming in the pool and she'll dedicate all her time to him and they don't even have to leave his room if they don't want to. She gives him her sweetest smile and her coyest eyes, and he leaves reluctantly without much complaint, and it stabs at her heart because that's the moment that she realizes that he really does have strong, serious feelings for her.

She walks to the door of Nate's bedroom and swings it open without knocking. He glances up at her, wordlessly asking her what's going on. She leans against the doorframe and smiles. "Wanna sleep in the living room with me again?"

His brow furrows. "Did Carter leave?"

She nods and decides to say, "I told him to."

Nate doesn't question her reasons for this because they scare them both. Instead, he grabs a couple blankets off of his bed and they go through all the work of blowing up that air mattress again, and when they finish they unwrap all their pricey, mostly useless gifts and giggle with each other until the entire apartment's a mess and they're utterly exhaust.

As they lay next to one another, one their sides facing each other, drifting off to dreamland, Nate murmurs, "I remember that, you know."

She has to struggle to keep her eyes open. "You remember what?" she mumbles.

"The teddy bear's name was Ferdinand. He was my favourite. I loved him."

His fingers tangle with hers in the space between them as she stares at him incredulously, almost in awe. "So why'd you share him?" she manages to ask.

Nate smiles sleepily, his blue eyes closed. "Because you loved him, too," he says as if it's the world's most obvious statement, and it means a whole lot more than it should.

[xo]

She wakes up before he does in the morning, and the first thing her eyes land on is Blair's gift. In their mess of presents, most of which they have no desire for, it must have gotten lost away. She sits up next to Nate and reaches for it, tearing through the fancy wrapping paper recklessly.

The sight that greets her takes her breath away. It's a picture of her and Nate – well technically, it's of all four of them, Nate and Chuck and Blair and Serena – but Blair and Chuck have been cropped out so that it's just the two of them, Nate and Serena. It's the same as a photo she used to have on her cell phone, the one that she'd look at when she was crying in the middle of the night at boarding school, the one she thought she'd lost forever when she threw her phone away after that disaster brunch when she and Nate fought and Dan found out.

She _loves_ this picture, so very much, and it warms her heart to know that Blair understood that. This is a huge kind of forgiveness, a pushy kind of encouragement, the sweetest hint of what Blair wants for them.

She and Nate look beautiful. Untouched, unscarred, unbroken. They look a little bit like love.

There is something about that moment, frozen in time, that is impossibly…precious.

On the bottom, in professionally added script, it says:

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

She practically has to do a double-take. Blair Waldorf, have this picture of all picture embossed with Johnny Cash lyrics, of all lyrics? That means something, something bigger than her, bigger than them, something they might all be powerless to.

Serena scrambles off the air mattress and gets to work finding a hook so that she can hang it up. When she's finished, Nate's just waking up, and he wanders over to her with bedhead and bleary eyes, smelling like _Nate_ and the chocolate they ate before they slept.

"Wha's tha?" he murmurs in the sleepy-soft voice that make her knees feel weak.

"Blair's present," she answers softly, watching him look at him.

He smiles contentedly. "I remember that day. I've always loved that picture."

Her heart swells until it might burst out of her chest. "Me too," she agrees.

Faking extreme tiredness, he groans and leans into her, muttering things about the sun that make her smile to herself. He wraps an arm around her waist and buries his face against her neck, and she hates how long it's been since she and Nate have shared moments this good.

Of all the things they've gotten out of this apartment, the gifts their friends and family have bestowed on them, getting each other back is, by far, the very best part.


	6. 3x06: Confessions of a Society Girl

**A/N: **Sorry about the wait! I guess in this fic you might call that a hiatus. :)

**3x06**

**[Confessions of a Society Girl]**

"She's alive!" Nate cries teasingly when she steps into their apartment. He's sitting on the couch in a blue t-shirt and sweats, watching a soccer game. "I was beginning to think I'd have to send out a search party."

"I'm sorry," she says earnestly as she drops her purse by the door. She's doing a blatant walk of shame but it's not like that matters. She joins him on the sofa and kisses his cheek by way of apology.

Nate turns away from the game. "So what kept you MIA for the past three days?" He hesitates and makes the obvious guess: "Carter?"

Serena nods, a shy smile sneaking onto her lips. "Yeah."

He touches her hair, tugging lightly on a few strands like he used to when they were young. "You look happy, Serena."

She kicks off her shoes and curls up at his side, resting her head against his shoulder. "I am," she tells him softly, closing hers eyes. She needs a nap, and there's no better way to sleep than cuddled up to him.

[xo]

When she emerges from the bathroom after a much-needed shower in a gauzy white tank top and her cut-off shorts that her mother hates, Nate is rummaging through the kitchen cupboards noisily.

"Are you making me dinner, Mr. Archibald?" she calls out to him, teasingly, coquettishly.

He pokes his head out of the room so that their bright blue eyes can meet. "We start school the day after tomorrow."

She makes a face, comically, but she's honestly a little bit apprehensive. "I know. Crazy, right?"

"Yeah. So I think tonight is the night –" he pulls out a couple full bottles of liquor and her favourite chocolate-filled croissants "- to go up on the roof and get as drunk as we possibly can."

Serena beams at him, the toothy grin of her childhood. "I love how you think."

"Is that a yes?" he teases as he walks over to her.

She takes one of the bottles – it turns out to be her favourite kind of expensive champagne – from his hands and winks at him. "Since when do I say no to you?"

He cocks his head to the side and smiles and they pretend it wasn't a question with potentially serious answers. "Since _never_. Come on, grab a coat and let's go."

Serena rolls her eyes and she flounces out the door. "I don't need a coat."

"You'll freeze," he warns her with a playfully exasperated sigh.

She pauses in the doorway, turning back to him with glittering blue eyes. "Well, you'll just have to warm me up then, won't you?" she asks. She bats her eyelashes a couple times and disappears out of the apartment and into the hall, heading toward the stairs before he can respond, because neither of them really want to know what his reply would be.

[xo]

The air is cool on the rooftop, like he'd warned her it would be, and she whines instantly. He shrugs off his old St. Jude's lacrosse sweater, the back emblazoned with his last name and number, and drapes it around her body grudgingly. She sits down on the concrete roof without a second thought and pats the space beside her, giving him that winning smile that he can never stay angry with.

They drink straight from their individual bottles of alcohol, laughing at how completely their choice goes against ever rule of etiquette they were ever taught. They toast each other to whatever they can think of, to Chuck and Blair and their happiness, to spending the next year together, to almost bring college students, to drinking on a roof under the stars, to the end of their _innocence_ (Serena giggles because they lost their innocence to one another a long time ago), to the beginning of _responsibility_ (they both make faces and take extra-big gulps).

"Maybe I'm too stupid for Columbia," she blurts worriedly. Even though she's been complaining about the cold, she stretches out her legs and kicks off her shoes. Serena always becomes a contradiction when she's drunk, imperfect perfection.

Nate shakes his head. "You're not stupid. At all."

"What if I start to fail?" she protests.

"You won't." At her dubious look, he adds, "_If_ you do, I'll help you study. Don't _worry_. This is going to be a good year for you and me."

She frowns at the way he says that, like they're two different entities, people with wholly unattached lives. "Good year for us," she murmurs, correcting him.

"To a good year!" he declares boisterously, and they toast once more.

"I think I might be a little bit wasted," she admits with a sigh, as if this is some great tragedy.

"I think I might be a _lot_ wasted," he replies, and for some reason they both find this hysterically funny.

Serena leans against him as she laughs. Like most people, they get a little more touchy-feely when they're inebriated, but there are rarely physical borders between them in the first place. They've seen it all, they've done it all. They are free of secrets from one another.

They cuddle and they cheek-kiss and they'll hold hands or touch toes or each other's knees without reason or preamble, but they never cross any lines when they're sober and self-aware. They may not have secrets from each other, but they like to pretend that they do, that the truth isn't already out there in the open, waiting to be acknowledged. Nate tries to keep pretending as she leans in close to him, her whole side pressing up against his whole side. He can feel the curve of her hip and he can see down her shirt, but he's supposed to pretend he doesn't notice anything. She's his friend, maybe his very best friend, the most important girl in his life, and she's got a boyfriend.

He _hates_ that she's got a boyfriend.

"Serena," he sighs. "You know, about Carter –"

"Oh, Natie," she says mournfully, blue eyes wide. "Why don't you like him? _I_ like him," she points out needlessly.

"Yes, I've noticed that," he agrees, unable to help himself from chuckling a bit. She's so endearing when she's drunk, childish in ways that make him feel free and sexy in ways that make him feel trapped in the best sense. "But I think –"

"You know what _I_ think?" she asks anxiously. She sits up and smoothes her hair as she turns to face him, sitting on her knees. They're not touching anymore and she misses it. Whatever part of her that Nate touches always hums with energy, as if it's come alive. She gives him a serious look and says softly, "I think I might love him."

Nate chokes on his own saliva. "You _what?_" he cries.

"I think maybe I love him," she repeats, shrugging helplessly, as if Nate had only asked because he hadn't heard her the first time or something.

"You can't be in love with him," he protests. "It's too soon, Serena – how long have you two even been dating? He's…he's not good for you. He's older and manipulative and he only ever works for his own best interests. He can't be the guy for you."

"He's not _like_ that," she insists with quiet certainty that feels like a dagger plunging into Nate's heart.

"Does…did he say he loves you?"

She meets his eyes hesitantly, afraid of his reaction, but she finally nods. "He did, yeah."

"Serena, no…" He wants to wrap his arms around her and protect her and tell her and show her all the reasons she should be _his_, that he should be the one she falls in love with. He wants to yell at her for getting involved with Carter Baizen. He wants to kick his own ass for ever letting her get away.

"Don't look at me like that," she says, so softly. She sounds almost sober; her tone is nothing but serious.

"Like what?" he demands.

"Like you're judging me," she murmurs, staring at something in the distance. "I don't think you've ever really looked at me like that before."

"Serena…" he trails off, feeling like his heart has just cracked a little bit. "Hey." He reaches out, touches her chin gently, moving her face so that she has to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry. I'm not judging you, I swear."

She looks at him as if she's trying to make sure he's telling the truth, her deep blue eyes searching his. She takes a deep breath that feels like it gets stuck somewhere before it reaches her lungs. The way he's looking at her right now is nothing like judgment, nothing like it at all. She swallows hard. He's still touching her face. Reaching up, she places her hand softly over his, but she doesn't move it away.

"I think I have to tell you something," she whispers.

His thumb brushes her lower lip, barely skimming over it. Her hand is cupping his wrist and he wonders if she can feel the way his pulse jumps. "Anything. You can tell me anything."

Serena looks into the same eyes she used to see every time she and Erik showed up on his doorstep as little kids, the same eyes that met hers when they popped open a bottle of champagne in an empty bar at the wedding, the same eyes she met across a room when she came back to New York, the same eyes she never really wanted to stop staring into. She takes another deep breath. It seems like every time she's got secrets and champagne…he's there and he's beautiful.

"Carter's helping me with something," she says softly without breaking eye contact. "He, um…he's been helping me try to find…my dad."

Those eyes (those same eyes) widen considerably, and he opens his mouth as he sucks some air in. "Uh…wow. Your dad, huh?"

Serena nods.

"And that's, um…that's what you two have been doing together all summer?"

She shrugs. "Well, yeah. I mean, we're together, and I really do care about him, Nate, but…it started because of that. He told me he'd found him, that's why we left together."

"And…did you? Did you find him?"

She clenches her jaw and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, genuinely sympathetic. "I really am, about more than just this, about all these years…"

"I know," she cuts him off with a half-smile. "I know. Thank you."

He cups her cheek in his palm. "Okay. Do you…do you want to go back downstairs, and just go to bed?" He smiles gently. "We can sleep on the living room floor again, if you want."

Shaking her head, she returns his hesitant smile and gently pushes at his shoulder, jutting her chin outward slightly. He knows her body language almost as well as he does his own, and he knows that he should follow her lead, and he does just that until he finds himself lying on his back on the uncomfortable concrete roof, Serena cuddled into his side, his arms wrapped around her.

She sighs against his neck, her breath warm and sweet. "Let's just stay here for a while."


	7. 3x07: Saturday Night Love

**3x07**

**[Saturday Night Love]**

"Naaaaatie!" Her voice sounds musical as she calls out to him, stumbling through the door of their apartment. "I went shopping!"

"You did?" he asks laughingly, walking into their living room to see about eight grocery bags on the floor at her feet.

She nods, making her way through all the groceries and throwing her arms around his neck in a spontaneous hug. "Will you help me unpack all this stuff?"

"Do I have a choice?"

Grinning, she shakes her head. "Not at all."

[xo]

They stand next to one another as they regard all the food piled onto their counter, spilling out of their cupboards. Nate's got his arms crossed and Serena has her hands planted on her hips and they're wearing identical frowns.

"We have a lot of…packaged food," she muses.

"You should learn to cook."

She shoots him a look, arching one of her eyebrows. "I think _you_ should learn to cook, so we can break some stereotypes."

"_Or_," Nate suggests pointedly, "we could _both_ learn to cook."

Serena flashes him a cheeky grin as she sighs and shrugs. "I guess that would be fair."

"But for now…" He reaches into the mess of boxes and containers and cans and pulled out three. "Pop-Tarts, Eggos, or toast-able French toast?"

She shakes her head and clucks her tongue. "Natie, when will you learn?" She plucks one of the boxes out of his hands, ripping it open as she smiles at him. "All three!"

[xo]

Serena throws a pillow at him, giggling when it hits him in the face, as they settle in together on the couch amidst their school books and binders, carefully balancing their plates of Eggos, Pop-Tarts, and French toast.

"_Ah_," Serena sighs as she spears a piece of her syrup-covered Eggo waffle with her fork. She places her plate on her lap and pulls her hair into a messy bun, sticking a pen into it to fold it in place. She licks her lips and leans back. "This is how to live."

Nate watches her, mesmerized, feeling a little stunned as he observes her effortless way that she's so beautiful. He swallows and shakes his head a little bit to clear it and smiles at her before biting into a Pop-Tart. "Is this really how it's going to be this weekend? Serena van der Woodsen, sitting at home eating Pop-Tarts and reading actual books?" He makes a shocked face that has her rolling her eyes. "But what about the shopping? The partying? The liquor? The boys?"

She gives him her best imperious look. "For your information, Nate, I _went_ shopping, and I bought us all this wonderful food. I can't really afford to party this weekend because I've got an essay due on Tuesday – and besides, what am I gonna do, go to the same clubs and restaurants I always have? That just seems so…high school. As far as liquor goes, we've got Pop-Tarts, and those are just _so_ much better." She shrugs, looking over at him out of the corner of her eye. "Carter's spending time with his family this weekend since his parents _descended_ back on Manhattan – you know what they're like. And anyway…" She gives him that damn winning smile. "I've got you, haven't I?"

The self-assured way she says that almost annoys him, because she doesn't have him, at least not in the way he'd like. But at the same time, he knows she's got a right to be cocky about it, because if there is anything true about their relationship it is that she's _always_ had him.

"Yeah, you've got me," he agrees.

[xo]

"Give me back my pen!" she whines much later that night, well into the small hours of the morning.

"I like this pen. It writes smoothly," he says, examining it, purposefully, torturing her.

"But it's my _purple pen_," she huffs, slamming her book closed and giving him an irritated look. "You're _ruining_ my _system_."

His eyebrows fly up, still holding the pen out of her reach. She'll have to lunge across his body to get it if she wants it. "You have a system? Oh my God. Serena van der Woodsen, are you _colour-coding?!_"

Serena groans, pushing her hair out of her face and grabbing a nearby tube of lip gloss. He lectures himself not to stare as she applies it and then sighs, "I am. I do. I have a system. God, I'm lame, aren't I? I am turning into a _nerd_."

He can't help but laugh. "Maybe a little bit. But I thought the whole nerdy thing was _in_."

"Not when it's this _lame_," she says with a shake of her head. She tosses her books are their incredibly messy living room floor and stands, stretching her arms over her head so that he can see the skin of her stomach. "Nate, you and I can't be this lame. It's two a.m. on a Saturday night and we're…here. Eating Pop-Tarts. Studying. Fighting over pens."

"Hey." He frowns playfully at her. "Don't diss the Pop-Tarts."

With a dramatic sigh, she stands in front of him and leans toward him, bracing her arms against the back of the couch. "I'm sorry," she says earnestly, even though her eyes are glittering in a way he knows means she's feeling mischievous. "The Pop-Tarts should never be dissed. You're right. The Eggos, on the other hand…" Laughing, she straightens up, planting her hands on her hips. "I want you to get ready to go."

"Excuse me?" he asks, giving her a sceptical look.

"Come on!" she cries. "Put down those Eggos." She shoots him her best smile, scrunching up her nose. "Let's go have some _fun_."

[xo]

"Okay, I'm sorry, didn't you say this was _so high school_?" he asks her when they end up in a club full of people around their age moving to the music and gulping down drinks. He has to lean close to her when he speaks and she feels a shiver run up her spine.

"So what if it is, Natie?" she laughs. Clinging to his hand, she gives him a pointed look. "At least we weren't lame in high school. And I didn't leave _everything_ from high school behind. I've still got Pop-Tarts. And you." She scrunches up her face in that sweet way of hers that's supposed to show him that she's letting him in on a secret. "The really important stuff, y'know." She tugs on his fingers, leading him into the crowd. "Come and dance with me."

"Serena…" he sighs.

"Oh, come on." She shakes her head fondly. "You _know_ you want to." Playfully, she reaches out to touch his arms, then his hips, then his shoulders, trying to make him move.

"Okay, okay," he finally concedes with a teasingly huffy sigh, gently moving her hands from his body. She needs to stop touching him like that. "You drive me insane, you know that?"

"Whatever!" she laughs, her smile wide. "Nate, you know you love me."

She couldn't have picked a worse time to say those words. It's the exact moment when the music changes and a slower song comes on, and it feels awful, the way they're suddenly stuck in limbo, like they're at a sixth-grade dance or something. They could stop right now, they could go get a drink, they could laugh it off. She almost wants that, but the way he's looking at her makes her feel like she can't breathe, and she realizes she doesn't want to laugh it off. She's tired of laughing it off.

His hands land softly on her hips, hesitantly, but he pulls her close to him with that quiet, sexy confidence he's always possessed. He doesn't break eye contact and he nods at her as she slips her arms around his neck. "That I do," he agrees softly, and he could mean those words in so many ways that it makes her head spin.

As they dance, her hands move almost on their own accord. One rests on the back of his neck, her fingers slipping into the hair at the nape of his neck, and the other moves occasionally over his shoulder and his back as she steps the smallest bit closer, tucking her body into his a little more. He feels good and he smells good and she finds herself remembering what it's like to love him.

When she moves closer to him he holds her just a little tighter, like he completely understands. They know each other so well, so intimately. Her endings and his beginnings have been merged together over the years so that they can't keep track any longer. She's so grateful in that moment that she chose not to go to Brown, that she chose to live with him, that she chose to drag him out into the world for some fun tonight. She realizes, startlingly, that in the simplest way, it all comes down to the fact that she chose him. She chooses him. She always has, and she probably always will. _Always_.

Their same-shade blue eyes stay locked as she exhales. "This kinda does feel like high school," she murmurs, because she feels like she might burst if she doesn't do _something_, and speaking is the safest bet.

Nate grins like he can read her mind. "And that's a bad thing?"

"Not right now," she says, her voice dropping even lower. "Not at all."

"Yeah," he agrees, and his eyes break from hers, his gaze landing on her lips.

They loved each other. They hid it and they feared it and they denied it, but they both know that they started and ended high school loving one another, and those phases blend together the same way their very selves do.

She's breathless and it feels like she's magnetically drawn to him. She stops thinking as she presses her body even further against his. They're breathing the same air, inhale and exhale; quick, unsteady breaths of anticipation. She swallows and her lips part slightly and their mouths could meet right here, right now. His nose brushes against hers in the sweetest, most tender way, and she lets her eyes flutter closed.

He gets it together just before they kiss. He reminds himself that this is wrong. They've done this before and it's not fair to anyone, they live together and it'll be awkward, they've had and lost their chances, they've established such a good friendship… Sighing, he steps away from her abruptly, looking away and running a hand through his hair. She opens her eyes, staring at him in shock, almost like she's hurt. He wants to say _don't give me that face_ and he also just wants to kiss those lips. He clears his throat in this horribly awkward way that he knows for a fact she'd mock him for mercilessly under any other circumstances and mutters, "…sorry."

Serena blinks at him, trying to get her bearings. When he stepped away she felt like she lost a little bit of herself. She mirrors him unintentionally, sweeping a hand through her hair and pressing her lips together. "Don't be," she murmurs in reply.

It's only then that she realizes why he's apologizing. He's apologizing because she's got a boyfriend. She's got a boyfriend and it's not him. She bites her bottom lip and feels a rush of guilt. She regrets almost kissing Nate, but she also regrets not kissing him, and it makes her all teary-eyed and hopelessly confused.

He touches her elbow, a gesture that's almost protective, as another upbeat song begins to play. "We should go, right?" he asks, mouth close to her ear, but he avoids touching any other parts of her. "Let's go…okay?"

Serena nods, managing a smile. "Yeah. Let's go."

She doesn't reach for his hand as they slip back out into the night, and he doesn't make eye contact with her the whole time they're in the cab.

[xo]

Nate clears his throat in that awkward way again as he pulls off his coat once they enter their apartment. She shoots him a cute, baffled look and he feels a surge of relief – they're alright. Of course they are. They always make it okay somehow.

"So, uh…" He nods toward the clock, which tells them that it's nearly four-thirty in the morning. "Pulling an all-nighter two days before you have an essay due may not have been the best idea, huh?"

She shrugs and rolls her eyes. "It's no big deal. That's what college is about, right? And are you forgetting that it was my idea?" She laughs. Just barely, but it's genuine and it makes him smile.

"Still," he says. "I'm sorry."

Serena pauses in the doorway of her room, shaking her head slightly. She grabs one of the many opened boxes of Pop-Tarts, smirking softly as she thinks about all the times they ate those together, sitting on his kitchen counter. "Hey, Natie?" When he turns to him she throws him a silvery-wrapped package and gives him a gentle smile. "I don't want you to be sorry."

He looks at her for a long moment, his heart warming after she called him _Natie_. "I…I'm not," he finally admits, carefully because he's not sure what comes next, but easily, because it's the truth. "I'm not sorry. Though I am kinda sorry for not being sorry…"

"_Nate_," she breathes, a grin springing to her lips.

He chuckles. "Sorry," he teases, and then says earnestly, "Really. I'm…not sorry."

Just before she closes her door, she nods as well, looking satisfied.

"Neither am I," she says.


	8. 3x08: Is This Goodbye, Carter Baizen?

**A/N: **Very quick update this time. I only got five reviews for the last chapter so far, but this was written, so I figured…why not? I'm glad you guys are enjoying this so far. :)

**3x08**

**[Is This Goodbye, Carter Baizen?]**

Almost two weeks after Serena dragged Nate out dancing at two o'clock on a Saturday night, Carter shows up on campus, waiting for her after her Intro to Literature Analysis class. Leaning back against one of the brick buildings, roses in hand, he looks like something out of a movie.

"Hey, you," she greets him happily, accepting the flowers from his hands and leaning in for a long, luxurious kiss. "You're so sweet, surprising me like this."

He looks at her regretfully and her smile falls away.

"This isn't a good surprise, is it?"

"Serena, I'm so sorry," he says immediately, shaking his head.

"Why?" She touches his arm. "What is it?"

He inhales and then sighs. "I have to go."

"Go?" she asks, arching one of her eyebrows.

"Back to Dubai. You know my parents were in town, right?" His lips curve into a bitter smirk. "I don't really have a lot of choice in the matter."

She shakes her head. "You're _you_. You always have a choice."

"Serena…" He cups her face in his hands and looks at her sadly and with so much affection. "I wish so much that I could blow this off and just stay here with you, I really do, but I've got responsibilities – and not just to my family. I've got to go."

"Okay," she says in a small voice. "For…how long?"

"I honestly don't know," he says quietly, as if lowering his voice will soften the blow.

"Oh." She blinks, unsure of what to say next. She used to be the heartbreaker, but lately it feels like every guy she really falls for is breaking her heart instead.

"I'm so sorry."

"What does…what does this mean for us?"

He sighs once again and smiles, tucking her hair out of her face. "A long distance relationship from Manhatten to Dubai seems a little crazy, doesn't it?"

She bites the inside of her bottom lip and tries to return his smile as she shrugs helplessly. "I like crazy."

"Serena." The way he says her name is like a gentle let-down, but he's smirking, too, like he's proud of her stubbornness.

"I'll miss you," she replies tightly, staring down at the roses she holds.

"I'll miss you, too. And I promise to keep you updated on anything I can find out."

She grips his arm tighter and looks him in the eye, glaring. "Being with you has _not_ just been about finding my father," she says fiercely.

"I know," he tells her soothingly. "But I'll keep you updated anyway, okay?"

Blowing out her breath, she nods. Her chest feels tight.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

She shakes her head, attempting another smile. "No. No, I'm fine. I might just walk around for a while."

"You'll be careful?"

"As careful as I ever am," she says, winking at him.

He laughs appreciatively, kissing her forehead. "You'll be okay. Nate will take care of you. I mean," he adds hurriedly, "you don't need taking care of, but…he'll be there. And you'll be okay." Before she can process what he's said, before she can even begin to think of a response, he kisses her hard, like he's trying to commit her to memory. "_I love you_," he says simply, pressing his lips to hers one last time, and then he's walking off and slipping into a limo, disappearing from her life.

[xo]

Nate knows something's wrong the moment he walks into their apartment, though it wouldn't take a genius to figure it out. Serena's sitting on the floor on the far side of the living room, a pillow tucked under her knees, roses in her lap and tears on her cheeks.

"Hey," he says simply and softly, worry swelling up in his chest.

"_Hey_," she replies when she's torn from her trance, looking over at him. She wipes her cheeks and scrambles to her feet, trying to smile at him. "Hey, how was your day? Do you want some food? We agreed to learn to cook, remember?"

He looks her over, concerned. She's babbling a bit. "Serena, you're crying. Screw talking about my day; we can eat later. What's going on?"

"It's nothing." She sighs, her shoulders sagging a bit when she sees that he won't let her get away with that. "It's just…Carter and I broke up."

His heart seems to jump and sink at the same time. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it? Tell me what happened?"

She shrugs again, trying to convince him, and maybe herself, that it's not a big deal. "He has to go back to Dubai." Her shoulders shake and her lips quiver.

Nate paces across the room and pulls her into a warm, protective hug; he could never stand that broken face she tries not to make.

[xo]

"So much for learning to cook, huh?" he asks laughingly. They're sprawled out on the couch eating pizza straight from the delivery box.

"Overrated anyway," she says, smiling softly. She's still got tear tracks on her cheeks, so she doesn't look all that happy.

Nate reaches over, resting his hand on her knee. "Do you want to talk about this? About what happened?"

Serena sighs, dropping her half-eaten slice back in the box. "It's not his fault. He has to go. I understand that. I just…I really care about him. He's been with me through a lot. I'll miss him." She pauses, swallows hard, and then divulges, "He told me he loves me. He said that."

"Can't blame the guy," Nate says, squeezing her knee lightly as he tries for levity.

She looks over at him with those tragic eyes. "I didn't say it back. He said _I love you_ and then he was gone. And I guess I really _could_ have said it back, even if he left so fast…but I didn't."

"I'm sure he knows anyway, Serena. You don't have to say it for someone to know."

She takes a deep breath as she regards him, and then murmurs, "Yeah, I guess you don't."

Nate clenches his teeth and pulls his hand back. He hadn't meant to complicate her life, not right now.

"Maybe I don't love him," she whispers, picking at stitching on the edge of the blanket that covers her legs. "Maybe I didn't say it back because I don't love him. Maybe I just really wanted to."

[xo]

Serena sniffles, burying her face in Nate's shoulder. "That's so _romantic_."

"It's just a movie," he sighs.

She sits upright just so she can scowl at him. "It's not _just_ a movie. It's _Love Actually_, and it's amazing, and this is my favourite part," she adds, waving toward the screen. Reaching over him, she grabs the remote so that she can rewind. "And, by the way, you volunteered to watch this with me so I could be sad." Pressing play again, she settles back into his side, cuddling close. "How are you not affected by that? He loves her, but she loves his best friend, so he just stands back and watches them get married, and then he shows up on her doorstep with those _signs_ because he still loves her and he just wants her to know that he thinks she's _perfect_…" She's got tears swimming in her eyes again.

"I guess that is romantic," Nate mutters, his fingers getting all tangled up in her wavy blonde hair.

She nods as her favourite part ends. "Of course it is. He's sacrificing what he wants and his own happiness, because he loves her and he wants her to have her own happiness."

Life imitating art, he can't help but think. Or maybe art imitating life.

Serena sits up a bit again and he misses the feeling of her body pressed against his. "Are you _crying_?" she gasps, jaw dropping as she grins at her, her first very real smile of the day.

"_No_," he blatantly lies. He can't help it. It _is_ romantic, and it is sad, and he feels bad for that poor guy.

"Aw, Natie," she coos. She leans close to him and presses her lips to his cheek, licking a teardrop away. She leans into him, giving him a playful look. "It's _just a movie._"

Shaking his head, he moves his body toward hers, easily overpowering her and pinning her lightly to the couch as he tickles her. "It's _Love Actually_, Serena, and this is my _favourite part_," he mimics her.

Laughing breathlessly, she reaches for his hands, trying to make him stop. His fingers sneak under her shirt and to her ribs, her most ticklish skin, and he feels immeasurable success at the sound of her giggling, at having made her happy once again.

"_Nate_," she gasps out, "Please…"

He stops moving his hands and they stay there frozen for a moment. Her chest is heaving and her shirt is pushed up and he's practically lying on top of her. Hesitantly, she lifts a hand and runs it through her tangled hair.

"Why're you looking at me like that?" she asks softly. "I'm a mess."

He stops holding up his own weight entirely and lets his body settle over hers a bit, every one of her curves moulding to him. "Maybe," he says, smiling at her. They're just joking around, like they always do. He's just trying to cheer her up, that's all. "But to me, you are perfect."

[xo]

"Thank you for taking care of me today," she mumbles sleepily as Nate half-carries her into her bedroom and gently lays her down.

"My pleasure," he chuckles as he perches on the edge of her bed. "You doing okay? I probably shouldn't have let you break out that wine."

"M'fine," she whispers. Her arms are no longer around his neck, but her fingers are playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"Okay. I'll go, then. Let you get some sleep."

"Yeah…"

He smirks softly at her. "You're going to have to let go of my shirt for me to be able to do that."

"I don't wanna."

"Oh, you don't, do you?" he teases her, laughing lightly. "How am I supposed to leave, then?"

"You don't," she says simply. She grasps a fistful of his shirt and pulls him closer to her; neither of them know exactly what her intentions are.

Sighing, he kisses the corner of her mouth. "You need to get some rest. You've had a hard day. You're tipsy."

She shakes her head firmly and he sees for the first time that her eyes are a clear, sober blue, if not a little melancholy. "No, I'm not." She looks away from him, still holding onto the fabric of his shirt, even though her grasp loosens a bit. "Thanks again, Nate. You can go."

He sucks in some air, resting one of his hands on the other side of her body. This doesn't seem like the right moment, but this is him and her, and they always find moments but never the _right_ ones, so he just says it anyway, echoing her words from earlier: "I don't want to."


	9. 3x09: The Sisterhood of Nate

**A/N: **Your support and love for this story have been awesome so far, and I've been having a great time writing it. However, I've got to warn you that there's a 'hiatus' coming up. I'm graduating next week, which basically means about eleven days of ceremonies and dinners and prom and parties, so I'm going to apologize in advance for the fact that you're going to have to wait a while for the next update, because the chances of me getting the time to write are slim to none. Sorry! Reviews are love. :)

**3x09**

**[The Sisterhood of Nate]**

When he wakes up the next morning – alone, in his own bed – he wonders out into the living room, and then the kitchen, but it quickly becomes apparent that she's gone. He has no clue where she is; her only class of the day isn't until much later. He wonders if she even remembers last night, and what she thinks happened last night, and if she knows what she _wanted_ to happen last night, because he's still grappling with that one.

So he just sits down and eats the last package of Pop-Tarts, which he realizes halfway through devouring that she must have left especially for him to eat.

[xo]

"Blair! Hey!" Serena springs up from where she's sitting on the steps of the brunette's home, coffees in hand. "I've been waiting for you."

Blair's eyes rake over the discarded coffee cups that litter the steps and smiles amusedly. "Yeah, I see that. For how long, exactly?"

"Um. You know. Since kind of early."

She accepts the coffee cup, which is surprisingly cold, from Serena's hands. "Yeah, define early, S."

"I don't know, like…six o'clock?" She says it like a question, wincing as she awaits Blair's reaction.

"Six o'clock in the _morning_?" Blair exclaims, almost dropping her coffee. "That's _over_ twelve hours, Serena. Don't you have…I don't know, classes? Carter? Nate?"

"I don't have Nate," she replies hurriedly, in such a purposefully innocent tone that Blair's surprised her best friend's blue eyes aren't darting around. "Why would I have Nate?"

"Okay." Blair sets down the styrofoam cup, filled with what is undoubtedly now disgustingly cold coffee and reaches for her friend's hand, steering her back toward the steps to sit down. "You're worrying me, S. You do realize that the last time you showed up at my house this frantically you were convinced you'd killed someone, right?"

Serena shoots her a rueful smile. "Don't be worried. It's nothing bad. I mean, it is bad, but not bad like that."

Blair shakes her head incredulously. "I cannot believe you were sitting here all day. You must have been bored out of your mind."

The blonde shrugs. They're sitting like they always do near each other on steps, close to one another, their legs pointed toward each other's, and it gives her a welcome sense of familiarity. "Not really. I was just…thinking. I, um, called you, but it went straight to voicemail. I figured you were in class or –" She stops short at the expression on Blair's face and grimaces playfully. "Or with Chuck. You were clearly with Chuck." Blair smirks and Serena groans teasingly: "Please, spare me the details."

"Okay, okay." Blair reaches for one of her hands, giving it a squeeze. "So, tell me what it is that you were sitting here…thinking about."

"Carter and I broke up," Serena supplies.

"Oh. Serena, I'm sorry," she murmurs earnestly, pulling her into a one-armed hug which Serena accepts gratefully.

"Are you really?" she asks sceptically as she pulls away.

"Of course I am, if you're sad. What happened?"

"He had to go back to Dubai. He didn't have a choice." She swallows hard and sighs, meeting Blair's eyes trustingly. "He told me he loves me."

"Wow. _Carter Baizen_?"

Serena sighs once again and shoots her a pointed look. "Says the girl who's in love with _Chuck Bass_."

"Okay, I'm sorry, you're right," Blair concedes with a gentle smile. "So…did you say it back?"

She bites her lip and shakes her head. "No. I didn't."

Blair tilts her head, trying to meet Serena's eyes. "Because of Nate?"

Serena's eyes water. "I don't want it to be because of Nate. But I…I don't know. We've kind of lost each other ever since…well, since I left, and even though he tends to show up when I really need him…I feel like I'm just getting to know him again, you know? And I…" She buries her face in her hands and blows out her breath. She lifts her head to regard Blair seriously. "You're _for_ this? You _want_ this? Me…and Nate? _Me and Nate_."

The brunette can only shrug sympathetically. "It's not about what I want. It's about what _you_ want."

Her best friend groans, throwing her head back momentarily. "You're being level-headed and mature and B., I love you and everything, but I need you to be manipulative and bitchy and tell me exactly what to do."

"Serena," Blair says, and her sentence stops there because she starts laughing.

After their giggles fade away in the hazy night air, Serena gnaws on her lower lip and confesses, "It's just that…the other night we went dancing and it was just…it felt like more than it should have. And yesterday when I went home I was upset because of Carter leaving and Nate took care of me. He hugged me and he listened to me. He watched _Love Actually_ with me. He drank with me even though he had an early morning class. And when he was helping me to bed there was…a moment, when it felt like…" She sighs heavily; "Like I didn't want him to leave."

"So, did…"

"Nothing happened. He just laughed at me and I pretended I was drunk and he left and we'll both act like it never happened because…we're friends. We're…roomies."

"Serena, it's okay if –"

"No, it's _not_ okay," she replies harshly. "God, Blair, I have been fighting my feelings for Nate since I even knew what it was like to have feelings, and I know that I wasn't always exactly successful and I'm so sorry for that, but I thought maybe I'd finally made it. Until last night, when he looked at me the way he did, and it made me feel thirteen years old again and I know you don't want to hear that because he was supposed to be your boyfriend, he was your boyfriend –"

"Hey. Stop." Blair looks at her seriously. "He's not my boyfriend anymore. He hasn't been for a long time. And I don't think he was ever my boyfriend the way he'd be yours."

"I don't even know what that means!" Serena cries, a tear falling down one of her cheeks as she smiles helplessly. "A year ago you would have _hated_ me for feeling this way, and you might've killed me for telling you so."

"A year ago I didn't love Chuck," Blair says, like everything boils down to that fact, like it's that simple. "S., I was Nate's girlfriend for a very long time. And I thought it was perfect. I thought it was true love. But I didn't really ever feel anything close to what I feel with Chuck when I was with him. Chuck and I are _finally_ happy. It's not that crazy that I want the same for you and Nate. You're two of my very best friends. I don't know if there's any better way for you to be happy than with each other."

"I think I have feelings for him," Serena whispers, staring at her hands.

Blair laughs lightly, almost sweetly. "I _know_ you have feelings for him. And I'm pretty sure he has feelings for you, too."

"So…what do I do?"

"You'll figure it out," Blair says with a shrug. "You and Nate always find your way to each other. Even when you shouldn't," she adds teasingly, raising one of her eyebrows pointedly.

Serena makes a playful – but somehow sincere – apologetic face, wiping away her tears and laughing at herself for crying. "You really won't be upset about it?"

"_S._ Of course I won't. I've practically been pushing you toward this! All's forgiven, it's water, um…"

"Under the bridge?" Serena supplies.

"Yeah." Blair nods, looking contemplative. "Is _that_ the reason you've been sitting out here all day, because you felt like you needed my…approval, or something?"

Laughing, Serena shakes her head. "No. I still feel so horrible about that, Blair, about what happened with Nate and me at the Shepherd wedding, for the kind of betrayal it was to you. But I guess I came here today because…I needed to make sure I could say it you. 'Cause if I could tell you, then it really had to be _real_, how I feel about him."

Both of Blair's eyebrows fly up and she takes a deep breath, almost as though she's doing so on Serena's behalf. "You told me."

"Yeah, I told you…"

"So it's real." Blair grins at her excitedly. "What's your next move, van der Woodsen?"

Serena rolls her eyes. "You've been spending too much time with Chuck. And…I have no idea."

"Can I give you some advice?"

The blonde throws her hands into the air, feigning exasperation and relief. "Finally! Hell, yes, you can."

Blair laughs. "The next time he gives you that look that makes you feel thirteen and you don't want him to leave…don't let him." Serena blushes at those words, a rare occurrence for such a wildly-spirited girl, and Blair shakes her head fondly. "Be happy, okay? I want that for you." Smiling, she pulls Serena into a hug, allowing her best friend to rest her blonde head against her shoulder. Blair rests her head atop Serena's and sighs contentedly as they wrap their arms around each other. "You're my sister, remember?"

They stare up at the stares, because the night sky is really beautiful, and they're allowed to appreciate that because they're both in love, and for once it's not with the same boy.


	10. 3x10: Millionaire Matchmaker

**A/N: **I'm back and it's _back_! I'm tired and it rained all over my grad week and I have what feels like a never-ending hangover and I only one of my two diplomas because I have to wait another couple weeks for the marks for my other one (ah, the troubles of international education programmes), but I still managed to get this written, because that's how much I love you. Sorry for the wait! Reviews are love.

**3x10**

**[Millionaire Matchmaker]**

Nate decides that they need to talk. Serena's been dancing around him for days now, as if she's scared of him, and he's getting sick of it. For weeks they've been so ingrained in one another's lives that his days feel empty without her constant presence, and it's unsettling, the way she looks startled every time she sees him, so he decides to confront her.

The one morning they've both got an early class provides the perfect opportunity. They're both up and about and in the same spot at the same time, rushing around their apartment hurriedly in a desperate attempt to get ready on time. She makes Eggos and smoothies and leaves one of each for him, and when they run directly into one another at one point she laughs breathily and he knows that he needs to confront her now, when they're mildly at ease with one another again. Full of purpose, he barges into the bathroom, expecting to see her standing over the sink, bright pink toothbrush sticking out of her mouth.

Instead, he's met with a sight that leaves him wide-eyed and speechless. She's just stepping out of the shower, hair wet, and _completely naked_.

For a minute they just stare at each other, both shocked. And then her eyes widen a little bit more and she grabs her towel and he comes back to life, crying, "Oh, God, wow, _sorry_!" as he hurries out of the room, running into the doorframe on the way. He stands outside, back to the wall, rubbing his sore forehead and trying not to think about the gorgeous girl he lives with and is very possibly in love with. He tries to think about utterly un-sexy things, but none are springing to mind.

Serena, never one to hide away, steps out of the bathroom a moment later wearing her bathrobe and a half-formed smile. "Hi," she says softly.

"Hi. Um…sorry. Again," he replies without looking at her.

"Nate." She looks a little amused now. "It's okay."

"I should've knocked."

"_Nate_."

"From now on, I'll knock," he assures her, as if that's some kind of compensation.

"Would you _stop?_" she laughs, touching his arm – he wishes she wouldn't. "It's _okay_. I mean, it's not a big deal. We live together; it was bound to happen sometime. And Natie, we've known each other forever. And it's not…" She sighs and takes a deep breath, looking away from him as she adds, almost shyly, "It's not like it's…anything you haven't seen before."

He clenches his jaw.

"Do you think we could talk?" she asks quietly, swallowing hard, nervously.

Nate shakes his head. "Not right now. I have…somewhere to go. I have to be somewhere. But we can talk later, okay? We should talk. That's a good idea. That's what I was going to say. When, I walked in, I mean. That's what I wanted to say." He leans in and kisses her forehead, ignoring her baffled expression. "It was good seeing you. _I mean_, um…I mean…have a good day." With that, he offers her a lopsided smile, and bolts out of the apartment as fast as his feet with take him.

[xo]

Chuck sighs, pushing his chair back from his desk and propping his feet up on top of it as he leans back. He regards Nate with shades of teasing disappointment when he barges into his office. "I thought you were Blair. Or, at the very least, the delivery boy with my sandwich."

Nate rolls his eyes and sits down in the chair on the other side of the desk. "Yeah, whatever, sorry to disappoint. Listen, I kind of need to talk to you."

"Go on."

"I, uh…I walked in on Serena getting out of the shower this morning."

Chuck smirks in that infuriatingly knowing way of his, pulling his feet down and leaning toward Nate. "Nice work, Nathaniel," he praises him laughingly. When Nate sighs, he adds, "I'm failing to see what's so horrible about seeing the girl you're infatuated with naked first thing in the morning. It should make your day, really."

His jaw drops and he can hardly keep track of his own train of thought. "You think I'm _infatuated_ with Serena?"

His best friend shakes his head. "I think you're a lot more than that, but 'infatuated' was the lightest way to phrase it."

"No. She's my roommate. She's…she's my friend. That's all. We've known each other forever."

Chuck just raises a single eyebrow. Nate doesn't need to be told how weak those arguments are.

He sighs and leans back in his chair, slouching miserably. "It's just really bad timing for her to be anything more than my friend and my roommate. She just broke up with her boyfriend. And we…me and her, we've hit a really good…I don't know, rhythm, I guess. I don't want to do anything to mess that up. Last year, we really lost each other. We barely even spoke, and it sucked. I don't want to go back to that."

"Nate." Chuck pauses before he says, "Did you ever think that there might have been a reason the two of you barely spoke this past year? Do you think that, maybe, you were afraid of what you might feel if you and Serena got close to one another again…something similar to what you're feeling now?"

Nate shoots him an incredulous look. "When the hell did you become all wise about relationships?"

Chuck shrugs, still smirking. "What matters here is that I _am_ wise when it comes to what's going on with you and my stepsister. I'm right, aren't I?"

He nods reluctantly. "I…I have feelings for Serena. Maybe I have…all along."

"Yes," Chuck agrees, giving him a look that's a strange combination of pride and sympathy. "And Nathaniel…the rest of us knew it _all along_."

He takes a deep breath, absorbing this information, working his way through his small, personal epiphany. "So what do I do now?"

Chuck grins knowingly, leaning back in his chair. "You go get her naked again."

[xo]

"Sorry I'm late," Blair says with a smile as she breezes into her boyfriend's office. "My latte was –" She stops short at the expression on his face, matching his half-smile, half-smirk with one of her own. "I know that look," she all but purrs, shedding her lightweight sweater and walking over to him, leaning across his desk. "What plan of yours has fallen into place, Bass?"

He holds up his hands as if to prove his innocence. "For once, the plan fell into place with only very little of my help." He rests his hands on her arms, cupping her elbows and gliding downward. "Nathaniel came to see me today."

Her eyes light up. "Serena and I talked yesterday."

Chuck nods slowly. "I wonder how long it will take for them to figure it all out."

"I'm sure it will take them much longer than it did us. I mean, everything was so efficient, painless, and honest and quick." She arches one of her eyebrows, playfully accusatory.

He grimaces slightly. "I _am _sorry for all of that."

Blair nods understandingly. "I know you are. But…it wouldn't hurt for you to show me again," she adds innocently, leaning even closer to him and smirking sweetly as she whispers: "I locked the door."

[xo]

"Nate?" Serena's voice calls out to him when he steps into the apartment.

"Hey! Where are you?"

"Kitchen," she replies, her voice floating out to him. "Fully clothed, I promise," she adds, a nervous laugh buried in her teasing words.

He takes a deep breath as he steps into the kitchen. The lights are dimmed low and she's sitting on the counter, legs dangling, wearing a pale yellow dress. He stays on the opposite side of the room, leaning back against the wall. Her lips slip up into a smile for a moment before it falls away, and she kicks her legs out into the air nervously.

She swallows and asks quietly, "Maybe we could have that talk now?"

She's looking up at him through her long lashes, and he can't remember the last time he's seen her look so shy. "Uh, yeah," he says, clearing his throat. "Talking would be good."


	11. 3x11: Love is a Story

**A/N: **Quick update! Because it's been a while, and I miss them so much, and you and I both were waiting for this. ;) Review, please! Your feedback so far has been great.

**3x11**

**[Love is a Story]**

"Talking," Serena says softly, almost a whisper. Her heart's palpitating, and her heels are getting sore from bouncing against the cupboards, but she can't even begin to think about staying completely still – she's too nervous. She regards him warily, alarmed by the way she feels. For a very long time he was simply the boy she loved without really being allowed to, and somehow they'd both made that work.

"Yeah," he agrees, taking a couple cautious steps toward her. Every bit of her, from her toes to her shiny blonde hair to her pale yellow dress, seems to glow in the low light of the kitchen.

She giggles, smiling at him in that lightly confident way she's had for as long as he's known her. "We should probably use some more words if we're going to talk, huh?"

"You think so?" he chuckles, teasing her, and it feels easy again. It's always been easy for them, he reminds himself. He crosses the rest of the distance between them and stands in between her legs, resting one hand on the countertop at her side and bravely placing his other on her thigh, just above her knee, the point where her dress stops covering her skin.

Serena offers him the last bite of her Pop-Tart, which he devours quickly and playfully. She beams at him as he chews. "I've missed you lately," she murmurs, trying not to over-think the position of his right hand.

He gives her a long, hard look. "Yeah? Have…have you been avoiding me lately?"

Swallowing hard, she tilts her head as she meets his eyes and admits, "Maybe a little bit."

"Just a little bit?"

She holds her index finger and thumb close together. "Just a little," she agrees cutely.

"Why?"

She blows out her breath. His voice is low and intimate, asking her for honesty, and it's always been so difficult for her to turn him down. After a lot of thought, she finally says, "You're making me nervous, Natie."

He smirks slightly, his face free of any signs of surprise. "You're kind of making me nervous, too."

Serena presses her lips together and gazes at some spot on the floor. "Do you…" Her throat gets tight and she has to swallow before she can say, "Do you remember when I told you I didn't come back for you?" she asks him nervously, licking her lips.

Even though the thought at the forefront of his mind is how very kissable she looks in that moments, he manages to nod and reply, "Yeah." Of course he remembers. She may as well have torn out his heart and stomped on it with her Manolos.

She locks eyes with him and sighs, subtly adjusting her position on top of the counter so that her body is the slightest bit closer to his, and pressing one of her sore heels against the back of one of his knees. "I lied," she tells him simply, and it's a relief to finally admit it, both to herself and to him.

His eyes light up in this perfect, boyish way that melts her heart as he uncertainly states, "You did…"

She nods. "I just…missing you sucks so bad. It hurts too much. I came back for Erik, but in a way I was coming back for you, too. I was just…"

"You were trying to do the right thing. I know. It sucked and it hurt, like you said, but I admired you for it, because I wasn't that strong."

She blushes in spite of herself. Never before have they talked so clearly about how they feel about one another; it's both freeing and mildly terrifying. "Nate, I missed you at boarding school every single day, and I missed you after I came back when Blair was mad at us both, and I missed you this past year when we hardly spoke to each other – some days it felt like we'd never even known each other, which was so awful because you've always been…" She trails off. "And now we're here, living together, and it's been so good. I never want to have to miss you again."

"I know," he said quietly, understanding her perfectly. "I missed you, too."

"I don't want to mess us up. I'm scared to," she confides in him, because he's always been the best person to tell her secrets to. "The last thing I want is to lose you again in any way."

He shakes his head, almost stubbornly. "I'm not going to let you miss me again. Serena." He smiles slightly after he says her name. "I promise."

"Nate…you and I have had a million chances."

He shrugs off her words, looking at her with smouldering blue eyes. "So million-and-first time's the charm."

"Nate," she sighs, shooting him a wary glance.

"I'm serious," he insists, tilting his head so that he can meet her gaze. "It…it's always been you, Serena van der Woodsen, even if we never got it together. And if we do get it together, _when_ we do get it together…it's always going to be you. I can't imagine it being anyone else."

Her eyes break from him and she swallows hard, shaking her head slightly. She's smiling but her navy blue orbs look glassy.

"What?" he murmurs. "Are you going to tell me it's too soon to be saying things like that? That we're eighteen and it's just too early to consider the possibility of forever?" he asks teasingly, though he's wholly serious.. "Because it's not, not for you and me. You know it's not. We are a long, long time coming."

"No. No." She smiles at him reassuringly. "It's just…once, a while ago, I talked to my mom about forever, even though I knew I was too young and it just…it didn't feel anything like this."

His heart drops down into his stomach. "Oh…"

She grabs his hand, the one that was resting on the counter, and squeezes it tightly. "No." She lets go of his hand and gently cups his face in her own hands, soft and familiar against his skin. "That's not what I meant. I mean, it is, but…this is even bigger than what I thought that was. Does that make sense?"

Nate nods seriously, reaching up with his now-unoccupied hand to touch her slender wrist. "Eighteen years in the making. I mean it. I've felt so much for you for so long."

Her lips tremble, her hands falling into her lap. "Me, too. I've felt that way, too. I should've told you the truth, that day. We could've had these past couple years…"

"We'll make it up," he says easily. "We can do this, you and me. There's nothing in our way right now."

She squints at him adorably. "Did you talk to Chuck?"

He smirks sweetly back. "Why, did you talk to Blair?"

She giggles lightly, slipping one of her hands into his, lacing their fingers together. "We'd be evened out. The four of us."

Nate chuckles. "That's it? That's the reason you want to be with me? So you and Blair can organize double dates?"

"Exactly," she laughs as he steps even closer to hers, his body pressed up against the counter, and up against hers. She regards him more sombrely, her whole self tingling with the sensation of being so close to him. "We're going to do this?" she asks faintly.

"Me and you," he tells her gently, reassuringly. "Just like _always_."

His final word sends a chill up her spine and has her eyes sparkling with happy tears. "I think maybe…" She bites her lip, but she keeps going, "I think maybe I'm falling in love with you, Natie, or maybe that I've always been in love with you, and I know that's it's _definitely_ too early to say things like that, but –"

He cuts her off with a kiss, a perfect kiss, one that has her wondering how it's been possible for her to go this long without kissing him. It feels like she never should have kissed anyone else – he was her first kiss, and he should be her last; there's no need for anything or anyone that came in between. She makes a surprised but appreciative little sound at the back of her throat that makes him smile with his lips still pressed to hers. They pull apart and he smirks sheepishly.

"Sorry," he says, apologizing for cutting her off.

She smirks at him like they've got a private joke, or a secret, which they sort of do, and repeats the words she's said several times leading up to this moment, shaking her head lightly.

"Don't be sorry," she tells him mutedly, pulling him into another kiss, one of her hands clutching the fabric of his shirt while the other cups the back of his neck, both of her legs wrapping lightly around his.

"Always been you," he reiterates between kisses, because it seems like the easiest, most truthful piece of knowledge he's ever had.

"Always you and me," she agrees quietly, their eyes locking for one moment as they both smile. She sighs contentedly, resting her forehead against his briefly, and then her lips find his once more.

And they don't need to talk much after that.


	12. 3x12: Together Again for the First Time

**3x12**

**[Together Again for the First Time]**

"Hey, beautiful."

Serena stirs in her position on the couch, where she and Nate had fallen asleep all tangled up in one another the day before. As her eyes flutter open, she feels his lips press against her cheek, and then his perfect face appears in front of her as he crouches in front of the couch.

"Hey," she murmurs back sleepily, shooting him a bleary smile.

"Your class isn't until this evening, right?"

Yawning, she sits up and runs a finger through her tangled hair. She can't stop looking at him, and moreover, she can't get over the way he's looking at her. "Yeah. Why?"

Straightening up, he says, "Let's get out of here. Let me take you to brunch."

She giggles, smiling up at him. "Why?" she asks once more, bewildered.

He braces his hands on either side of her body and leans down close to her, their noses brushing. "Because you're my girlfriend," he says, smirking her in that way that can make her blush.

She scrunches up her nose. "Um, I'm sorry…but _where_ did you get that idea?" she teases him.

He grins back at her easily; one of the many things she loves about him is that he's always completely aware of how serious she is or isn't being. "Last night," he says huskily, leaning in to kiss her, continuing to speak as his lips periodically brush hers, "sometime…when we were…doing something…a lot like this."

"Mm," she purrs happily, tugging his body closer to hers. "I think I remember that, too."

Nate pulls back and his eyes rake down her face. "You're good with this, right? I mean, I know Carter just left and this feels like a big deal because it's been such a long time coming, but –"

She cuts him off with a kiss and promises, "I am _very_ good with this." Then she lets him go, slipping out from under him so that he face-plants into the couch with a groan as she hurries off to her room to get dressed.

[xo]

"More champagne?" their attentive waiter offers, holding the bottle out.

"Please," Serena says, holding out her glass but never looking away from Nate, who's sitting across the table. Normally, she'd be a little flirtatious with the relatively cute waiter, who can't be much older than she is, but she can't stop looking at Nate. Her _boyfriend_. She thinks of all the days she dreamed of this, when she was thirteen years old and so terribly infatuated with him, and she can hardly believe that it's finally real.

She giggles like she used to when they were younger as his foot brushes against hers under the table – it doesn't feel quite as innocent as it used to. They're at her favourite rooftop restaurant, sun beating down on their tanned shoulders. "I can't believe you remembered how much I love it here," she gushes. She's always had the tendency to gush when she's nervous or excited.

Nate shrugs. He's never forgotten things about her, she's too much a part of him for that to happen. "Of course I did. We used to come here all the time when we were younger. Blair was always planning something or organizing something, and she'd just send us away to get out of her hair."

"We were so annoying!" she laughs, popping a raspberry into her mouth. She slips her foot out of her shoe and nudges his ankle with her toes, winking at him.

He loves the way she says _we_. They're so immersed in one another's history. It doesn't make sense for him to love anyone else, not when she's always been there and she's always been right for him. "Yeah, but it got me alone time with you," he tells her, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh, whatever," she scoffs. "You didn't plan that."

"How do you know?" he challenges her, leaning in across the table.

Serena remains sceptical. "Because. Blair was dead set on marrying you then and you knew it."

Nate rolls his eyes good-naturedly. "When I was fourteen years old I didn't want to think about marriage. What teenage boy does?"

"So what _did_ you think about, then?" Serena demands, lifting her chin imperiously, which makes her look cute rather than threatening considering the smile she wears.

He shrugs once more, reaching across the small table to steal a couple blueberries from the fruit salad that's a part of her meal. He pops them in her mouth and smiles innocently at her. "You," he says.

She laughs lightly and throws a strawberry at him, which he avoids by ducking easily, but the look in his eyes tells her he's not joking, and her bare foot moves further up his leg.

[xo]

She takes his hand as they leave the restaurant and he feels shamefully like a twelve-year-old kid again when he feels a surge of delight as her fingers slip through his. He never wants to let her go. Her shoulder bumps against his as they walk and he decides they're not close enough, pulling his hand gently from hers to that he can wrap it around her waist. She shoots him a smile as she leans into him, smiling happily.

"You wanna go home?" he asks her, pressing a kiss into her hair.

Serena looks up at him through her eyelashes wearing her coyest smile. "What exactly are you thinking, Mr. Archibald?" she teases him.

He throws the question back to her: "What do you _want_ me to be thinking, Miss van der Woodsen?"

She stops short on the sidewalk, wrapping both of her arms around him. He does the same, his hands settling at the small of his back. "I'm not going to tell you that," she says simply, dimples in her cheeks, "because it's too much for now. It's too soon. I want us to work so bad, Natie."

"I know," he says tenderly, kissing her nose. "And we will."

"Yeah," she agrees softly, sweetly. "But let's…let's just take it slow for now, okay? I mean, we already live together," she laughs.

Nate makes a playful face. "I'm sorry, did I hear you right? _Serena van der Woodsen_…wanting to take things…what was that word – _slow_?" He shakes his head incredulously. "What've you done with the girl I know and love?"

Sighing huffily, she rolls her eyes, ignoring the pleasant, shivery feeling she gets when he says the word _love_. "Stop. I can do slow."

"I know you can," he assures her gently to make sure she knows he was kidding. "I just haven't ever seen you anxious to be slow before. Ever."

She leans in and pecks him on the lips, holding onto him more tightly. He loves the feeling of her all tucked up in his arms. "Well, then maybe you're my exception." She pulls back from him slightly. "Come on, let's go shopping. We can be like Chuck and Blair!" she adds, her eyes lighting up with childish joy. "Matching coats!"

His eyes widen comically. "Are you _crazy_?"

"Crazy for _you_," she tells him, sticking her tongue out, laughing at the cheesiness of her own joke. She moves away from him, hurrying down the sidewalk, walking backward on her way to Bergdorf's. "Come on, Natie." She turns around, walking forward, because there's no question in her mind about whether or not he's rushing to catch up with her. Of course he is.

[xo]

She plants a ridiculous red hat on top of his head and stands back to assess his appearance, pressing her lips together to hold in her giggles. "Hm." She tilts her head to one side, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her chin, thoroughly enjoying his discomfort while he glares playfully at her from beneath the monstrosity of a chapeau. "I'm not sure it's your _colour_…"

He shoots her an unimpressed look. "Please let me take this off my head."

"Only if you me let me buy it for you," she bargains, blue eyes sparkling.

"But _Serena_…" he whines, pouting at her.

"Yep, buying it!" she declares, swiping it off his head. She knows he'll never wear it, but it's not like she doesn't have extra money to throw around, and he does kind of look adorable in it. She smirks to herself as she takes his hand and leads him away from the men's hats, thinking she might be able to convince him to wear it somehow in the future.

A Madonna song starts up and her ears pick up on the sound instantly as she brightens up even more. Her mother always complained that the piped-in music of department stores was crass, and Blair's always winced at it as well, but Serena loves bopping along to it as she shops. "Nate!" she cries. "I love this song!"

He sighs overdramatically. "Of course you do."

She sings along quietly, dancing down the aisle, framing her face with her hands and making kissy lips in his direction. "C'mon, Natie, vogue with me!" she begs, striking another pose.

He just shakes his head and laughs, watching as she sets 'his' ridiculous hat on her head and struts down the store's aisle like the model she very well could be in her favourite 7 for all Mankind jeans – which he's starting to love also as he watches her hips when she walks away – her pale purple Marc Jacobs blouse, and her red-soled Louboutins, which, amazingly, match her hat.

"_You're a superstar; yes, that's what you are – you know it!"_

He sticks his hands in his pockets as he trails behind her, grinning to himself, watching everyone else in the store admire her, thinking with quiet confidence: _Yep, that's _my _girl_.


	13. 3x13: Goodbye Lover, Hello Love

**A/N: **Thanks for reviewing, and please do keep it up! This chapter's a little longer. :)

**3x13**

**[Goodbye Lover, Hello Love]**

She plants kisses all over his cheeks, forehead, and nose, then buries her face into his neck. "I cannot believe that guy hit you with a door," she says sympathetically, pouting on his behalf as she snuggles next to him.

"It hurt my pride more than my body," he assures her, even though he's got to admit that he really likes that she's been hovering over him for the past hour since they got home, and the way her eyes flashed cobalt blue when some jerk slammed a door into his arm on the way out of class was pretty damn hot.

"Still," she sighs, settling in at his side. "What a jerk."

"Yeah," he agrees, wincing slightly as he adjusts the position of the ice pack pressed to his arm.

Serena smiles, cuddling close to his uninjured side. "Have I told you how much I love going to school with you?"

"Oh yeah?" He laughs as she nods. "Why, so you can watch me get my ass kicked by a door?"

"No, you idiot," she says, joining in on his laughter. "Because I love being around you so much. _Even_ when you're getting your ass kicked by a door."

"Thanks, babe," he murmurs, slipping his fingers into her hair as he kisses her.

She smiles at him when they pull apart, eyeing his blue orbs, which are bleary. "Painkillers starting to get ya?" she asks him sweetly, planting yet another kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah," he mumbles, still stroking her hair.

"Okay. Go to sleep. I'll be right here if you need me."

Through half-closed eyelids, he looks at her, and says: "You're perfect."

Serena giggles mutedly. "I'm far from perfect, Natie." She leans in to give him a kiss just before he's claimed by slumber. "But I love you for thinking so."

[xo]

She's dozing in the pale evening light at Nate's side, curled up in only one of his t-shirts and her favourite underwear, one of her school books abandoned at her side, when she hears a knock on the door. Nate's still knocked out and she figures it's probably only Blair and Chuck having spotted a figure of her and Nate on Gossip Girl or something, so Serena pads to the door in her bare feet with her hair down, still only wearing Nate's t-shirt, which hits her mid-thigh. Chuck and Blair have seen her in every possible state, including some which were much worse.

When she flings the door of their apartment open she's entirely taken aback by what – _who­ _– is on the other side. Her jaw drops, and his mouth falls open, too.

"Carter," she says, stunned. It's been nearly a month since he's been gone, and she hasn't corresponded with him since.

"Serena," he replies evenly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips but never quite forming.

"You…you're back," she says, stumbling on her words. The sight of him has surprised her and left her a little bit breathless. She's missed him, she can't deny that.

"And you're…wearing Nate's clothes," he replies bluntly, eyes skimming down her body.

She tugs at the hem of the shirt, which is a fairly stupid thing to do, because she's not trying to cover up her body so much as she's trying to cover up the clothes which _are_ covering her. His eyes are full of confusion, and she can tell he's trying to be neutral but also that he's going to want some answers from her. She knows what anyone would read into this situation.

"And you…you're not in Dubai."

His smile forms fully for a second, charming but earnest. "I missed you, Serena."

"I…I missed you, too," she admits honestly. "Do you, um…do you want to grab some coffee or something?" she asks him softly. Sticking one thumb over her shoulder, she says, "I'll just go change, and we can…"

"Yeah. Sounds good."

Back in her room, she feels more flustered than she should as she tears through the piles of clothes lying around. As much as she adores living with Nate, neither of them have ever had to clean up after themselves, and their apartment is in a constant state of disarray. Normally she doesn't find it, she likes it, even, but today she doesn't have the patience. In the end, she grabs her uniform skirt from Constance Billard, because she's Serena van der Woodsen and she's the only girl who can wear her uniform skirt _after_ high school graduation and not only look acceptable, but actually look _cool_. It matches Nate's lacrosse shirt that's she's wearing, in the exact same shades of blue, so she simply ties his shirt in a knot in the back so that it's tight to her skin. She grabs a blue headband of Blair's she stole at one point and slips it into her hair, snatching up her purse on the way back out. She scrawls a note – _out for a few, call if you need me, xoxo, S_ – and sticks it on Nate's door as she leaves.

"You look amazing," Carter says honestly when he sees her, and she finds herself smiling coquettishly back at him. She can't help it.

[xo]

Carter buys her a latte and a muffin and they sit together in Central Park, absorbing the noise around them for a little while. The silence isn't exactly awkward, but there's a small current of tension there. She doesn't know what to say to him as she watches him sip his black coffee in her peripheral vision. It's so odd; Carter is more like her, more of a daredevil, but he feels safer to her than Nate does. She loves Nate, she has since before she's even known what love was, but that kind of all-encompassing love scares the hell out of her.

She doesn't blame him when he clears his throat and says, "So…you and Nate."

"Yeah," she whispers, picking at her muffin.

"What…are you guys, exactly?"

She's not trying to be evasive, but she can't help but ask, "How long are you back in New York?"

He looks at her for a long moment. "What decision are you basing on my answer?"

She blushes and shakes her head, looking down. "I'm sorry. That was stupid. I just…my head's kind of spinning right now."

Carter nods, reaching over and gently taking her hand. "I know, I'm here out of nowhere, but…I wanted to see you again." His smile is bittersweet. "But I guess you really didn't need to see me."

Serena sighs heavily, shooting him an apologetic look. "Look, about Nate and I…I don't really know what we are, exactly. I mean, we're…testing out togetherness, I guess."

"And it's good." He states it. It's not a question.

"But it scares me," she admits, clinging to his hand without really meaning to.

"Scares you?" Carter smirks at her sceptically. "_You_ scare the boys, Serena, not the other way around."

She rolls her eyes but she can't quite smile. "Not with Nate," she tells him, her voice very small.

He tilts his head in hopes of meeting her gaze, giving her hand a squeeze back. "Serena," he says gently, in the way that made her heart flutter when they dated through the summer, "What's going on?"

She sniffles, wiping her eyes with the back of her free hand, looking at him with vulnerable, watery blue orbs. She's so afraid of having her heart broken again. With Dan it was bad, and she missed Aaron for a couple days, and she cried over Carter, but she remembers what it was like when she ran away and she missed Nate. Nothing has ever hurt her quite that badly, and it scares the hell out of her, to love that much and that deeply. She tries to smile at Carter through her tears, "How long are you in town, again?"

[xo]

"Hey, you're home," he says warmly when she appears in the doorway of his bedroom. He's still in the same position, only his hair is a little more tousled and he's attempting to read the book she left abandoned on his bed.

Serena smiles fondly at him from the doorway. "How's the reading going?"

"This book is…boring," he confesses with a chuckle low in his throat, casting it aside and smiling at her. He smirks at her slightly, even though he still feels a little out of it. "That skirt still looks hot on you."

She can't help but smile at his words, sighing as she makes her way over to the bed and flops down next to him. "How's your arm?"

"Fine. Good. I'm fine." He rests his hand lightly on her thigh. "Where'd you go?"

Serena stares fixedly at her fingernails. "Um, Carter's back in town. We got coffee."

There's a noticeable pause before Nate manages to say, "…oh." He clears his throat. "Did you tell him that we're –"

She's saved by the sound of her cell phone ringing. With a sigh, she gets up and fishes around in her bag, which she dropped by the door, until she finds it. "Hey," she greets whomever it is.

"Serena!" Blair's voice squeals in her ear, "You…skank!"

She wrinkles her nose in confusion, shooting Nate a smile before she wanders out of his room and into her own. She knows by her best friend's tone that she's not _really_ insulting her. "What're you talking about, B.?" she asks patiently, accustomed after all these years to Blair's dramatics.

"You! Nate! Look at Gossip Girl right now."

Dutifully, she flips open her laptop and perches on her desk chair, hastily typing in the website address. Sure enough, front and centre, she and Nate are pictured. It's a photograph taken more than a week ago, from the day after they decided to get together, and they hugging on the sidewalk as he kisses her nose. Underneath, GG says:

_Hey, Upper East Siders. No, you're not dreaming. That's N and S, putting on a very public display of utterly adorable affection. Looks like they've finally decided to attend to all that unfinished business. Are S and N going to turn that ever-present lust into love for real this time? Or is this another fake-out? Could it be that S is just looking for a way to spend her time now that a certain troublemaker is back in Dubai? Maybe these two roomies are just warming up for the winter months… No matter what their deal is, you know I'll be watching!_

"Ugh," she murmurs, slamming her laptop closed. The picture is really sweet, but the speculation beneath is hitting a little too close to home.

"You two look so cute," Blair giggles delightedly on the other end of the line. "Chuck's practically nauseous."

"Blair," Serena says seriously, needing her best friend's undivided attention for a moment.

The brunette recognizes her tone of voice and gives it to her. "Hey. What's wrong? Trouble in paradise _already_?"

"Carter's back. He came to see me today."

"Oh." Blair's taken aback. "So…what does that mean?"

Serena blinks furiously, glad that Blair can't see her watery eyes. "I don't know," she admits.

"But…you're with Nate."

"Do you remember when…when we talked about this?" She takes a deep breath and tries to stop her voice from shaking. "And I told you I needed to know that it was real?"

"Yeah," Blair says in that gentle voice she reserves most generally for Erik or for when Serena or Chuck is falling apart. "And it was. It was real."

She flops backward on her bed and clutches a pillow, feeling her heart thump against her ribs. "But maybe it's _too_ real."

"What does that mean, S.?"

"It means that…he feels like he's my forever. And I can't lose that. I don't know how I could deal with it."

"Oh, honey," Blair says sympathetically. "You won't. You're _his_ forever, too. I know you are." She pauses and sighs before adding, "Chuck says that you should know that Nate – _Nathaniel_," she corrects herself, obviously at Chuck's prodding, "is much better for you."

Serena sighs and manages a smile through her tears. "Tell him I say thanks for the advice."

In the background, on the other end, she can hear Chuck smarm, "_You're welcome, sis_."

Sighing again, she says, "Listen, I'm going to let you go. You and Chuck have fun doing…whatever I don't want to know you're about to do."

"Alright," Blair agrees, holding back giggles. "But…forever's a good thing, S. Okay? I know it."

"I'm glad you do," Serena says quietly and earnestly, blowing a kiss through the phone before she hangs up.

With a sigh, she flips the little keyboard out of her phone and quickly types a text to Carter: _I don't know exactly what's going on, but I do know that I'm glad you're here._ Then she kicks off her skirt, unties her shirt, and changes into pyjamas. She grabs her tearstained pillow and migrates back into Nate's room, because it already feels strange not to sleep with him at her side. She smiles at him but doesn't say anything as she flicks off the lamp and settles in on the opposite side of the bed, her back to him.

[xo]

Serena's always been a little wild in her sleep – something Nate's always found endearing because it fits her personality so perfectly. She flops around and sometimes she murmurs phrases that don't make sense and she likes to cuddle but she tends to hog all the blankets. After she falls asleep, she flops over onto her back and curls her body toward his a bit, breathing steadily. He watches her sleep, wide awake after his long nap that afternoon, and notes what might be the remnants of tears on her cheeks. He reaches over, brushing his index finger very gently against her skin, and she sighs contentedly and rolls a little bit closer to him, murmuring his name: "_Natie_."

He smiles; he loves hearing her call him that. It makes him think of their childhood. He sighs, moving closer to her, draping one of his arms over her body. He wonders why she left the room when her phone rang. He wonders why she left to go have coffee with Carter Baizen. He wonders if he's enough for her; or maybe he's too much for her.

He wonders if they hurt each other, inadvertently or not, a little bit more than either of them really was willing to recognize. And he's determined to make it up to her.


	14. 3x14: The Notebooks

**A/N: **This story is a ton of fun to write but I'm kind of anxious to finish it, hence the quick updates. Do me a favour, though, and review all chapters you read? Your feedback is my crack, and I _am_ spoiling you all. ;)

**3x14**

**[The Notebooks]**

Serena's gone when Nate wakes up the next morning. She sheets at his side are cold, her room is an even bigger mess than it was a few hours ago, and the Pop-Tarts have been finished. He knows that this is the day she's got an early morning class – he has one, too, but he's playing hooky due to his 'injury' – but he notices that she hasn't left him one of those cutesy notes she's had the tendency to leave behind every time she leaves since they moved in together. It makes him anxious. He doesn't know if she was in a rush to leave, or if she didn't want him to know where she was going; more specifically, _who_ she was going there with.

He doesn't know what he has to do to prove himself to her, but he knows that he is not letting that girl, _his_ girl go again, not without a fight.

[xo]

Carter's waiting for her when she gets out of class, and she smiles slightly as she approaches him, accepting the strawberry smoothie he brought her. "Hey," she whispers, taking a sip and waiting for him to explain his presence there.

He sticks his hands in the pockets of his coat as they meander across Columbia's campus. "So, I got an interesting wakeup call this morning."

Serena shoots him an intrigued look out of the corner of her eye. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. From Chuck Bass, telling me to stay the hell away…from his sister."

She winces. "Ah. Um…I'm sorry. Chuck's never been very good at the whole minding-his-own-business thing."

"Oh, I know," Carter says, raising one eyebrow as he speaks from experience. "But it seems like he really…cares. And I think he's trying to protect both you and Nate."

"Yeah," Serena agrees faintly. She knows he's right.

Carter stops short, touching her arm, and sighs. "Listen, I came back because I really missed you, and I hated to think that you might be missing me that same way. I wanted to see you again. But…I'm beginning to think that it was probably a good thing that I left in the first place."

"No!" she begins, shaking her head, but he cuts her off.

"_Yes_," he says, gently but firmly. "Serena, I really care about you; I have for a long time and I probably always will. You're beautiful and fun and you deserve…everything. I just don't know…if I'm the guy who should give you that. I don't know if I _can_ give you that."

She stares at him for a moment, her eyes searching his face as she absorbs his words. Finally, she asks, "Do you _want_ to?"

"Of course I do," he says, reaching up to tuck her hair out of her face.

"So isn't that what counts?"

He lifts his shoulders and lets them fall, sticking his hands back in his pockets. "I think that's your decision. But I do want to. I just want you to know that."

She nods, staring down at the ground, scuffing the toe of her shoe. "Thank you," she says mutedly.

Carter studies her for a moment, almost in a resigned way. "Do you want me to take you home?" he asks quietly.

She shakes her head stubbornly. She doesn't know what to say to Nate yet. "No."

"Okay," he murmurs, and then he leans in to kiss her softly, just the briefest press of his lips to hers. "You know where to find me," he adds, looking into her eyes, and then he disappears off into the crowd of students.

Serena sighs and looks down into her smoothie, deciding that she needs another drink.

One with some alcohol.

Or just all alcohol.

[xo]

He finds her in a bar on campus, which he finds strangely ironic yet entirely suitable. She's sitting there in a gorgeous black dress that looks much too elegant for the middle of the day, but she, of course, can pull it off. She's staring miserably at her drink in a way that makes him ache on her behalf. He doesn't want her to be unhappy.

"Hey, you," he says as amiably as he can as he sits down at her side.

She glances up at him, startled; she didn't see him come in. Her lips form that automatic-but-honest smile and she says, "Hey, Natie," and his heart melts a bit.

"Hey," he replies, ordering a drink for himself and another of hers. "How's Carter?"

She shoots him a wounded look that's not entirely justified and shrugs. "He's…" She trails off at that. She doesn't know what to say.

"Do you…" He gulps down some of his scotch. "Do you miss him?"

Serena rests her elbows on the surface of the bar and props her head up against one of her hands, turning to look at him. Her lips are pale pink and trembling. "I want to want you," she says simply.

"And I want you to want me," he counters easily, causing them both to smirk slightly as they recognize the lyrics to a Cheap Trick song.

"It's just…I don't know, I'm confused," she admits, fingers running up and down the stem of her martini glass. "I've had a really stressful, kind of awful summer…with all this stuff with my father, you know? And I still don't really know…" She sighs. "But lately with you things have been so easy and perfect. But it feels _complicated_. You and I were never complicated, but that's how it feels now, because I'm so used to _wanting_ you that I almost don't know how to…have you."

Empathetically, he flashes her a brief grin. "But this should be the easy part, you know? Having each other."

"Yeah."

He gives her a long look, sighing. He pushes his glass away. "But you miss him."

"Natie, I don't know," she says mournfully. He's filled with the desire to wrap her up and protect her from being conflicted, but he also feels annoyed with her, so he just stays stuck in between the two, sitting there at her side. "Through all this confusing stuff, and everything with my father, Carter's been there for me. So it's complicated, because we've got all that history, you know?"

"Not as much history as we've got," he counters her, knowing it to be true.

"Are you mad at me?" she asks in a small voice, the one he recognizes from the day in second grade when she fell on the courtyard and skinned her knee. He helped her limp inside but she refused to cry, burying her little face in his shoulder and clutching his hand while the school nurse picked gravel out of her cut. It's the voice she uses when she needs to cry but she wants to be brave about it.

Nate sighs. "I'm just…confused by your confusion. I thought he was gone, and I know you did too, but I…I didn't think it would matter if he came back."

"It's not simple with Carter and me," she attempts to explain, her blue eyes wide. "He's been there for me through a _lot_, Nate. We've got…we've got a really good connection. An important one. It's just hard to let that go."

"So…what? You want to let _me_ go?"

"No!" she cries, placing her hand on his knee. "_God_, no. I don't know…what I want."

He shrugs with purposeful carelessness. "Serena, I _do_. I know _exactly_ what I want. And I know this is freaking you out a bit, and I understand that, and I know that we've both been through a lot these past couple years, but I've always known what I wanted and I've always known that it's _you_."

"Natie –"

He shakes his head and pulls his leg away from her hand, his frustration boiling over. "Always, Serena," he tells her forcefully. "And it's fine if it scares you, but it should scare you in a _good_ way. I just wanted to…" He reaches into his backpack and pulls out some old, beat up notebooks. He shoves them into her waiting hands, ignoring her baffled expression: first-grade notebooks with _Serena Archibald_ doodled on the pages, surrounded by hearts. "Maybe Carter's always been there for you, but I've always _loved_ you, and that's got to count for more."

She's struck speechless and he gets up, sliding some money across the bar to cover their drinks, and heads for the door. "I've got class," he mutters, and goes without looking back.

[xo]

The moment she enters their apartment she kicks off her shoes, his notebooks still clutched tightly in her hands, her knuckles white. She's a little bit tipsy but she's thinking so very clearly. She's spent nearly two hours staring at those old, first-grade lesson notes and the writing in the margin in his little-boy script, endearingly, disastrously, messy. She storms through the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms, finally ending up in the bathroom, where he's standing over the sink with only a fluffy, navy blue towel wrapped around his waist.

"Serena," is all he says.

"What is this?" she gasps out, holding the pages up.

He shrugs sheepishly, avoiding her eyes. "My mom keeps everything, so I brought them with me. They're just…they're from when we were younger. Blair was always doing that…writing _Blair Cornelia Archibald_ all the time. Remember?"

Serena nods mutedly. She can't tear her eyes away from him.

Nate shrugs once more. "And I just…I wanted to see what your first name would look like with my last name."

She's surprised she's still standing, that she hasn't melted into a puddle on the floor. It feels like her words could knock her over, but also like they're holding her up.

"You're fighting for me," she breathes out in amazement, swallowing hard as she blinks back tears. Her breathing is audible in the small, steamy washroom, and so is his.

"I just wanted to show you that –"

He's cut off when the wind is knocked out of him due to the force of her body hitting his as she runs into his arms, notebooks falling to the floor. Her body's pressed tight to his, her arms wrapped securely around him, and her reciprocates the hug with the same kind of ferocity. She's not sure whether the moisture on her cheek is from her tears or his damp skin, but it doesn't really matter.

Nate kisses her forehead and buries his face in her hair, finishing his sentence: "I just wanted to show you that I meant it when I said always."


	15. 3x15: The Beginning of History

**A/N: **Thanks so much for your reviews. Happy Canada Day! :P

**3x15**

**[The Beginning of History]**

Her head is spinning. He's covered only by a towel and totally gorgeous and he _fought for her_, just like she always wanted him to and needed him to, and one of his hands is buried in her hair and she lost her shirt a while ago.

"Wait, wait," she gasps out, pressing one hand lightly against his chest.

"What?" he murmurs, not really letting her go, simply pressing kisses to her cheek and the corner of her mouth.

She starts to giggle; she's so happy and giddy and dizzy. "We're making out in a bathtub!" she gasps.

"It's _our_ bathtub," he points out laughingly, like that matters, which it might.

"Yeah, but Natie…this is crazy."

"Crazy _good_," he tells her gently, kissing her once more.

"Mm," she purrs, pulling back and locking eyes with him. "Definitely crazy good, but still crazy. I mean, you and me, after all these years….this isn't how it's going to go."

He gives her a long, understanding look before he finally relents, pulling away from her and helping her sit up in the tub with a long-suffering sigh.

Serena shoots him a partially amused, partially sympathetic look as she leans toward him, wrapping her long arms around his neck and giving him her most adoring smile. "Listen. Tonight, you go sleep in your bed and I'll sleep in mine, and tomorrow I'll talk to Carter and then…" She gets those sly little dimples in her cheeks and shrugs. "And then," she repeats simply, clambering out of the bathtub and bending down to give him one more quick kiss before she hurries out of the room, well aware that he'll be wide awake and thinking of her all night.

She knows, because she'll be wide awake and thinking of him.

[xo]

They end up spending their sleepless night together rather than apart. They end up on the floor of their living room in a pile of blankets, as they always seem to, cuddled together as they watch late night TV. They eat popcorn and they don't talk much, but every once and a while he catches her eye or touches her hand, and she can't help the way she grins at him.

She falls asleep with his arm looped around her shoulders, her head against his chest.

[xo]

When she wakes up the next morning, sitting up in the pile of blankets and stretching her arms over her head, she sees that Nate is already up, dressed, and moving around the kitchen.

"What're you doing?" she calls out to him, her voice hoarse.

He pokes his head into the living room to give her a winning smile. "Trying to make you breakfast."

She smiles back, brushing her hair out of her face. "_Trying?_"

Nate grimaces sweetly and disappears again. "Yeah, _trying_ is definitely the key word. Because I'm also sort of…failing," he admits, stepping back out of the kitchen once more.

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes fondly. "Will you throw some Pop-Tarts in the toaster already? You're sweet, but we both know you can't cook."

"Yeah, but we agreed to try to learn. Remember?"

She scrunches up her nose. "Yeah, _why_ did we do that?"

Nate laughs, looking at her appreciatively. "I have no idea." His smile softens. "You look so cute right now."

"Yeah, right," she scoffs, but her cheeks feel hot.

"You do," he insists. "I'll make Pop-Tarts while you get dressed."

She stands, untangling her limbs from the blankets, and walks over to him. "Why am I _getting_ dressed?" she purrs, slipping her arms around him.

"Because…you have to talk to Carter, right?" He gently and reluctantly steps away from her. "And I'm coming with you."

Blue eyes wide, she stares after him, lips parted. "Wait – _what_?" she asks dangerously, planting her hands on her hips.

[xo]

"You're being ridiculous," Serena says as she paces after him, walking quickly to catch up. "You don't have to be _jealous_."

"I'm not," he says easily.

"Then – Nate, wait," she sighs, grabbing onto his sleeve to make him stop. "Just let me go talk to him on my own. I'll come home right after. You believe that, right?"

He sighs, smiling at her. "Of course I do. I just want to talk to him first."

She grabs onto his arm when he starts to walk away again, her eyes searching his face. "Chuck already threatened him, and probably his inheritance, and everything else that could ever matter. Maybe this is a pride thing, or something, but…it doesn't matter what he says, Nate. I'm with you. And I want you to believe that just coming from me."

"I do, Serena. I really do. But I still want to talk to me."

She sighs, releasing his sleeve so that she can take his face in both her hands, pulling his mouth to hers. She thinks he intends to protest, but she swallows his words. His arms wrap around her, pulling her close to him and lifting her up the slightest bit so that she ends up standing on the balls of her feet. Someone walking by them whistles and they pull apart, breathless.

"What was that?"

"I'm with you," she repeats, even more firmly now that she's given him proof.

"Yeah," he murmurs, tugging her close to him once more by the arm that's still wrapped tightly around her. He kisses her once more and smiles brightly. "But I'm still coming with you."

"_Natie_," she whines as she trails after him, still holding on to his arm, but he's made it clear by now that there's nothing she can do to change his mind. "Hey, wanna get a room at the Plaza?" she asks in a half-hearted attempt to distract him as she trips down the sidewalk at his side.

"Later," he agrees easily without looking back.

[xo]

They find Carter outside the hotel he's staying at, loading bags into his limo.

"Hey!" Serena calls out, letting go of Nate's hand. "You're leaving?" She makes eye contact with him and tries to apologize wordlessly for Nate's presence there.

Carter nods, smiling neutrally at them both. "Going back to Dubai." He shrugs. "It's where I belong."

She sighs and tries to smile at him as she nods, glancing over her shoulder back at Nate. He steps forward to shake Carter's hand, and they seem to have a quiet, telepathic conversation. "Thank you for taking care of her," Nate says lowly, which would make Serena bristle under any other circumstances. The _I'll take it from here_ goes unsaid, and it warms her heart. Nate releases Carter's hand, shooting him a warning look, and leans in to kiss Serena's cheek. "I'll see you at home."

Her eyes widen. "That's it?" she asks quietly.

Nate nods. "That's it."

She watches as he walks off, disappearing back into the crowds, and then turns to Carter wearing a regretful smile. "I'm sorry," she says earnestly.

"I know you are. I am, too."

Tears sting her eyes. "Carter, a part of me really wants to want you. Like, _really._ But…the thing is, it's not about what I want, really. It's about how it is, about what I _should_ want, you know?" She shrugs helplessly, looking at him apologetically. "And even if I chose you…it'd still be him. It's always been him. Nothing's ever going to change that." She smiles slightly. "Though you came kind of close."

He reaches out to hug her briefly. "I'll be in touch, okay? I'll keep you updated if I find out anything more about your father."

"No." She shakes her head. He doesn't need the responsibility of looking after her, not after this. "You don't have to do that. It's not your problem anymore."

He gives her a small, almost secretive smile. "Sure it is." He steps away from her. "Take care of yourself, Serena. I hope you and Nate are happy."

"You take care, too," she tells him, managing a real smile. "We will be." That, if nothing else, she can promise him.

[xo]

She wanders into Central Park to clear her head and finds Nate there, standing by the pond where they used to race his toy sailboats as little kids, his hair adorably tousled by the wind. She feels a pulse of _always_, like electricity in the hair, when she remembers those sunny summer afternoons and he turns to look at her.

"Hey, you," he says tenderly and quietly, but she hears him, even from a few feet away.

"Hey back," she whispers.

Then they both laugh, at each other and at themselves for taking so very long to come to this point. He opens his arms and she dashes toward him with a giddy squeal, practically tackling him. She wraps her legs around his waist and kisses him hungrily, her lips drifting to his cheeks, forehead, chin, and the tip of his nose. She buries her face in his neck, giggling, as her feet touch the ground once again. She takes a moment just to breathe him in before she tilts her chin up to look at him.

"Let's go home," she says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They each keep an arm wrapped around one another as they walk, trudging through the late autumn leaves back to their apartment. He can't help but think about all the times they walked through this park – holding hands, he's given her piggybacks, chasing one another – and all the times he wanted to be walking through this park like _this_, with her as his and he as hers.

[xo]

They overestimate their own self-control. Their coats are both abandoned in the hallway outside their apartment, along with her gloves, and she shoves him through the doorway without thinking about it once. Their jeans and shirts – hers has buttons, one of which he manages to break - are contributed to the constant mess that is their living room floor, and they stumble into his room because the doorway is a few inches closer.

She sinks into his über-expensive sheets and smiles breathily up at him as he settles his body over hers. He's so gentle with her but he's kissing her fervently enough that she knows that he craves her that way she aches for him. She pulls back oh-so-slightly so that she can gulp in some air and shakes her head the slightest bit, almost in disbelief.

"What?" Nate murmurs, taking her chin in his hand and pulling her in for another kiss, packed with longing. "Are you okay?" he asks, tucking her hair out of her face.

"Yeah," she whispers. "It's just…you and me. You know?" she asks him, searching his blue eyes with her own.

"I _know_," he says earnestly, meaningfully, but his words are accompanied by a grin that's one shade away from lascivious. She gives him a chiding look and he softens his expression. "I love you," he tells her.

She sighs, a mixture of contentment and protest. "That's not why I stopped. I was just a little overwhelmed. You don't have to say –"

"But I mean it," he cuts her off. "I love you, and God, do I _want_ you."

Serena smiles at him, arching her back a bit as she tilts her chin up to his. "So have me," she murmurs, nipping at his lips, but he pulls away from her, shaking his head.

Confused, she settles back down against the bed, breathing hard. "What?"

He gives her a pointed look, smirking.

She rolls her eyes and scrunches her nose. "I love you, too, you idiot," she tells him softly, her fingertips resting against his cheeks as she smiles brightly.

Nate kisses the smile off her lips until all she can feel is pleasure and awe and love, all mixed together in the flawless familiarity of _Nate_. It's just like their first time in that sense, just like everything they do together, just like always.

A perfect fit.


	16. 3x16: Breakfast at Chuck's

**A/N: **I spoil you. Admit it. Keep up those reviews. :)

**3x16**

**[Breakfast at Chuck's]**

Two mornings later, after having spent the majority of the past forty-eight hours in Nate's bed, Serena wakes up to the sound of her phone ringing. Sighing, she buries her face in Nate's chest, trying to block out the sound while he tightens his arms around her.

Blowing out her breath, she rolls away from him, reaching out for her phone, which she's pretty sure is somewhere on the floor.

"No," Nate protests sleepily, trying to pull her back to him. She gives in to his grasp, leaning in to kiss him before resuming her search more studiously.

"I've got to get it; that's Blair's ringtone," she tells him.

When she finally unearths her phone, she sits back at Nate's side with a sigh and flips it open. "Hello?" she asks groggily as Nate slips an arm around her and starts kissing her neck. She bats him away half-heartedly. "Blair? Hello? I know it's you."

"You had sex," Blair declares over the phone in her usual authoritative tone, though she sounds a little giddy about it.

"What…?" Serena laughs lightly, making a face even though her best friend can't see her.

Blair sighs heavily. "Don't play coy, S., it's beneath you."

"Um, thank you?"

There's a scuffle on the other end of the phone that involves a deep, male voice, Blair shrieking, the sound of what may or may not be a slap, and that same voice yelling something. Serena tilts her ear toward Nate's and holds the phone out so that they can both hear whatever's going on. Blair returns to the phone and says breathlessly and sweetly, "You're welcome."

"B., what _was_ that?"

"Chuck asked if you were naked right now," she replies, as if it should be obvious – which, in a way, it should.

Serena pulls the sheet she's lying under a little closer to her chest as she and Nate share an amused look. "Tell my…brother…he's a perv," she sighs. "Blair, is there a point to this phone call, other than to announce to me something I already knew, because I was there?"

"So you _admit_ it," Blair gloats. "You had sex."

"A lot of sex," Nate chimes in, and Serena's jaw drops as she shoves him away from the phone, so that he's sprawled out on his back on the other side of the bed.

"You know you love me," she tells her huskily, his hands slipping beneath the sheets to tickle her ribs. And she does, the way he looks in that moment, with his toned upper body exposed and tanned against the white sheets won't let her think about anything _but_ how very much she loves him.

"Stop!" she squeals as he this her most ticklish spot, momentarily forgetting about Blair on the phone. She lets him pull her body down so that she's sprawled half on top of him and gives him a long, languorous kiss.

"Still here!" Blair's mildly annoyed voice chirps irritably from the phone. "What are you guys, bunny rabbits?"

"Sorry, B.," Serena replies, wiping her tingling lips with the back of her hand as she sits up once again, determined to focus. Chuck and Blair are just as, if not more, publicly affectionate with one another as of late, and she's always been just a little bit shameless, and it's _Nate_, so she's not remotely embarrassed. "So…what's up?"

"What's up is that you and Nate are on GG making out in Central Park and it's _all_ anyone's talking about, and I can't believe that you didn't call me first," she huffs, but good-naturedly. She can't really be mad when Serena sounds so happy.

"I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"If you guys can put some ice on it for a few hours, Chuck and I want to see you," Blair demands.

There's a long silence that makes the brunette uneasy. "_What_?" she asks aggressively. She hears Serena giggle. "_What is it?"_

"Blair…did you just say _put some ice on it_?"

She doesn't need to see her best friend to know that Blair's rolling her eyes. "Serena, I miss you. Can you two please come hang out with us already? You're our best friends. We haven't all been together in so long."

Serena can feel herself melting as Nate sits up behind her and wraps her up in a hug, kissing her hair. She leans back into his arms and asks quietly, "And it's all good? Chuck and Nate? _You_ and Nate?"

"Yeah," Blair says mutedly but certainly. "It's all good."

She lifts one hand, resting it at the back of Nate's neck as she glances up at him, smiling happily. "Okay, B. Drinks at the Palace, then?"

"Sounds perfect, S.," Blair agrees warmly. "We'll see you there in fifteen?"

"Mm-hm," she agrees just as Nate's lips capture hers and he carefully manoeuvres their bodies so that she's lying on top of them. After years and years of longing for each other, neither of them can get enough; her cell gets abandoned on her pillow. "I love you so much," she tells Nate seriously, her brilliant blue eyes sparkling at him.

"Show me," he tells her cheekily, his hands pushing the sheet that covers her away. His eyes are full of too much emotion for her to name or even absorb.

"Ugh; God," Blair mutters. "Okay, we'll make it half an hour!" she yells, hoping they'll hear her, before she hangs up. "Shower first, _please_!"

[xo]

When their cab pulls up in front of the hotel they spill out together, holding hands, and Nate instantly spots his grandfather and a couple of his cousins. Knowing he has to go say hello, he kisses Serena quickly and tells her he'll be right back, insisting that he doesn't want to expose her to his family and ruin the day. Laughing, she kisses him back and watches him run off before wandering toward the doors of the hotel, where Chuck is standing.

He smirks at her, of course. "Sis, you're positively…_glowing_."

She shoots him a wry grin, for once not bothering to correct him about calling her 'sis'. "You too," she replies sweetly, arching one of her eyebrows, well aware that the descriptor will bother him.

Chuck balks, as predicted. "I don't…_glow_."

"Yeah, you do."

"I do not."

"You do _too_," she tells him firmly, and then gives him a hug, because she's in one of those moods where she loves everyone. He hugs her back, a bit awkwardly but still warmly. "So, why isn't Blair here?" she asks him.

"Her mother called with some sort of fashion emergency," Chuck tells her with a fond shake of his head. "She'll be back soon."

"Okay," Serena replies easily as she studies him, unable to keep a grin from pulling her lips upward. She keeps on looking at him, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

He glares at her. "I am _not_ glowing!"

She nods as if she wholeheartedly agrees with him. "Mm-hm. Yep. Of course you're not. Whatever."

Chuck rolls his eyes, but she catches a smile.

"So, I heard you had a little…talk…with Carter," she tells him, planting one hand on her hip and tilting her head to the side, waiting for him to explain himself.

He nods. "I was looking out for you. And for Nate."

"I…I appreciate it and everything, Chuck, that you would want to that for us both, but we can take care of ourselves."

He scoffs and turns to face her straight on. "Serena, how old are you?"

"Eighteen," she says blankly. The answer is obvious, but he's clearly leading somewhere.

"Right. And at what age do you think you started noticing boys?"

Baffled, she shrugs. "I don't know…maybe four or five?"

"So that's twelve or thirteen years. Twelve or _thirteen _years. That's how long you've had your eye on Nathaniel, and about as long as he's lusted after you. Thirteen years. Blair and I were a mess, but we managed to get it together in _two_." He lifts his eyebrows victoriously. "What were you saying, again…that you two can take care of yourselves? You can't. And from the expression on your face today, I think you'd agree that this is long overdue."

She doesn't have anything to say to that.

"So, sis, you're welcome," he smarms triumphantly as they both squint into the setting sun, searching for their significant others.

Serena pouts to herself. "Well, you're still _glowing_," she insists, shooting him an equally jubilant look.

[xo]

After drinks, tipsy and elated, all four of them collapse on the couch in Chuck's suite, exhausted.

"So," Chuck muses as he regards Nate and Serena, his arm wrapped securely around Blair's shoulders. "The best friend and the boyfriend. You two made it here. I never would have guessed."

"Shut up, Chuck," Serena berates him, shooting Blair a brief, apologetic look. "You did the same thing to Nate and Blair!"

Nate laughs. "_Burn_," he tells his best friend pointedly, something he'd never say if he weren't inebriated and hadn't just landed the girl he always wanted.

"They were broken up," Chuck counters his step-sister.

"For what, an _hour_?" Serena asks, shaking her head.

Chuck's eyes flit up and down her body. "I guess we're more alike than you ever wanted to admit, S."

"Perish the thought," she says dryly.

"What _matters_," Blair interrupts, resting her head tiredly against Chuck's shoulder. "Is that we're all happy now. Right?" Her eyes flutter open so that she can look over at Nate and Serena.

Serena smiles, grabbing her best friend's hand and giving it a squeeze. "Yeah, we're all happy now."

"We should go home," Nate sighs, glancing at his girlfriend. "It's late."

Chuck shakes his head, gesturing a doorway. "You two can have that room, Blair and I will take the master," he says, getting off the couch and extending his hands to help his girl to her feet. He winks at Nate. "Soundproof walls."

The boys exchange a look that has both the girls rolling their eyes before they grasp their boyfriends' hands and drag them off to their assigned rooms.

[xo]

Serena walks out of the room she shared with Nate the next morning wearing clothes borrowed from Blair – of course her best friend had practically an entire wardrobe at Chuck's suite – with her hair messy, her eyes bleary, and her smile wide. Nate and Chuck are sitting on either side of the bar laughing about something. She walks over, covering Nate's eyes with her hands, and tilts her head to give him a kiss. "G'morning," she murmurs against his lips before she take a seat on his lap, one arm looped around his neck.

"Good morning," he replies huskily, leaning in to kiss her again. Her hair falls in a curtain over their faces, hiding them away for a moment.

"Mm," she purrs happily when they pull apart. He tastes good and feels good and it's all just good. "Hey, Chuck," she greets her stepbrother, glancing over at him.

He's regarding them with amused-but-happy eyes. "Morning, sis," he replies easily, sliding a full mug of steaming coffee across the bar to her.

Blair plods into the room in a lacy nightgown, blinking in the light, and sidles up to Chuck instantly, kissing him lazily. "Coffee?" she requests, smiling when he immediately hands her a cup.

Serena looks over at them, pleased to see them looking so very happy and comfortable with one another, and throws her boyfriend another smile, giving him a kiss before she gets to her feet and starts whining to Chuck about wanting an omelette while Blair sips her coffee and Nate argues that they should go out to eat.

It feels like it used. It feels like it will in the future. It feels _so damn good_, all four of them together like this, like always.

It feels like nothing more and nothing less than exactly how it's supposed to be.


	17. 3x17: Double Trouble

**3x17**

**[Double Trouble]**

_Well, kiddies, you heard it here first. Our old UES kings and queens are back on top – together. Like, _together_. That's right, I'm talking about N, C, B, and S. The four of them were spotted tumbling out of C's limo late last night, tipsy and touchy-feely. S and B were attached at the hip, hands clasped. C was heard calling N by his full name in that annoyingly endearing way of his. C and S were looking every bit the sexy stepsiblings they are with a cozy goodbye hug, and N and B even gave each other farewell cheek smooches! Looks like nothing but love between all our besties. And what of our couples? C and B were looking beautiful, powerful, and in love as per usual. N and S looked gorgeous, adorable…and pretty darn in love themselves. Our royal foursome reigning once more, it seems, and looking good doing it. Aw. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. _

Blair laughs, flipping her phone closed after reading the latest posting aloud. "Gossip Girl's officially obsessed with us again," she says with a sigh.

"Aw, c'mon, B.," Serena teases her. "Don't you feel a little warm and fuzzy inside, too?"

The brunette rolls her eyes but admits, "Maybe a little."

They're all sitting in the fluffy, light snow in Central Park, already past the point where they care about how wet they're getting. They're soaked from their snowball fight and they're still warm, though Nate knows it won't last too long. He feels free and happy in a way he never has before, sitting on the ground with the three most important people in his life, Serena's thigh pressed against his.

Chuck sighs as he tilts his head back to let at the sky, bright blue and speckled by the slowly descending snowflakes. "We should give her something to talk about," he suggests lazily.

Serena sits up eagerly, leaning into Nate a bit more. "Sometimes I love how you think," she can't help but compliment her stepbrother.

Blair slips her mitten-encased hands into Chuck's gloved ones to warm them up. "What's your plan?" she asks, arching her eyebrows, challenging him. Nate can't help but note that things seem just a little bit tense between the golden couple.

Serena makes a face, resting her head on Nate's shoulder. "Yeah…what _haven't_ we done?"

"More like what haven't _you_ done," Blair teases, making a playfully imperious face.

"I'm sorry – limo sex," Serena replies simply, mimicking her best friend's facial expression.

"Bar sex," Blair retorts instantly.

"What about –"

"Okay, stop, stop," Nate intervenes. "You two could go on all day."

"Which solidifies my sister's point," Chuck adds, nodding toward Serena. "What _haven't_ we done?"

"Chuck. Can you please, _please_, stop referring to me as your sister?" Serena pleads with him, pouting.

"Well, if you're going to _beg…_"

Blair pulls her hands from his to hit his arm and Nate laughs, getting to his feet and holding his hands out to Serena. "Come on, you guys, it's getting cold. Let's get warmed up."

They stand up and start walking out, wrapping their arms around each other, laughing all the while as they pull out all possible innuendo out of Nate's words.

[xo]

"Okay, I've got it," Blair announces, blowing on her hot chocolate to cool it down. She's sitting on the couch in Nate and Serena's apartment in one of Nate's t-shirts and a pair of Serena's sweatpants, curled up next to Chuck. "We're going on a double date."

Serena, sprawled out on the floor under a blanket and next to Nate, shoots her a strange look. "B., these past few weeks have been one, long double date."

"Yeah, but not a _real_ one," Blair insists. "We're going to dress up and go eat dinner at a restaurant like a normal, boring date."

Nate makes a face and teases her, "And why would we _want_ to do that?"

"_Because_. We just should. I've _always_ wanted to have a double date, just before I thought it would be me and Nate…and you and Chuck," she tells her best friend, making a playful face.

"That's…disturbing," Serena manages, sticking her tongue out at Chuck.

"Thanks, sis," he says with a roll of his eyes.

Serena sits all the way up, gulping down the rest of her hot chocolate. She knows that Blair and Chuck have been arguing lately because Blair wants more attention than he gives his work, and she knows it's not serious and that they'll be perfectly fine, but it's strange to be the one in the more stable relationship, even if it's temporary. She feels an inexplicable need to take care of her friends, to herd them out to dinner, to make sure everyone's happy. It's not unlike when they were young and Blair and Chuck would get snippy at each other. "Okay," she says firmly. "You two go home, get dressed up, and we'll go on a double date." Chuck makes a face and she glares at him. "Go. _Now_."

[xo]

"Do you think they're okay?" Nate asks from where he sits on Serena's bed, watching her curl her hair.

"Who, Blair and Chuck?" she asks, meeting his eyes in the mirror. She smiles at the obvious concern in his expression, setting the curling iron down and turning to face him. "Yeah, I'm sure they are. Every couple fights, you know? They can't all be perfect like you and me, babe." She winks at him and turns back around to resume her task.

Nate shakes his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm sitting here worried about Chuck and Blair." He smiles at her through the mirror and adds, "I can't believe I'm sitting here at all."

Serena grins, turning around and crawling onto the bed to kiss him. "Well, you better believe it, because it's real."

"And I'm so glad," he murmurs against her lips.

"Good." She smiles. "Now get out."

"Uh…excuse me?"

"You can't be in here while I get dressed! You'll be distracting, and besides, you need to see only the finished product to get the full effect."

"The full effect, huh?"

She nods, brushing her lips against his once more and says, slowly and sultrily: "I'm going for…_unbelievable_."

[xo]

"You guys are late," Blair snaps when Nate and Serena finally arrive. She's frowning, but Chuck's got his arms wrapped around her from behind and she's leaning into him contentedly, so that's a good sign.

"What can I say?" Nate asks with a smirk, pulling Serena closer via the arm he's got wrapped around her waist and kissing her cheek. "My girl's unbelievable."

She gives him a private smile before turning back to Chuck and Blair. "You two look cuddly. Did you kiss and make up?" she inquires knowingly.

"More than kiss," Chuck says lasciviously, and they all groan because they should have seen that one coming.

They sit at a small table, a booth in a corner, all close together, the girls in the middle. They're wearing gorgeous black dresses and the guys are wearing impressive suits and they're all very much aware of how good they look, of the stares they keep receiving from the restaurant's other patrons. They order a ton of food strategically so that they can all share and end up laughing their way through most of the meal. It makes Serena laugh, as she listens to Nate and Blair squabble good-naturedly: they all still treat each other like they did when they were five, only now the girls don't shriek when the boys try to kiss them. She feels so good, something close to fulfilled, as she sits there at the table with Nate's hand on her knee and Blair's arm pressed against hers, handing a piece of cheesecake across the table to Chuck.

The restaurant they're at is expensive and classy but trying to be cool, and consequently there are kitschy decorations and piped-in radio music. When Serena hears a Pitbull song she can never get enough of, she scrambles across Nate's knees, grabbing his hands and pulling him up to dance even though this isn't the kind of restaurant that really facilitates dancing. Serena reaches around Nate to grab Blair's wrist and pull her up, and Blair latches onto Chuck's hand and drags him after her, unwilling to dive into yet another one of Serena's plans on her own. It doesn't take long for Chuck to lose his propriety and Blair to lose her self-consciousness, and Nate never has to be persuaded to dance with her. They're young and beautiful and together, so why not dance and let everyone stare?

Serena winks at Chuck after Nate dips her boisterously, making her giggle. "There you go, _bro_. Something we haven't done before."

[xo]

_Hey, people. No, your eyes do not deceive you: that's C and B, getting their groove on with N and S, who were being adorably rambunctious, just the way we love them. They were spotted at that new restaurant you've been dying to try but can never get into. Of course, N, S, C and B were escorted in with nary a reservation. When you're as beautiful and as rich as they are, you never need one. Don't they look happy?! These four never seem to spend a moment apart lately, and they're giving me a lot to talk about…something like love, love, love!_


	18. 3x18: An Intimate Case Study

**3x18**

**[An Intimate Case Study]**

"Hey." Nate leans down to kiss her, unable to think of anything but how cute she looks with a pencil stuck in her hair, wearing one of his hooded sweaters, books with highlighted passages surrounding her. "I brought you some ice cream."

"Oh, I love you," she sighs, accepting it and grasping a handful of his shirt, pulling him into another kiss. "And not just because of that." She pops the lid off of the tub and sticks her spoon in, taking a bite as he settles in on the floor at her side. "Argh, I _hate_ finals," she pouts, offering him a bite. As he swallows, she asks, "How are you not stressed?!"

"I am, believe me," he says with a sigh, leaning back, getting comfortable. "I worked really hard to get into this school on my own merit, and keeping that up's been a lot of work. I am so stressed for all of my finals, but I cope better moving around than just sitting still and stressing out." He glances at the ice cream she holds, the flowers he bought her yesterday, the boxes of Pop-Tarts around them, the great big plushie giraffe he bought the day before the flowers and the Spice Girls CDs that came the day before the giraffe, because he remembers how Serena and Blair used to dance around singing their songs. "And apparently retail therapy is my new thing," he frowns.

Serena giggles, abandoning her books for a moment and stretching her arms up over her head. As she lets her arms drop again, the sleeve of his sweater slips down one of her shoulders, revealing that she's wearing absolutely nothing underneath. "Well, if you keep buying me presents, I don't mind." With Nate, she doesn't really feel like she needs most of the material things that have always been such a big part of her life, but she loves this new habit of his that involves buying her random, relatively inexpensive gifts on a daily basis. "You're going to do so good, I know you will," she assures him, pulling the sleeve of the sweater back up.

He reaches over, shooting her the kind of private grin that leaves her breathless, and tugs her sleeve down again. "Thank you," he says earnestly before he kisses the bare skin of her shoulder, his lips trailing up her neck, pressing to her jaw, her cheek, and finally her lips. "You're going to do great, too," he promises her.

"I hope," she sighs, staring down at her books. "My brain feels full. Ugh." She glances over at him, one hand cupping his cheek. "Maybe we should take a break, you know? Go somewhere and do something to take our minds off of all of…this," she says, looking disdainfully at her study materials.

"Baby, if we leave, the only result is going to be me buying you a bunch of stuff and us flunking finals," he tells her gently.

Serena giggles sweetly. "Did you just call me _baby_?"

He can feel himself blushing and he hates it. Only Serena. "Well, um…" He searches his mind for a way to save himself. "You do, um, have this whole _Dirty Dancing_ thing going on," he manages, gesturing to her ensemble.

She glances down as if she has to remind herself what she's wearing – his sweater and bright pink leggings with a hole worn into one of the knees – and laughs. "I would say it's more _Footloose_," she argues gently. Leaning in close, she smirks at him, licking her lips, and whispers, "But you had me at _dirty_."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she murmurs just before she kisses him.

He loves this. He loves her. And he tells her so.

"I love you, too. You know that."

"It doesn't get old, though."

She giggles happily. "Natie, you're such a softie."

"Don't tell anyone," he warns her teasingly, cupping her chin in his hand as he pulls her into another kiss.

"You mean anyone…like Chuck, for example?" she asks when they pull apart, her eyes glittering.

"You wouldn't dare," he growls.

"Well," she replies innocently, batting her eyelashes, "I'm going to have to get you back for distracting me from my _very_ important schoolwork somehow."

"You know how you just said you wanted to get away from it for a bit?"

"Uh-huh…"

"I think you're going about doing that the wrong way."

She frowns playfully. "What exactly are you saying, Mr. Archibald?"

"I'm saying," he begins as he gets to his feet, "that maybe the key –" he pauses for dramatic effect as he picks up her house key and throws it aside " – is to…_stay in_," he concludes, flicking closed both of the locks on their apartment door.

Serena smiles coyly up at him. "Are you putting me on house arrest?"

"I'm putting _us_ on house arrest. Besides," he adds with a shrug, "this is nothing for a hardened criminal such as yourself, right? You spent, what…six hours in jail?"

"_Hey!"_ she cries out laughingly in objection. "Six and a half, thank you very much, and nearly all of those were by choice."

He laughs as he sits back down next to her, his eyes lost somewhere else.

"What?" she asks softly, lost in his baby blues.

"Nothing. You just…you remind me of yourself sometimes." Nate chuckles. "That doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"Not really," she agrees sympathetically.

"It's just, sometimes you say these things, like you just did, and it reminds me of you at some other age or in some other place. Like when you just said six and a half…you used to do that when we were little, when anyone asked you your age. Six _and a half_," he mimics her.

"Oh my God!" she cries, covering her face with her hands. "I _did_ do that. Oh, I can't believe you remember that. That's awful, I was so lame. How is that a good thing, that you remember stuff like that?"

"It's _not_ that bad. You were cute. And you must have memories of me like that – and probably more embarrassing ones. Right?"

"Yeah, I guess I do," she sighs, grinning wickedly. "It's kind of cool that I know _everything_ about you. But does…I don't know, does that take away from us somehow? Are there any surprises left?"

He laughs, shaking his head to deny her words. "You will _always_ find some way to surprise me, Serena."

"Of course I will. But you…you're kinda predictable, Natie," she tells him, her eyes wide and dancing with mischief.

"Predictable?" he says as if she's deeply offended him. "_Predictable_?"

Never one to back down, she nods and says, "You heard me."

"Damn, the gloves are off today, aren't they?" he laughs. "I will _give_ you _predictable_," he says menacingly, and her bright blue highlighter falls to the floor as he tackles her onto the rug.

"Nate!" she squeals, "I –" She's cut off when his hands sneak up her (his) sweater and he kisses her. She sighs beneath him, running a hand through her hair. "Now you're distracting me _and_ seducing me."

"Mm…I'm a multi-tasker like that," he teases her as she toys with the buttons on his shirt, popping the first couple open.

"Multi-tasking's so sexy," she giggles back.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. _Very. _But…"

"No!" he protests immediately, burying his face in her neck. "Don't finish that sentence."

She laughs and pushes him away lightly, giving him an apologetic look as she does just what he asked her not to do. "But Natie, I need to _study_," she whines.

Sighing, he rolls to her side and reaches over her body to take a look at her book. "Okay, fine, studying. What do we have here?" He glances at the cover and can't help but grin widely. "Human Sexuality in Psychology?" he asks, trying to hold in his laughter. "I'm pretty sure I can help with that."

Serena looks at him very seriously, holding back her own giggles and trying to enforce the fact that she truly wants to get a good grade. "It's really interesting, actually. And I want to do well in this one – and do _not_ make jokes about me and sex and doing well, Chuck and Blair already laughed at that. It's been done."

He frowns playfully. "Chuck and Blair should not know about things involving you and sex before I do."

She locks eyes with him and says, "I'll make it up to you. Now will you please help me study?"

Nate nods indulgently. He's taking the same intro course with another professor. "It _is_ interesting," he concedes. "Did you get to the chapter about sexsomnia?"

Serena's eyes light up brilliantly. "You know this stuff!?"

"Babe, you _know_ I know this stuff."

She pouts at him, her eyes dark and unimpressed. "Can we _please_ get through this without making sex jokes?"

Nate holds up his hands in surrender. "Okay. I promise."

"_Thank_ you. Now." She sits up and nudges him with her shoulder so that he'll do the same. She plunks her heavy textbook down in front of me and says, "I need you to teach me _everything_ you know."

There's a long silence in which Nate grits his teeth and clenches his jaw, and Serena avoids his eyes at all costs, and they lose it at the exact same moment.

"I'm sorry," he gasps out through his laughter. "You set that one up too perfectly."

"I know," she giggles, "I know."

As they calm down, her eyes flit over his body and she bites the corner of her bottom lip, watching as he tries not to stare at the skin exposed by her (his) too-big sweater. "So, are you gonna give me that lesson, or what, teach?" she asks him quietly, reaching out to rest her hand over his, lacing their fingers together.

He smirks at her adoringly. "Will you go put on your uniform, Miss van der Woodsen?"

Her jaw drops as she laughs. "What would the point of putting it on be…" she asks innocently, leaning in to whisper in his ear: "…if I'm just going to take it off."

Nate swallows hard. "Are you going to get mad at me for distracting or seducing you?"

Serena forgets about her books and her marks as she pushes him back against the floor and straddles him; his hands start pushing her sweater upward. "I think this counts as…_studying_," she insists, pulling of her sweater and kisses him hard before he can say anything else.


	19. 3x19: Electric Fountain

**A/N: **Yeah, you _know_ you want fountain sex. Don't deny it. Sorry I can't write it as well as Cecily, or her ghostwriter, or _whoever_. Nonetheless, reviews are love! :) I know it's sad that this is coming to an end, but I have a million other things to write and I need a little more free time in my life! I appreciate your enthusiasm, though.

**3x19**

**[Electric Fountain]**

Spring hits New York City in the form of a merciless heat wave.

Nate and Serena try to devise clever ways to beat the heat. They drink anything cold and eat lots of ice cream and put the three fans they have in Nate's room while they lie on his bed, staring at the ceiling, too hot to do anything more than breathe. One weekend they go to the Hamptons – even though Blair lectures them on how very tacky it is to get to the Hamptons ahead of season – but they go anyway and they spend as much time as possible in the relatively cool water. When they arrive back in the city, it's unbearably sweltering, and they barely make it back to their apartment before they collapse in a heap on the floor.

"Natie, I'm _hot_," Serena whines as if he can do something about it, fanning herself with a magazine one of them took both on the trip there and on the trip back but neither of them ever got around to reading.

"Yeah, you are," he agrees lazily. He's too hot to even think properly, but he can agree on that fact.

She whacks him with the magazine. "_Nate_," she pouts, perspiration beading on her forehead.

"Baby, what do you want me to do about it?" he sighs, reaching over to gently smooth her hair out of her face. It seems like they spend a rather odd amount of time sprawled out on their living room floor, but he definitely doesn't have enough stamina to move, and from the sound of it she doesn't either.

"Something. Anything."

He takes a moment to mull it over and manages to come up with a plan. "Okay." Reluctantly, he stands, holding both hands out to her. "Let's go."

"_Where_?"

"No questions," he lectures her, pulling her to her feet with ease. "Follow me."

"But Natie…"

"Hey, you remember a few days ago, when you asked me if there were any surprises yet?"

"Yes," she sighs. She already knows where this is going.

"Okay, well." He smiles endearingly at her. "Welcome to your surprise, Serena van der Woodsen."

[xo]

He takes her to his old apartment, the penthouse where he grew up, the penthouse his grandfather paid for them to live in once more. His mother is away at some opera or some theatre production or some banquet fundraiser in a small ex-USSR country, the name of which he can't pronounce. That doesn't matter. What matters is that they have air conditioning.

"Oh, you brought me somewhere _blissful_," Serena sighs as she collapses into a chair. She gives him an approving look. "This was a very good surprise."

"Yeah, I thought you'd like it."

"C'mere and sit with me," she tells him, scooching over in her chair. "I feel like I haven't touched you in days; it's been too hot."

If he was in a less hazy state of mind, he might've been able to make a joke about her words, but he's tired and he's _missed_ touching her over these past few days, even in the most innocent ways, so he sits down in her chair and lets her snuggle up to him.

Their skin seems to stick almost instantly and Serena sighs, pressing a kiss to his jaw and pulling back, frowning apologetically at him. "It's still so hot," she breathes. Then her eyes light up, a mischievous smile causing her lips to curve upward. Nate steals a kiss, making her giggle before she says, "Do you still have that fountain out back?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think your mom has any beer?"

"I'm sorry, have you met my mother?" he asks her with a sceptical smile by way of reply.

"Right. Stupid question."

"I bet she's got all kinds of expensive liquor, though. Wanna see what we can find?"

She shakes her head, scrunching up her nose. "This is the kind of day that demands beer."

"You don't even _like_ beer."

Serena glares playfully at him. "Okay, firstly, mister, when the day demands beer, you _drink beer_, not matter whether or not you like it. And secondly…please don't tell Chuck that. And _thirdly_…" She looks at him with wide, pleading eyes. "Will you go get some?"

"_Serena…_" he groans. "It's _hot_ out there."

She just keeps looking at him like that, because they both know it's only a matter of time until he relents.

The heat gets to him and he gives in easily. "Okay, I'm going."

"I'll be here when you get back," she promises, delighted that he's agreed, and kisses all over his face. "You might have to look for me," she adds with a wink as he heads out onto the sun-beaten sidewalks. He's too tired and hot to really understand what she means.

[xo]

When he returns, toting beer as per her request, he can't find her right away. He looks through all of the penthouse's many rooms, but there's no sign of her.

"Serena?" he calls out, stumped and a little bit startled by her disappearance.

Then it clicks; he remembers her mentioning the fountain earlier, and saying that he might have to look for her. He wanders down to the doors that lead out into the lawn, noting that the blue tank top she was wearing has been shed right by the door. He can't help the smile that starts to form when he sees her shorts lying only a few feet away, pooled on the grass. He follows the clothing trail, which ends up only consisting of three items, as the next he stumbles upon is her bra. He looks up and is left speechless when he sees her sitting in his mother's pretentious Venus de Milo fountain in all her naked glory, giving him a sly-but-somehow-sweet smile. "Hey, you," she says quietly.

He clears his throat. "Are you seriously telling me that you weren't wearing underwear all day?"

Serena shrugs. "It's hot!" she cries out in explanation. "Speaking of which, get in here and join me."

Nate puts the beer down, pulls his t-shirt up over his head and kicks off his shoes, shorts, and boxers as he makes his way over to her and joins her in the fountain. She giggles as she helps him step in and they slip for a moment, hanging on to each other.

He glances dismissively at Venus. "She's got nothing on you when it comes to being a goddess, you know that?"

She smiles at him, almost shyly, and kisses him in a way that's even better than _thank you_.

He grins wryly as he wraps her up in his arms, their limbs getting all tangled up. "We're never going to drink that beer, are we?" he sighs.

Serena sighs too, rolling her eyes. "The day _demanded_ it, Nate. And _I_ demand _you_," she adds, kissing him again, one of her hands slipping down between their bodies.

Taking a sharp breath in, he asks, "Can we do this without falling?"

Her eyes sparkle in that daredevil way that puts him under her spell. "Only one way to find out. Live a little, Archib –"

She doesn't even get to finish her sentence, but she forgets it when he cuts her off with a bruising kiss.

[xo]

They're falling asleep atop the sheets of the bed in the master bedroom as the sun rises up, oh-so-slightly buzzed off the beer they managed to drink sometime around two in the morning, in between making out on the kitchen counter and watching some stupid reality show she's addicted to, pink-y purple hues filling the room, casting over their skin, which is covered in a faint sheen of sweat. Serena kisses him and nuzzles her face into his shoulder sleepily.

"This was a good surprise," she tells him, her voice soft and slow. He doesn't think he's ever been so in love; the side of him she's pressed against is uncomfortably warm but he can't imagine moving.

"You gave me a pretty good surprise, too, you know," he replies, running his fingers through her long blonde hair, which still holds some moisture.

Her eyes close and she relishes the feeling of him. "See, we've still got surprises. We've got enough in us to last a long time."

"Maybe even forever," he says, wearily but meaningfully.

"Yeah," Serena whispers. "We've got enough to last us forever."


	20. 3x20: A Kind of Loving

**3x20**

**[A Kind of Loving]**

When school ends and the lease on the apartment is up, they learn the disadvantage of having lived in such comfortable messiness for almost a year: now they have to clean it up.

Lily sends over movers and cleaners without being asked – they show up one morning at seven fifteen only to be greeted by a very cranky Serena, wearing only one of Nate's shirts when she opens the door – and she has to laugh ruefully at the ways her mother tries to parent her. She scribbles down the company name of the already-well-paid movers and promises to call when they're actually ready to cart their stuff out, and she lets the cleaners barrel in and do a surface job on the place. When they leave, Nate and Serena's things are piled around all over the place and the apartment smells oddly, lemony fresh. That's the moment it stops feeling like home, when the things she's loved tripping over all the time are thrown into boxes and onto beds like junk, and when the place stops smelling like _Nate_, boyish and ashy, and like her signature perfume, and while it's bittersweet, they're ready to leave.

Packing is much less fun than either of them bargained it would be, and the late spring weather brings gushes of rain and heat that don't help their moods. Almost all year, they've been entirely content with each other, but as they move they get snippy.

One morning Nate wakes up, stands, stretches, and wonders where his girl's gotten to. When he wanders out into the living room with bleary eyes, she glances up at him from the box she's packing and glares. "Wanna _help_?"

"I'm sorry," he says calmly, walking across the room and wrapping one arm around her while he kisses her cheek. "I was tired."

"From doing _what_?" she demands. "Playing lacrosse with your buddies in the park yesterday? It's summer, Nate, you don't have anything serious to do. Help me out, here!"

"I'm sorry," he repeats, trying to maintain his calm. She's being a little hypocritical considering she met Blair for drinks the night before. "I'm helping now." He rolls up his non-existent sleeves teasingly, smiling at her. "What do you want me to do?"

Serena shakes her head, elbowing him away. "Never mind, I'll just do it."

Nate blows out his breath in exasperation, running one hand through his hair. "Come on, don't do that. You know I hate it when people do that."

She glances back at him over her shoulder, blue eyes flashing. "Yeah. I do."

"Serena," he says lowly, warning her and pleading with her all at once. "Just let me help you out."

"No," she says stubbornly. "You clearly don't want to. Just go…sit in Central Park or something. It's not like you have adult responsibilities or anything."

He balks. "Adult responsibilities? _You're_ talking to me about adult responsibilities?"

She turns fully to face him, planting her hands on her hips. "What does _that_ mean?"

"It just means…"

"Don't back down," she dares him.

Nate sighs and regards her with gentler eyes, but there's still some hostility in his tone as he says: "You want to explain to me where all this sudden bitchiness is coming from?"

Hurt glares at him through her blue orbs for an instant, like a flash of lightning, but he feels remorseful nonetheless.

"Bitchiness?" she asks quietly. She's not one to get hurt by people's words – she's been the main feature on Gossip Girl for long enough – and at times she's even described herself happily as a bitch, but coming from _his_ mouth the word sounds ugly and cruel and unlike anything she'd ever want to be.

"I didn't mean that," he sighs.

"You know what? Just go. Have fun doing whatever stupid, childish thing you want to do today. I'll send your stuff to your penthouse."

"Serena," he says gently, struck by the choked-up sound of her voice, taking a step toward her.

She takes a couple quick steps back. "I don't want you to touch me right now. I don't want to talk to you right now. I don't really want to _see_ you right now." She stares fixedly at the floor, blinking at a rapid pace. "Maybe it's good that we're moving out when we are," she whispers.

Nate stares at her incredulously. Finally, he agrees quietly, "Maybe it is." He doesn't mean it, but she's starting to hurt him as much as he hurt her, and he knows that this fight is only going to get worse.

Squeezing her eyes shut for a split second, she whirls away from him again, resuming her task without another word as he walks out the door.

It occurs to him as he's wandering aimlessly and morosely that she might have thought that he meant what he said, and it scares him.

It also occurs to him that she might have _actually_ meant what she said, and it scares _the hell_ out of him.

[xo]

Blair swings open the door of Chuck's suite at the palace in only a short, silky black robe and leans against it, her other hand planted on her hip, her head tilted to the side. She clucks her tongue and smiles softly at him. "Someone's in trouble," she says knowingly, reaching down to grab his wrist and tugging him inside.

"How did you –" he begins, baffled, but she cuts him off, obviously deeming any questions he might have unimportant, as she drags him to the couch and sits him down next to Chuck.

"Serena and Nate had a fight," she announces.

"_Really_?" Chuck asks, entirely intrigued, setting his newspaper aside. "Do tell, Nathaniel."

He shrugs. He's still tired. "She says I'm not helping her out enough, with packing to move out and everything. So she told me just not to help, and I called her irresponsible and she called me childish stupid…and I told her she was being a bitch." He winces in anticipation of the moment when Blair hits him upside the head.

"Nate," she berates him, shaking her hand from the impact.

"She was being unreasonable!" he cries in his defence. "But we, uh…we might have said some things we didn't mean. Or at least, I hope we didn't."

"Like what?" Chuck demands.

"Like…that we were glad our lease was up. Like…maybe _we're_ up." The thought is unsteadying; he's glad he's sitting down.

"Oh, you idiot," Blair sighs. She glances at her boyfriend over Nate's head as she stands from her perch on the arm of the couch and tells him, "I'm going to change and go over their to check on Serena."

As she goes, Nate watches his best friend warily, scowling at the look Chuck's giving him. "What, are _you_ going to give me relationship advice now?"

"I _am_ the one with my girl happy right now, aren't I?" He asks, arching one eyebrow, then softens his tone. "Are you alright, Nathaniel?"

He shrugs uncomfortably. "Serena and I…we don't fight."

"_Every_ couple fights," Chuck insists. "You'll figure it out. If you don't, you're a total moron."

Nate laughs, he can't help it. "Thanks, man," he replies dryly.

[xo]

"Serena?" Blair pokes her head into the apartment that Nate and Serena have come to call home over the past year, amazed and slightly appalled that the door was left unlocked. "Hey, sweetie," she adds more quietly when she spots her best friend sitting on the floor, sniffling as she packs a moving box. "Are you okay?"

The blonde looks up at her wearing a rueful smile. "I'm fine. I just…" She frowns. "How did you find out Nate and I fought?"

"Not important," Blair says dismissively, stepping out of her heels and sitting at Serena's side. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Just…" She gestures around at the empty space. "I have no furniture and very little stuff." She holds up the framed photograph she holds, putting it on display. "Remember when you gave us this?"

"At the housewarming party I was wonderful enough to throw for you," Blair replies, wearing a small smile.

She wipes at her eyes. "I don't even know why I'm crying."

"Yeah, you do," the brunette tells her gently.

Serena sighs. "I told him that it was a good thing we were moving out right now. I didn't…I didn't mean it like that, it's just stressful, you know? But…what if he thinks I meant it like that?"

"Look," Blair says seriously, "I know you and Nate don't fight a lot and this is the first time you guys have really said stuff like that, but he _knows_ you, Serena. He knows what you meant. Maybe he's being an idiot right now, but Nate is not so much of an idiot to let you go again." When Serena shakes her head, Blair insists: "I'm _serious_. He missed you. He wouldn't want to miss you again."

Serena can't help but smile slightly; those words are so reminiscent of what seemed like the never-ending conversation she and Nate had when she was afraid of their getting together. "You think so?"

"Know so," Blair responds easily, patting Serena's knee as she stands. "I'm going to go to the bathroom, then I'll help you out, okay?"

The blonde nods, smiling up at her. "Thanks, B."

What seems like a split second after Blair goes into the washroom, Nate walks through the door. Serena's eyes widen and she wonders if it still looks like she's been crying. "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't mean it," he says simply. "I know that we don't fight a lot so I really don't know what the proper etiquette here is, but I'm guessing I'm supposed to allow us both a little more time to cool off…but I don't need anymore time, and I want you to know that I didn't mean any of it."

She bites back a smile. "I didn't, either," she concedes quietly. "I'm sorry I was being bitchy."

"You _weren't_. I shouldn't have said that."

"Well, no, but I was being bitchy. I'm just stressed; this place is a mess. And I…I don't want to leave it," she admits, her eyes filling again.

"The apartment?" he asks her gently. It's a nice place and he's liked living here with her, but it's not worthy of a fight.

She nods, looking small and sad from her position on the floor. "This place brought us back together. I realized that I loved you here. And I know that just because we're leaving it doesn't mean you and I are going to change, because I still feel the same way, but…it's just sad."

"You could have told me that, you know," he says as he walks over to her, sitting close to her, facing her.

"It's also that…I know we're going back to Columbia next year, but I just feel…I feel older. I feel like I need to be responsible and smart and like I really have to make a life for myself. And it's scary."

"I know. I get that, I really do."

"And it doesn't scare you?" she asks sceptically.

"Of course it does. But it doesn't scare me as much if I'm going to be doing it all with you."

Her smile breaks free. "I love you, Natie," she says simply, knowing that he'll understand everything she's feeling.

"I love you, too," he tells her.

Serena's laugh is quiet and watery. "Shortest fight ever?"

He shrugs. "Communication is key and all that." He leans across the box that sits in between them to kiss her.

Blair steps out of the bathroom and smiles. "Oh. Hi. You're back already." She gives them a strange look like she's wondering how that's possible, and it makes Nate and Serena laughs softly. Blair and Chuck have certainly calmed down and settled into life happily with one another, but they'll always have more dramatic break ups and make ups than the two blondes in the group do. "I should leave you two alone," she says, noting the way they're eyeing each other. "But do you two want to stay at Chuck's suite tonight?"

"Thanks, B., but we're okay," Serena replies, pushing the box aside and reaching over to take Nate's hand.

"But…you don't have furniture. You don't have beds or even a couch."

Nate shrugs, grinning. "We'll just sleep here. On the floor."

Blair's expression is priceless, making her giggle, and Nate winks at Serena, warming her heart.

"Thanks for coming over, B.," Serena adds as her best friend makes her way toward the door.

"No problem," Blair says faintly, shooting them a smile. "Have fun on your…floor."

[xo]

Later that night while Nate's lounging on the floor, half-asleep amid a mess of sheets and blankets, he hears Serena rummaging around the kitchen noisily. "What're you looking for, babe?" he calls.

After a moment he hears the crash of a couple pots and pans. "Nathaniel!" she yells, and he knows it's bad because she never calls him that. He grimaces, anticipating another argument and reluctantly asks, "Yeah, baby?" hoping the term of endearment might soften her a bit.

She appears in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen with a serious frown on her lips, but she can't keep acting for long and it quickly morphs into a barely-suppressed smile. "We never learned to cook like we said we would," she pouts, "and we're out of Pop-Tarts!"

"No Pop-Tarts?!" he cries like something incredibly blasphemous has happened. He jumps up and looks around, reading the labels on the boxes. "Uh, Serena…where are our clothes?"

She winces: "I think…I might have let the movers take those boxes already."

"Okay. No, this is okay." He's still got his jeans and his sneakers, which he slips on easily, but he doesn't have any shirts. He tosses Serena his sweater to pull on over her camisole and pyjama shorts, but they quickly realize that she managed to send off all her shoes. "It's okay," he repeats once more, grinning at her as he grabs his wallet.

He gives her a piggyback down the sidewalks until they reach the closest twenty-four hour convenience store. It has a large _No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service_ sign in the window, so he sets her down carefully on the ground and she goes in alone. She emerges nearly ten minutes later with a sad smile on her lips.

"No Pop-Tarts," she tells him mournfully, and they both laugh, because they ran out of their apartment half-dressed in the middle of the night for something that wasn't even there.

He gives her a piggyback home as well, not wanting her to hurt her feet on rocks or broken bottles or anything else potentially dangerous that can be found on a New York City sidewalk. Once their back inside the building that is theirs for only one more night, he sets her down on the stairs and sits at her side, breathless.

Serena holds both of his hands in her own, resting her head against his shoulder. "You know," she says. "This was almost irresponsible."

Nate laughs, squeezing her hands. "And it was definitely a little childish and stupid."

And they realize that it doesn't matter how they make their life, as long as they do it together.


	21. 3x21: The Family Archibald

**3x21**

**[The Family Archibald]**

"This summer's going to be awesome," Serena announces giddily as they walk down the Brooklyn sidewalk under the sun, on their way back home – which, at the moment, is Nate's family's empty penthouse apartment. Nate loves her at all times, but just the smallest, strangest bit more in the summer months. She just _thrives_ in the sunshine, eyes glowing, skin kissed and freckled, blonde hair practically glittering. Not to mention the fact that her long, lithe body is constantly on display due to the minimal clothing she wears. He feels so lucky to be walking with her, their linked hands swinging between their bodies. She lifts their hands and steps ahead of him on the sidewalk, letting him twirl her like they're dancing. He pulls her back to him by the same arm and she giggles, wrapping her arms around him as they walk.

"Definitely awesome," Nate confirms.

"And Dan and Vanessa look happy, don't you think?" she asks with a sweet smile.

"Yeah, they do," he agrees. "But I can't help but think how…intertwined we all are. I mean, our exes our dating each other, and my other ex is dating Chuck Bass, which no one could have ever seen coming, and…"

"Honey," she cuts him off, laughing that light, luxurious, summery laugh of hers. "You're thinking way too much for summertime. Or really, you're just thinking too much for _you_," she jibes, sticking her tongue out.

"Ha," he says dryly.

"I know what you mean. But…it's good. We're finally all happy; we've evened out. Dan and Vanessa are together, Blair and Chuck are together, and most importantly, you and I are together."

Nate nods. "I maintain that we couldn't have seen Bluck coming though."

"_Bluck_?" Serena splutters. "Chuck and Blair's names don't really work well for that whole _Brangelina _thing."

"They could be Chair," he suggests easily, smirking at her. "But my point here is that that was unpredictable, but Dan and Vanessa…" He shakes his head. "We probably should have seen that coming all along."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I bet you they say the same thing about us." She presses her lips together, trying to keep from laughing. "Bluck or Chair, seriously?"

Nate cracks up as well. "Maybe you were right about that whole thinking in the summer thing."

"I'm always ri –" She cuts herself off with a squeal of, "Oh, _puppies!"_ and drags Nate across the street by the hand; they narrowly avoid getting hit by a cab as they hurry to stand in front of the large window of a pet store. "_Oh_," she gasps, melting as she leans toward them, making faces at the small dogs. "They're the cutest things."

He laughs at her, though admittedly, they are pretty cute. He glances at Serena for a long moment in his peripheral vision, then gives her hand a squeeze. "Come on, let's go in."

Her eyes are wide and shiny, sparkling whether from the sun or overload-of-cuteness tears, he's not sure. "Oh, Natie, if we go in I don't know if I'm going to be able to leave without one."

Nate nods. He knows that: it's obvious in her expression, and he knows how she is. "So maybe…we can leave with one."

Her jaw drops. "You want to get a puppy?" she asks, clearly touched and enthusiastic about the idea, but uncertain.

"Yeah," he says softly. "I mean, your birthday's in a month…this is a pretty good gift, right? And we can leave for the Hamptons this weekend – it would be great for a puppy to spend the first couple months of his life running around out there."

"But…what about when we get back, with school and everything?"

"We can get a townhouse instead of an apartment. And our classes don't usually coincide, we'd be able to be home taking care of it."

"A puppy…" she muses, looking adoringly at the little ones in the window. "Do you think we could really take care of it? I mean, we're not exactly that awesome at taking care of _ourselves_ yet."

"So maybe it'd be good for us," he counters her. "I think we'll be okay. We wouldn't hurt it or anything, babe."

Serena nods slowly, inhaling deeply as she clings to his hand. "Okay. Let's just go in and look."

It feels like she falls in love with every single one of the puppies; they're all incredibly adorable. She coos over them while Nate looks on, laughing both at the clumsy litters of tiny dogs and at her. She wanders through the pet store to get a look at them all while Nate talks logistics with the manager – food, collar, vet, etc. She smiles at the kittens but passes them by: Blair's old cat Kitty Minky once pounced on her when they were younger, scratching her just above the eye, and she's never really gotten over it.

And then she falls in love.

"No cat, babe?" Nate's voice asks from behind her teasingly. "Oh, right: you're scared of them."

Normally she'd banter back with some kind of witty retort, but she's too distracted by what she's looking at. "Natie, I want him," she pouts, tearing her eyes away to look at her boyfriend.

He slips an arm around her waist as he steps up to look into the cage as well. "A bunny?" he asks, surprised but not entirely against the idea.

"He's so _cute_," she says very quietly. The manager sidles over and asks if she'd like to hold him; she nods enthusiastically.

The bunny is a tiny little bundle of perfect warmth in her arms and she never wants to cute his cute little self down. "Hi," she whispers, nuzzling her nose in his fur. "Hi, baby bunny." She glances up at Nate, giving him a pleading look.

"You don't want a dog anymore?" Some of those puppies were really cute, and he found himself daydreaming about dog-walking and playing fetch in the Hamptons over the summer.

She shakes her head and the only answer he needs is the look she's wearing. She's entirely smitten with the small bunny rabbit she holds.

"Okay," Nate says, never one to deny her. He turns to the manager. "We'll take him."

[xo]

"Oh, you are the absolute cutest thing," Serena gushes as she picks up their new pet out of his cage. She lies back on the expensive Persian rug that covers Anne Archibald's living room's floor, placing the bunny on her tummy while she coos at him.

"Did you pick a name yet?" Nate asks, having finished lugging their rabbit supplies indoors. He sits next to her, patting the top of the small brown-and-white bunny's head.

She picks the bunny up so she can look at his little face, considering it. "Your name…is Mr. Fluffy," she decides.

Nate groans. "Mr. Fluffy?"

"You had a toy bunny when you were five and that was his name," she reminds him pointedly.

"Yeah, but I was _five_. Now, Mr. Fluffy is just…bad. It's bad."

Serena smirks at him. "Natie, does our bunny's name emasculate you?"

"Mr. Fluffy is _not_ his name," he insists.

"Fine," she huffs, turning her attention back to the bunny. "Your daddy doesn't like your name," she confides. "So let's call you…Mr. Fuzzy." She glances back over at Nate. "Is Fuzzy better than Fluffy?"

"Small improvement," he concedes as he laughs at her. "Welcome home, Mr. Fuzzy."

[xo]

Serena yawns, stretching her arms over her head, as she pads into the kitchen in her bare feet, where Nate's making nachos. "God, who knew taking care of a bunny could be this much work? And you wanted a puppy," she teases.

"Yeah, maybe not the best idea," he laughs, feeding her a nacho chip. "It's good that we're starting small. Maybe after we're done at Columbia we can get a dog."

She smiles warmly at him; she loves it when he talks about the future, especially when he does so in such a casual tone, as if their being together forever is a given. "That sounds good," she agrees, adding, "As long as it won't eat my baby."

Nate nods, laughing. She's always had maternal instincts, toward Erik, even toward Blair, and he knows that Mr. Fuzzy is going to be completely spoiled and utterly loved. "You're going to be a good mom." He means to tease, but it comes out sounding much more serious. Serena's lips part but she doesn't say anything, and he quickly amends, "I mean, to our bunny."

"And to our future dog?" she questions, looking like they've got some shared secret, though he doesn't know what it is.

He nods once more and takes a deep breath. "And to our future kids," he mumbles.

Her smile blossoms again. "You, too, Nate." She wraps her arms around him from behind and kisses his shoulder blade. "We're going to rock this parenting thing way better than our own did," she promises. Burying her face in the material of his shirt for a moment, she asks, "How _is_ your dad, have you been talking to him?"

Nate turns in her arms, placing his hands lightly on her hips, and shakes his head. "No more than you've talked to yours."

They share bittersweet, understanding smiles for a moment before she hugs him tightly, her forehead pressed to his collarbone. "I love you," she whispers, fiercely and passionately, against his skin, like it makes up for everything that has ever hurt him.

And it does.


	22. 3x22: Just Like It Never Was Before

**A/N: **I can't take full credit for Summer Grace. Reviews are love; thanks for your feedback!

**3x22**

**[Just Like It Never Was Before]**

A week before Serena's birthday, Nate's mother decides, while still in some random, small country, that the penthouse needs to be renovated. So Serena and Nate back up their things again and head out to live at her mother's place, lugging all of their things and their bunny down the street.

"Serena, darling!" Lily greets her happily, opening her arms for a hug when her daughter walks through the door. She grimaces when she sees the bags in Serena's hands. "Someone could have brought those up for you," she sighs.

"It's okay," Serena chirps easily, dropping her things as she reaches out to hug her mother. "So, we have a surprise –"

At that moment, her entire family, which has grown considerably over the past two years, appears out of whatever rooms that they were in, walking toward her for hugs and talking on top of one another.

Jenny, who Serena has barely seen in the past year, makes it there first, giddily giving the older blonde a hug. Her boyfriend hangs back shyly, choosing to wave instead. Erik's at Serena's side only a moment later and she pulls her baby brother into a boisterous hug, having missed him greatly over the past year – they've seen each other, but not nearly enough. Jonathon laughs at the expression on Erik's face as Serena pulls him into a slightly less exuberant embrace. Dan and Vanessa are standing just to the side and she instantly hugs each of them, pleased when it doesn't feel awkward at all. The air is clear, all loose ends tied. Lastly, Serena gives Rufus, her new stepfather-to-be a hug, before wrapping one arm each around Chuck and Blair, who both kiss her cheeks. It feels like one big reunion for some reason and she loves to be able to look around a room and see the people she loves. At that thought, she glances over her shoulder, looking for the person she loves most. Nate is busy setting down all the things he was carrying and stretching out his arms. Her family descends on him and she grins as she looks on; he has so little family left that she's more than happy to share hers, which never seems to stop expanding.

"Nathaniel," Chuck says once everyone's hugged or shaken hands with or back-patted Nate. "We've hardly seen you two in the past couple weeks."

"Yeah," Nate agrees, shooting Serena a playfully berating look across the room and rolling his eyes. "We've been busy with _the baby_," he adds with gentle sarcasm, because Serena tends to call Mr. Fuzzy _Baby Bunny_ which is absolutely no improvement over his already childish name.

"_What?!_" nine frantic voices demand, glaring at them both incredulously. Only Jenny's so-far-nameless boyfriend stays quiet, but his eyes are wide.

Serena rolls her eyes as her family gapes. "We got a bunny!" she tells them, lifting her shoulders delightedly and smiling broadly.

One singular, unified sigh seems to course through the room.

"Of course you did," Blair says laughingly, because it's just one of those things that, of course, Serena and Nate would do. "Did you bring him?" she asks, spotting Mr. Fuzzy's carrier.

"Oh, a bunny!" Jenny coos, and she and Blair crowd around to look at the rabbit. Serena meets Nate's gaze over their heads and grins, giggling happily when he returns her smile at full wattage.

[xo]

Dinner is one big, wonderful blur of conversation. With Serena on sitting on one side of him resting her hand on his knee and Blair on the other laughing with Chuck, Nate feels thoroughly free of love triangles and simply happy. Lily's insisting on getting her real estate agent to find Nate and Serena a townhouse for the next year, Dan's doing that awkward-but-oddly-endearing babbling thing, as is his father, and Jenny's a bundle of giggles and she and Blair actually seem to be getting along really well, Erik's funny and kind and looks completely happy; Nate feels absorbed and welcomed and like a piece of this whole puzzle.

He leans over to whisper in Serena's ear: "_Thank you, babe_."

She smiles at him and feeds him a piece of her chicken and kisses his cheek and squeezes his knee.

She doesn't need to say anything. She understands, and he knows that she does.

[xo]

It's not weird to slip into her bedroom alone with Nate that night; they've been living together for the past year and they're past the point of parental disapproval. It is, however, a little strange to kiss Erik's cheek and watch Chuck smirk knowingly at them before they duck through the door, clicking the locks in place behind them.

"Have fun," Chuck's voice, full of mirth, drifts through the hardwood door.

"_Quiet_ fun," Erik adds, his tone pleading, and Serena giggles as she hides her face in her hands and tucks herself into Nate's arms.

They walk over to the bed and sit at its end, Mr. Fuzzy nestled in Serena's arms.

"You tired?" Nate asks as she leans against him.

"No," she says, as if she's just realizing it. "Hey!" Her eyes light up, even in the her room, lit up only by the dim glow of a lamp. "You know what we should do?!"

Nate makes a face. "Serena, as much as it kills me to say no…we're in your mother's house. And she's _here_."

She makes a face right back, poking his cheek gently. "That's not what I was going to say. But I guess we know where _your_ mind is."

"The gutter," he confirms, barely ashamed, because with her he doesn't have to be. "Okay, let's hear your idea."

"Let's make a _fort_," she says eagerly, and he sees a little girl with wild blonde hair and freckles on her cheeks for a split second.

"A fort?"

"Yeah. We always used to make forts on my floor, remember? Sometimes when my mom was gone, you'd come over here instead of Erik and I going to your place, and we'd make a fort on the chairs, with all the blankets. And Erik would fall asleep, and you and I would try to scare each other with urban stories. You know, like that car that breaks down on the highway, and there's that guy with a hook for a hand…"

He nods, agreeing to everything she's said, but he only addresses the important part: "Yeah, I remember."

She gently sets Mr. Fuzzy down – Nate's not sure whether he will ever get used to thinking that bunny's name, never mind _saying_ it – on the bed as she stands, and plants her hands on her hips, her eyes sparkling. She reaches out to him with both her hands, which he takes instantly.

Standing, Nate leans in close to her, resting his forehead against hers. "You get the pillows and I'll move the chairs?" he asks in his lowest, sexiest voice.

Serena grins, nodding. "Break!" she cries, and they scramble off to opposite sides of the room.

[xo]

When their elaborate fort is completed, Serena crawls inside and settles in next to Nate, who's sitting with Mr. Fuzzy in his lap. She flicks on the flashlight and holds it upward so that it's illuminating her face spooky-story style. "There. _Perfect_," she adds in a voice that sounds vaguely like it's supposed to be a Count Dracula impression. Her Translyvanian accent needs a lot of work.

Nate smiles indulgently at her; he's been lost in thought for the past few minutes and he has things to say. "You know, I used to watch you sleep."

Serena playfully shines the light near his eyes but not close enough for him to receive the full, glaring impact of the beam. "Well, that's definitely creepy," she laughs.

"Seriously," he laughs. "You usually fell asleep not too long after Erik, and I'd just watch you breathe until I was asleep, too." He smiles, almost shyly, in a way that gets her heartbeat jumping. "I wanted to stay in here with you forever sometimes. A lot of the time," he amends, confessing.

"You're so sweet," she says faintly, reaching for his hand, her fingers grazing his intimately. "But Natie, I don't want to live in a fort on the floor of my mother's house for the rest of our lives."

He notes that she says _our_ but doesn't comment on it. "I didn't just think about living in a fort," he sighs patiently. "Don't you remember how sometimes we would talk about, just… just you and me. We thought maybe we'd get married, or maybe we wouldn't, I don't know. But we always lived somewhere really cool, near the water, so we could sail. You named our kids, do you remember that?"

Serena nods shyly, petting Mr. Fuzzy. "I didn't know that you did," she whispers, meeting his eyes.

Nate nods and grimaces. "I'm a total girl, right? Writing your name in my notebooks and planning our life together. Ugh."

She shrugs easily, grinning at her. "You grew up with Blair and me fawning over you. You can't be held be responsible."

"Thanks for your forgiveness," he chuckles, leaning in to kiss her, briefly but pretty damn perfectly. "That really was it, you know? That was the dream. It all seemed so simple then, but I don't know if I really ever thought we'd end up right here. That's what I always wanted," he laughs, almost in wonderment.

She bites her lip in that way that's meant to be coy but really means that she's feeling shy. "And what do you want…now?"

"Exact same things," he tells her seriously, their blue eyes locked. "Plus the bunny," he adds, cracking a winning smile.

Serena beams back at him. "So…do your remember the names of our offspring?"

"You don't?" he asks her sceptically, sure she's just looking for a way to embarrass him.

"No, I really don't," she says solemnly.

"Neither do I. I just remember you coming up with a long list until we finally picked two that we loved."

She nods. "One for a boy, one for a girl."

"Well…" He wracks his brain for a moment. "We could call our daughter Summer."

"Unoriginal," she scolds him.

"Says the girl who named our rabbit _Mr. Fuzzy."_

Serena rolls here eyes and pushes playfully at his arm, but she can feel herself warming up to the name. "Summer," she says quietly, testing it out. It's a sweet name and it's a season she and Nate have always found themselves thrown together in, a season she loves, and it would sound good with _Archibald_. "Sumer…Grace," she says.

He senses the solemnity in her words so he doesn't bring up the fact that she scorned his choice of name only seconds ago. "Summer Grace," he agrees mutedly. It does sound really good. He can almost envision her, a carbon copy of the little girl Serena once was. "And what about for a boy?"

She takes a moment to seriously mull it over before she finally says, "Noah."

Nate nods; he likes it. "Noah…Keith?" he edges gently, scared of sparking something with the mention of her father's name.

Serena swallows hard and shrugs one shoulder. "Noah William," she suggests, since Nate's middle name is Fitzwilliam and she knows it's a name that's been in his family for years.

He smiles soothingly at her. "I think we've got a while to figure it out, babe."

"Yeah. Two S's and two N's," she laughs, thinking about their names and the names they've just discussed. "The Archibald family," she says quietly, trying it out, feeling a surge of emotion when she realizes that it's going to be _hers_.

"And Mr. Fuzzy," Nate adds dutifully, and her heart swells.

"And Mr. Fuzzy," she agrees wholeheartedly. "Our family."

Nate lies back, pulling her to lie down at his side. "I love you," he tells her as she settles in at his side, all snuggled up to him; it's always been her favourite way to sleep.

Serena's heart is full and her eyes are, too. She laughs at herself for crying and he joins her because everything they're talking about is far off and they're still so young, it shouldn't mean as much as it does. He bends his head to kiss the tears off her cheeks but she tilts hers upwards at the same time, her lips catching his in a long, lingering kiss. "I love you, too."

They're just lying there, thinking about the past and the future; a little bit nervous, the slightest bit shy, but totally certain. They're just wishing, but it feels perfect, and moreover, in this amazingly overwhelming way, it feels _possible_.


	23. 3x23: Runaway

**A/N: **The penultimate chapter, and sadly, the chapter I'm least satisfied with. I just didn't have a lot to work with for this one. Nevertheless, here it is! Thanks so much for your reviews; keep 'em coming.

**3x23**

**[Runaway]**

Nate walks up early on the morning of July eighteenth to the feeling of Serena's fingers drifting over his skin, tracing out meaningless patterns, as she watches him sleep.

"Happy Bastille Day," she tells him with a small smirk.

He smiles blearily, pulling her close for a kiss. "Happy Birthday," he replies pointedly.

"I know when we get up Mom and Rufus have cake and presents and everything planned, and I know they'll be a lot of people around today, and that you and Blair and Chuck are throwing me a surprise party – sweet thought, impossible to do – but…I just want to spend some time with you first." She smiles. "Do you think we can go sailing?"

He glances over at the alarm clock, but it's obscured by something. Kissing her shoulder tenderly, he asks, "What _time_ is it, babe?"

Serena makes an apologetic face and phrases it like a question: "Four-thirty?"

His eyes widen for a moment but then he sighs. It's her birthday, after all. "Yeah, okay. The _Charlotte's_ docked at the marina. Let's go. But…you better get me a _really_ good birthday present," he adds laughingly.

"I will," she promises, giving him a kiss and a sultry look before she throws the covers back and hops out of bed, hurrying to get ready.

[xo]

They run down the dock, barefoot in the barely-there light, clasping each other's hands and their shoes. Nate's wearing a baby blue shirt with his swimming trunks that Serena loves for the way it makes his eyes almost hypnotically blue; she's wearing a shirt over her bikini short enough to be mistaken for a shirt, which he is more than appreciative of.

He clambers onto the boat and helps her up and they both set to work untying it from the dock, even though she's not doing a very good job. One of his favourite things about Serena is that she _always_ tries to help when they go sailing, even though most of the time she has so sweet clue what she's doing. He gently moves her hands from the knot she's trying to get undone, and when she pouts at him he says, "You can't do work on your birthday."

"Smooth," she mumbles, well aware that he's just trying to get rid of her, kissing his cheek before she disappears into the boat's cabin.

By the time he gets them sailing, she's lounging on the deck in only her bathing suit, two classes of champagne in her hands. "You look good," she says quietly, knowing that he'll understand that it's not just a comment on his appearance but also on the fact that he's happy.

Nate smiles back at her, walking over to flop down on the other lounge chair. "I _feel_ good." He accepts the champagne flute she hands him and holds it out, proposing a toast. "To you," he says, a birthday tribute.

She scrunches up her nose, shakes her head, and says, "To us," instead, hitting his glass lightly with her own.

They gulp down their champagne and pour two new glasses. Nate watches as she stares out at nothing. "What're you thinking about?" he asks her gently.

"I don't know," Serena sighs. "I feel…restless, you know? I love this city and my family but…we still have a little more than a month left of the summer and I just kind of really want to get away."

"You want to go to the Hamptons?" he suggests.

"It's like Manhattan with fewer people and a little less heat," she protests. "Let's just escape it _all_ for a while." She smiles mischievously. "Let's go sailing!"

"We _are_ sailing," he reminds her.

"No, Natie," she corrects him fondly. "I mean, this summer. Over the next month. Let's go sailing."

"Where?"

"Wherever! Come on, you know you want to."

A smile slowly appears on his lips, lighting up his face. "Yeah," he agrees. "I want to."

She reaches between their chairs to take his name. She's always been flighty; she's overcome from time to time to escape everything in her life. It's not an unfamiliar feeling, but this time it's a little different: she wants to escape absolutely everything _except_ him.

[xo]

They eat dinner with her mother, Rufus, Erik, Dan, Vanessa, Jenny, Chuck and Blair. Nate's mother calls from wherever she is to wish Serena a happy birthday, which she thinks is incredibly sweet for Anne Archibald. Lily, who has the task of buying a fabulous gift for the girl who has everything, caves and asks Serena to tell her what she wants. Sneaking a look at Nate, she promises, "I'll let you know tomorrow."

Afterward, Blair and Chuck drag Nate and Serena out the door, attempting to act innocent, but they're too excited; Blair keeps giggling and Chuck keeps smirking, and Serena loves her friends so much in that moment for doing this for her, even if they can't keep a secret. Blair booked the hottest up-and-coming club, of course, and Serena spends the night drinking martinis, dancing with Blair, and sitting on Nate's lap when her feet get sore. Ever the party girl, she makes it all the way until sunrise, even if most of her guests don't – even Nate looks bleary-eyed and Blair is leaning into Chuck's arms sleepily.

She kisses Blair's cheek before Chuck eases her into his limo. When he straightens up again, Serena holds out her arms and wraps him up in a hug. "Thank you so much," she says into his ear. "To both of you." Pulling back, she adds, "I love you guys."

Chuck sighs and makes an uncomfortable face.

"C'mon," Serena teases, "say it back. I know you _can_."

He's tired enough that she knows he'll crack easily, and he does. "We love you, too, sis," he tells her, pulling Blair into the equation as well so it's not quite as awkward a confession for him. Serena rolls her eyes and laughs, but she knows that he means it.

She and Nate cuddle but don't talk in the cab they take back to her place; they just stare at the window, out at the city, which is busy even at this hour. Just before they arrive, he gives her a quick kiss and says, "Happy Birthday," one last time. "Was this a good one?"

"Definitely," she tells him firmly as she slips out and he pays the driver. They wrap their arms around each other and stumble into her apartment on tired, unsteady feet.

Lily, who has obviously just woken up, is sitting in the kitchen reading as she sips a cup of coffee. "Well, well," she says with an arched eyebrow. "You're finally home." She seems vaguely impressed that they're not drunken disasters.

Serena nudges Nate toward her room and walks over to her mother, collapsing into a nearby chair.

Lily reaches over and gently tucks her hair out of her face. "I can't believe you're nineteen," she sighs.

She knows that she could be mad right now. Lily looks remorseful, but it's her own fault that she missed so much time in those nineteen years, that Serena needed saving so many times but that she never got it from her mother. But the thoughts only drift through her mind briefly. She's not holding grudges; she's too happy for that.

"Nate and I want to go sailing for the rest of the summer," she says firmly.

A mixture of pride and loss is evident in her mother's eyes. She's losing her daughter again, but this time it's just the natural evolution of things: growing up, moving on, choosing the people she wants to love, charting her own course.

"Whatever you need. Tell me and we'll work it out. You'll have a wonderful time."

Serena manages to smile, even though her cheeks hurt from all the laughing she's done. "Thanks, Mom," she says wearily.

Lily nods slowly, wearing a tired smile of her own. "Happy Birthday, baby," she replies quietly.

[xo]

Late the next day, when they've slept and showered, Nate and Serena sit on a blanket in the grass in Sheep Meadow, sipping hot chocolate – they've already decided that eating may not be the best idea for the day considering how they felt when they woke up – and flipping through travel catalogues supplied by Lily's travel agent, who appeared when they groggily emerged from her room late in the afternoon to lecture them on the best sailing destinations. They're sharing his iPod, listening to Jimmy Eat World as they read, and they're both wearing his t-shirts.

Serena's lying with her head on Nate's lap, a bundled-up sweater serving as her pillow. The sun is full of gentle warmth as it beats down on them; when she closes her eyes she sees a million colours. She lifts her catalogue to show Nate a picture of a beach in Bermuda, shielding her eyes, and smiles when she feels his hand slip into her hair.

Summers with one another are always the better than summers spent apart, but this one's going to be the very best. With Nate, she's not running from life, she's seizing it, grasping for more, because it doesn't get better than this and she never, ever wants it to end.


	24. 3x24: Loveboat

**A/N: **So, this is the end! This is the first chapter-length story I've ever actually finished, which, I guess, says a lot about how awesome and inspiring NS are. It's been fun, and you guys have been awesome! Enjoy this last one, and let's hope we actually get _something_ like this is season three! :)

**3x24**

**[Loveboat]**

Nate smiles to himself as he roughly folds a pair of shorts and jams them into his duffel bag, watching Serena dance around the room with Blair, her hair piled on her head and held there by a chopstick, wearing only her cut-off shorts and a white bikini top. They're about to head out, and Nate is only just packing, while Serena and Blair laugh about how guys _always_ wait until the last second to pack their things, and Blair insists that Serena not help him.

"Nathaniel." Chuck, who is sitting on the bed next to Nate's open bag, pulls out a shirt and shoots him a disdainful look. "_No_," he says firmly, dropping the shirt on the floor with a shake of his head.

Serena and Blair flop onto the bed, making the mattress bounce, breathing heavily. Blair rolls onto her stomach and asks, "So where are you guys going?"

"Where _aren't_ we going?" Serena replies laughingly. "I don't know, we've got a couple destinations planned out, but mostly we'll just see where we end up."

Blair sighs happily. "That sounds romantic."

Nate elbows Chuck as he zips his bag closed. "I'm _romantic_," he gloats.

His friend arches a single eyebrow. "Blair and I are flying to Paris in my private jet tomorrow evening."

"Aw," Serena coos when she sees that Nate's lost that competition. She scrambles off the bed and hugs him, kissing him quickly. "I still think you're romantic, I promise."

"You don't deserve her, Nathaniel," Chuck inputs laughingly.

"Shut up, _bro_," Serena snaps back, laughter hidden in her words as she half-heartedly slaps his arm. She turns back to Nate and asks, "You all packed, Natie?"

"Ready to set sail," he agrees.

She sends him a sweet grin before she kneels on the floor next to Mr. Fuzzy's carrier. "And you, baby bunny, you ready to head out of here?"

Erik, standing in the doorway of the room, pipes in with: "You know, I _could_ take care of him while you guys are gone. What if he gets seasick or something?"

"He won't," Serena says assuredly. She's not sure how she knows, but she's certain of it. "He'll have fun."

Erik looks doubtful and Nate laughs. "Your sister can't go anywhere without her baby," he says with a roll of her eyes.

"Do we have everything for him?" Serena asks, tugging lightly on Nate's hand to get his attention. "Anything he could possibly need?"

Nate wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, and presses a kiss to her temple. "I promise we do." He smiles at her. "So…we're ready to go."

"Yeah. I guess…" She turns to their friends and shrugs. "We're going."

"Okay," Blair says softly, standing up and pulling Chuck with her. All four of them get tangled up in a group hug; Blair pokes her head out to smile at Erik and open an arm: "Get in here, E."

He slips into the hug between Blair and Serena, and his sister drops a kiss on to of his head. "I'll miss you, baby bro." As they all pull apart, she takes a deep breath and shoots him a warning look, dropping on eyelid in a wink. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"That is one hell of a short list," he mutters, and everyone else laughs at her expense.

"Okay," Serena sighs as Nate slings both of their bags over his shoulder – they're not taking much since they'll be spend the majority of their time at sea in their bathing suits or nothing at all – and picks up Mr. Fuzzy's carrier. She reaches out and pulls Chuck, then Blair, into one more farewell hug.

"Have a good summer, S. Have fun. Be safe."

"Back atcha," she says into Blair's hair.

Her best friend smiles serenely as they let each other go. "We'll see you in the fall. We love you."

"We love you, too," Nate inputs gently, making them all smile.

Serena glances at him over her shoulder. They've got nothing left to do. They already called his mother to let him know of their plans, packed up everything Mr. Fuzzy could need, and said goodbye to her family. It's late in the day and they want to get out on the water before the sun sets. All that's left to do is leave.

She slips her hand into his as they step into the elevator. She's sad to be saying goodbye to Blair and Chuck for the whole month, but it's really no different than any other summer, and she just can't feel lonely when she's got Nate with her; all she feels is excitement.

[xo]

Once they're on the _Charlotte_, she takes all the bags and Mr. Fuzzy's carrier from his arms to take down into the cabin. She throws their bags on the floor and settles Mr. Fuzzy in a corner, opening the door of his carrier for a moment to check on him. "You okay?" she asks him, even though it's obvious that he can't reply. He looks pretty content, so she feels okay about leaving him there for a little bit. She opens the fridge and pulls out a beer for Nate and a vodka cooler for herself, popping the caps off before she heads out again.

On deck, Nate's already untied all those knots that she usually struggles with for what seems like hours. She almost actually wants to lick her lips as she walks over to him. He looks _amazing_, with his sun-streaked blond hair, his tan, and his shiny blue eyes. He's wearing his blue swim trunks and a white polo shirt that only make him look better still, and she notices all of his muscles.

"Hey, you," she says softly.

Nate turns to look at her and grins. She looks _insanely good_; her tan highlighting her blonde hair and navy blue eyes, and her short shorts and bikini top don't leave much to the imagination. Serena van der Woodsen doesn't have physical flaws, she never has, so he admires every inch of her skin.

"You're such a good sea guy," she compliments him laughingly, holding out a bottle of beer. She knows very little about sailing but she's always been enthusiastic about it, bouncing around and offering her help.

"Thanks," he says as he accepts the beer from her. "You know we match?" he asks her. They're both wearing white and the same shades of blue.

Serena nods. "I planned it that way," she smirks.

He's not sure whether she's kidding or not, but either way, he says, "Well, it's too bad that you put that much effort into it, because…I don't plan on letting you stay in those clothes for very long."

She grins brightly and pulls him close by the collar of his shirt. "Take me now, sailor," she purrs, only half-teasing.

Nate smiles back at her. "Let's get out of here," he says huskily, wrapping his free arm around her waist.

She wraps her free arm around his neck and taps her cooler against his beer. "Welcome to vacation," she says.

He kisses her fiercely and she wraps both arms around him, holding him close. She tastes like her drink, strawberries and liquor, a little bit like freedom, a lot like love, and it's enough to make him ache for her, to want her even closer. In turn, he's got both his arms around her waist, and she can feel the cool glass of his beer bottle pressing against her bare back; it makes her shiver in a good way. He tastes a little bit smoky, like Nate has ever since the first time she kissed him, and she's practically dizzy with want for him.

"If we keep this up we'll never leave New York," he says against her lips.

She laughs and reluctantly lets him go so that he can fiddle with buttons and levers and the wheel while she peers over his shoulder curiously. She likes that he's so knowledgeable about all this ship stuff – it's undeniably sexy, especially when he's trying to explain something to her.

"There," he says with the triumphant twist of a knob, turning back to her as they begin to move. "We're off."

"You and me," she says happily, "One month."

Nate laughs, setting his beer down and tucking Serena's out-of-control hair out of her face. "We're going to have a whole lot longer than one month," he says solemnly, despite his perfect smile.

There's no better way to respond than to kiss him. She presses her lips to his fiercely and opens her mouth against his as she wraps her arms securely around him. His arms are around her with an equal amount of force, pulling her so close that she stands on her tiptoes as one of his hands gets lost in her hair. When they finally break apart, just barely, to breathe, she inhales the sea hair and smiles. The sun is setting, beating down on in shades of deep orange and pinky-lavendar. Her nose brushes sweetly against his and he tightens his grasp on her just the slightest bit.

It's the perfect moment.

And they're going to make that feeling last _forever_.


End file.
